Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

[NumTumDeDum]

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

Hand im laughing at fat child at pony club!!

so agree at that 'redistributing' thing that pregnancy does - im at my pre pregnancy weight on the scales (not that thats anything to be proud of, was a stone heavier than i would have liked when i got pregnant) but nothing fits right any more. quite liking these high waisted jeans i bought though, having previously moaned about them on here, theyve loosened up a bit and look quite nice.

bought some coconut oil the other day, hear it makes a nice hair treatment so i will be trying that shortly

ooh microdermabrasion sounds good

i my skin looks knackered and half dead so i need something to perk it up - i feel a little trip to body shop and new look coming on

at work today so easy to not look frumpy (i hope) ash coloured cowl neck top with navy ankle grazing narrow leg trousers and some cool navy shoes with bows to do them up.

back into civvies tomorrow for sahm look which is not so good - will be back on tomorrow to whine for sure

I'm going to de-fuzz my legs and lady garden tomorrow night. OH is out for the evening, so am going to have a bit of a pamper session once the boys are in bed. I had a potter round Debenhams and am disappointed to report that I found absolutely nothing clothes wise. Well, one top, but it was way too short, so would have exposed my lovely love handles. So, still no idea what to wear on Friday.

Right I'm taking the opportunity to go to Lakeside tomorrow as I'm dropping dd off to her dad in that neck of the woods. I've just been paid for the cheese video that started this off so I've £55 to spend.

Now normally I'd head straight for Primark and get quantity. However, this time I think just one key item that I really love (plus the microdermabrasion stuff from Bodyshop). But what?

After the microdermabrasion stuff, you'll have about £40 ish left. So, a nice top to go with the black skinnies (I'm thinking something victoriana style) or a pair of sandals. Mind you, I find it so difficult to find anything decent/ likeable at the mo, I'd probably go and blast it on a bottle of Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repaur or Chanel Les Beiges face powder. I'm no help, am I?

Sandals are a possibility. My old gladiator ones have definitely had it.

Hmm. Key pieces I've just bought for my summer capsule wardrobe (determined not to rely on a handful of things I love, mix and match)

• Saltwater sandals in tan - these are the sandals I've been looking for my whole life, they are so comfy and stylish I could weep, I am mentioning them on every thread I'm on They're sold out everywhere in London but if you're in the market for some check out Modcloth
• white and navy print shirt with buttons, to wear done up to the collar (I have stopped BF so am flat chested again )
• denim shorts
• perfect grey t shirt (from Monki online, really good value)
• leather skirt (ok this is not for everyone but I am obsessed with mine)

for that money, if you have a pair of skinnies and a pair of flats that are good, I would look for a great top that's easy to just put on, but looks put together. For me that would be something fairly boxy with short sleeves in a thick fabric, clean lines, from COS or Zara. That will balance the skinnies, and won't bag or sag. H&M also sometimes have lovely finds.
Or a good quality summer jumper or sweatshirt. I just bought this one from Topshop, it's much admired

Hey frumpers I just popped back onto this thread for a bit of inspiration. Nice ideas coming out here - thanks!

Pah! It's my 37th birthday tomorrow. Someone asked me if it is a "big" one. I glared, said no and then wondered if he might have meant 30 deluded woman that I am. I'm off to microdermabrate (is that even a word?) a decade off my face!

I turned 35 last month, someone asked me if it was a big one, I could've cried -slapped her-

Why are all of my clothes blue/navy?? In my 20s it was black, do you think by the time I hit 60 it will be beige ? One colour lighter per decade older?

I'm in the same boat too, except a bit further down the line - I'm 35 (eek) and DD is 2.
I lost my babyweight quickly, but it has left me looking tired and old. I need to do something, anything, with my hair and to get a bit of the 'old' me back. I really miss her. I think I may need to invest in some polyfilla or antiwrinkle gloop.

Debenhams do a free personal shopper service. If you're unsure what really suits you now you can use them to pick out good shapes, styles and colours. You don't need to buy anything there, but it may focus your search on specific pieces of clothing - skinny jeans or belted dresses etc.
I agree with others - eyebrows! I always feel better when they and my moustache and beard have been professionally vanished!

If you're in the process of losing weight and want to avoid buying clothes, treat yourself to a few cheap and cheerful accessories - bags, scarves, earrings, hair bands etc. They can really make a plain outfit look 'done' and you'll attract compliments which will make you feel so much better about yourself xxx

IWill- lol. Yes, my wardrobe has changed from black to brown/grey in 10 years too. Right, de-frump in progress. Off to commandeer the bathroom for a bit and sort out my face and fuzz. Then I'll rifle through my wardrobe and see what I can wear tomorrow. Probably jeans and a vest top and blazer. Chuck a chunky necklace round my neck and I may just pass for a thirty something .

Num- what did you buy at Lakeside today?

Rooty- I like the sound of your staple items. I'm off to have a look at those sandals

ugh meant determined to, not determined not to. Stupid subconscious derailing my defrumping.

shoeprincess we are clearly cut from the same cloth, I love nothing more than blasting money I do not have on Chanel and EL

The sandals are really good on the foot, just clunky enough.

Lakeside num? is there more than one place named that or are you in my neck of the woods? Without wanting to be too specific, I'm up Northwards?

Lakeside Essex! I have rubbed shoulders with the very groomed today. Sadly I had no time for shopping as I met up with an old friend for lunch and spent my shopping time chatting! Had to leave early to miss the gridlock on the m25 so was quietly miffed but it was nice to catch up. Had a good look around me though. Some lovely outfits. Some not so lovely involving velour tracksuits

Have decided to try and sell some things on ebay to add to the pot.

Big birthdays? Obvs they meant 30

Lakeside must be a popular name for shopping centres then! Velour tracksuits are big here too, usually worn with big skyscraping heels not by me though, I'd pierce the earth's crust if I put all this weight on a stiletto heel

shoe tell me about blazers. I love the idea of a blazer but what type, etc. frumpy frump frump doesn't know where to start

I have one that I really like. I bought it in a sale a few years back, in Miss Selfridge of all places. Just a thick black jersey material and single breasted- one button. It isn't fancy, just a simple style. Oh, it does have a wiast- i cannot wear boxy styles or cropped ones, as they add pounds to me. This one just sits at the top of the hip bone too. I like the idea of a cotton blazer for summer in a lighter colour. I used to have a navy one with cream piping, but OH said that I looked like Patrick McGoohan from The Prisoner. It kind of put me off wearing it.

Rooty- I prefer spending money on beauty products as they are easier to buy and don't depress me like clothes shopping. I shall have to take the bull by the horns and get a personal shopper. It has to be done . Have a pleasant day ladies. I am now officially 37.

I know you asked shoe but if you don't mind if I chip in , I have just been trying to work this out because I've just dug out a blazer I bought a couple of summers ago from Zara but has hardly seen the light of day due to DD. Mine is a neutral sort of sandy colour. It is quite soft and unstructured and I think the way I am going to wear it is as a defrumped alternative to a cardigan, with the sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow ie not too precious. Zara is king of the blazer on the highstreet and I think the way they've styled them on their site is nice - I really like some of the print ones.

Happy birthday shoe! I am a Gemini too

Yes rooty alternative to cardi's I am the -frump- cardigan queen. I have lots of them and HATE them!

Well off to do the sr -in my navy cardi-

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear shooooooooooooooe! Happy Birthday to you!

I very much hope you are being spoiled rotten.

Happy Birthday shoe hope you have a lovely day

I have decided I hate the cardi. Almost any lady shape will be frumped by one - with the exception of very chunky wool. They just hang from the saggy post BF breasts.