Right, I bloody hate summer clothes

[hunkermunker]

I have a list of reasons I look bloody awful in summer clothes including eczema and general squashiness - do I have to buy that Cath Kidston teepee to look remotely summery or is there something I can do, short of...er...some mad head transplant surgery onto someone willowy?

Oh, like that, harpsi, like it a lot. £3 you say? Even I can stretch to £3...hmm...

But it's a child's cardi...

Got excited myself when I saw £3!

Not as crumpled as I make it harpsi, I promise you

Just realised that that cardi is...somewhat tum enhancing...and that is the LAST part of me that needs enhancing. In fact, I'm glad I have the norks, really - they detract from the tum

I'm a summer clothes hater too. Short sleeved tops don't cover my upper arms, lack of opaque tights do not pull my stomach in, I can't stand pastel colours, can't wear trousers because I'm a heifer, and have manky feet so can't do shoes without toes. So, to look good I'd need to

go to chiropodist for 5 months
lose a million stone
do a million sit ups
do a million arm exercises
be ten years younger
have a complete body and face lift

So that's me in the closed toe, mid sleeve length top, dark colours and very long skirt. It's not a pretty sight, roll on autumn I say.

ooops yeah but LIKE THAT
there are some in New Look
and every where else I bet

AND it's bloody girlswear - I'd not get my left nork in that cardi, harpsi! ROFL!

\link{http://www.debenhams.com/jv/product_details_jv.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=9101483&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=7864355&bmUID=1149801778625\I rather like this but feel free to snort derisively}

psml www
You are a v attractive woman-I saw your wedding photos.

\link{http://www.marksandspencer.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Product_Id=1989511&portal=locayta\not a particularly nice one but you catch my drift}

yeah, that's nice snafu
belts are good

the cardi is pale coloured. And would draw attention to my stomach as it would hang out attractively underneath. I am beyond help I think. Wore a pencil skirt today and a pale blue top with high heels but still looked vile imo.

\link{http://www.marksandspencer.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=8018&Product_Id=2025975\Is this nice?}

I am mortified by my lack of style. Although not as much as my lack of wallet-filling atm

Perfectly nice, if slightly dull...

Nice snafu but fatties (not suggesting present company fits this description obv.) seem to think that if you cover up,you hide the fat.
You don't-it is just accentuaTED.
tHAT TOP WOULD CLING TO PENDULOUS BOSOMS AND CLING MOST unATTRACTIVE (oops)to hefty buttocks,rising up and down at one with 'em.

Ooh Snafu, ooh, ooh, that has good cover up, long sleeve, downward stripes (they're good aren't they?), stomach covering properties AND it's v neck, my favourite flattering shape and what Trinny and Susannah say you should wear if you're fat

moondog, they were flattering pics in a dark room! Thanks though!

Hunker,that is as dull as a old cheese sandwich on a Tuesday night in Tooting.

that woman's a stick and would look good in a sack hunker.

\link{http://www.marksandspencer.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=8900&Product_Id=1950055\I might gor for this if they have it in black}

WWW, I am too a mankey feet person, but I brought an oblong tablet scrubber type thing from boots for a couple of quid, also a intensive moisturiser in their 3 for 2, and it definately has made a difference. Thats after 5 days of use.

I always feel slimmer with a tan, and the dove cream is actually working quite well for me (the others make me stink). I'm working extra hard at moisturising and I don't have bad orange bits and I am able to shave my legs more than once a week!

Hunker, you are tiny. If you need an 18 to accomodate your voluptuous chest then so what?? If you wear the floaty tops it really dosen't matter how wide it is around (your completely unflabby) belly. Ok????

\link{http://www.marksandspencer.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=8900&Product_Id=1963348\althoguh this is nicer}

I quite like those sort of flowy cardigans held together in one place only by large pice of horn (knowwhaddimean??)

Have come to the conclusion that everything must have a waist of some sort.
Up and down is a bad look unless v skinny.

Yes, that's the other problem - skinny models (thought you meant my wedding photos for a mo there, MD and did wonder! Mind you, I was a size freaking eight when I got married - with a perfectly respectable 34DD bust, not the pair of watermelons I currently possess ).

I don't know anything and need Trinny and Susannah, really - but I would literally die of shame if they grabbed bits of me and shoved me in the 360 mirror room...!

Monsoon site, long-sleeve tops, Penny blouse (yes, it is orange, but it's nice too)

www,potato and sack spring to mind.
Sorry....

Mmm, you could be right, md.