Help with stupid emergency Wimbledon for a chubby pauper

[DialsMavis]

So my twat boss has decided that staff have to dress in tennis gear at work whenever Andy Murray is playing. I've left it until the last minute as u thought it was some sort of grim joke, apparently it's not. If I was thin, young and gorgeous I would scour the charity shops for ironic tennis gear and look like an attractive yet amusingly ironic female tennis version of the 118 guys, unfortunately that isn't the case. I am broke and need it by tonight. I also work in an environment surrounded by pervy and mysoginist older men (pub) & am years older and dress sizes wider than the other women who work there, help!

I'm also completely skint. I was thinking wrist bands and a videos band thingy, sports direct?
And a white dress or skirt and £2 primark white tee, as long as I can wear the dress on holiday. Has anyone seen anything v cheap that I can grab today? I'd rather it wasn't too short, but I can always wear leggings if needed, but that would look pretty silly next to the acres of tanned young that will be on display from my colleagues.

I'm a 12-14 (more like a 14 at present), extremely fat legged 5ft7

Please help (apologies for length and hysteria of this post)

Videos = headband

Dress like a ball girl, head to toe in purple and crouch behind the bar :)

Or tell your boss to go fuck himself?

Or at least stump up cash for a new outfit

Tell your boss to pay.

We had to do dress up days when I worked in Lush. I hated the faff and expense, I should have told them a blank "no".

Sports direct have a good sale on for wrist/headbands I was just there on Saturday.
Primark for white tee/dress/skirt/leggings
please make sure you keep the receipts so you can present them to your twat boss!

or get a tennis ball and thread it on a piece of string and wear it as a necklace? X

There is no way he will pay, they are idiots. But they are idiots who are feeding my DC until I get a graduate job.

Set yourself a budget I would only spend a fiver. We are always having to do charity stuff in our office like wear a certain colour I hate it as I only ever wear black or navy if I'm feeling exotic ha ha.

Go dressed as an umpire? Navy blazer and midi length white skirt - or some female umpires wear white trousers.

• If you have those clothes already of course

I'm with the tell him to fuck off brigade. What is it with people and tucking fancy dress? Most people hate it, it's not fun it's a pain in the arse. I'd ignore it. They can't sack you for not dressing up!

Agree with Gwendoline. The twat can't dismiss you for not joining in with this. And, if he does, you'd probably have a stonking unfair dismissal claim.

Failing that, just wear whatever you'd wear if you were playing tennis e.g. Trackie bottoms, a tee and trainers. After all, he didn't say you had to dress like a Wimbledon tennis player.

I know I should tell them to do one, but quite pathetically I want to have a nice Ish time while working and everyone else is really into the idea .

It was freezing for parts of the French open.
Several of the women played in long sleeves and cropped leggings

Could you go as a 1930s tennis player? So white shirt, pearls and (the tricky bit) some sort of white skirt, which doesn't need to be short, white socks and plimsoles? Plus a white sweatband to ram the point home? But yes, if they want you to dress up and it is a customer -facing role, surely they ought to pay expenses.

Suit up and go umpire?

I think you need to view yourself a little differently. I am 5'5" and look pretty sylph like at a size 14 and damn skinny at a 12.

Ahhh thanks everyone. I just grabbed a nice t shirt dress from H&M which I will wear anyway and stuck my plimsolls on and my hair in plaits.

At 5ft 7 ins and size 12/14 you are not chubby.