Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

[NumTumDeDum]

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

Operation defrump has begun. Shredded yesterday, measured for new bra today, cull tomorrow.

Today tried to put something interesting on and looked crap so took advice and went for blue jeans, black vest and cardi with gold ballet pumps with statement necklace Didn't feel I set the world on fire but didn't also feel crap. A win today I think.

Helga that's a lovely dress! I really like the print and the cut. Shoes are a whole other thing though right? I don't have any summer shoes I like at all, so black flip flops complete all my outfits too. Shoes are so expensive and I can't figure out what kind of flat-heeled sandal would go well with jeans and also skirts.

Do you all think the long shorts look good on tall people with long too-skinny legs? I look like a stork in all shorts, and usually wear knee-length skirts.

blue jeans, black vest and cardi with gold ballet pumps with statement necklace

This is perfect.

This is defrumping 101.

If all of these things fit nicely and look to be if decent quality you will have looked FAB.

Aw thanks

Felt a bit boring but then again I didn't feel crap.

Beginnings of the cull today and three smock tops have hit the deck together with some dubious ancient t shirts. Jeans and trousers next up for the chop.

I chucked out a sundress that looks nice at the top/shoulders but makes my hips look 10 feet wide.

4 bags ready for charideee...!! hurray!!

this de frumping is timely actually as we are moving house at the end of the month so need to clear out anyway.
have bagged up quite a few items that ive had for years, i liked them but have never ever worn - this is the right thing to do, yes?

Totally the right thing Howiwonder. Added to my pile a pair of hipster Jane Norman jeans that only ever looked good on me in the fitting room ... 8 years ago. I have never even worn them. I couldn't if I wanted to now of course.

Bit of a bad day for me today, not feeling at all good, ds has been very demanding and we had other parents over with babies same age. Felt uncomfortable in what I had on - black linen trousers, vest and flipflips and they looked chic, relaxed and very together. Also wasn't able to sort grooming this morning as planned, dd meltdown = no time to do anything but brush hair. I have ragged nails from digging the garden and raggy sore cuticles. My toenail polish had only a first coat from last week which is all I had time to so before getting distracted and was all chipped. Felt a total mess.

Also checked bank account and I have £0 until next week so no new clothes.

Num, it's a good thing you have no cash this week as can fully concentrate on the nail situation: today trim and clean off ratty nail varnish, tomorrow massage lots of oil /cream into hands and cuticles, Wed/Thu lash on a few coat of varnish and if you have it top coat. All ready for the weekend.

PS linen trousers are really really difficult - I have never found a good pair - either too baggy or horrible tight bottomed. Have you found a good pair or should these be chucked???

Hola! I'm de-lurking. I am currently residing in frumpsville. DS1 is 2.9 and incredibly demanding at the moment and DS2 is 9 mths. My body has been ravaged by BFing and I seem to have lost my way in the style stakes. I turn 37 on Friday and feel like having a one person pity party. DP and 1 went out for a meal on Saturday and all the women there just looked so pretty and glam and I felt like crying. I do not need to lose weight- I am tall and slim, but just feel frumpy and that nothing suits me. I look in the mirror and just look s*. Anyway, operation defrump needs to commence!

Shoeprincess I've a vision of you de cloaking like a klingon warship. Wow I'm a geek.

Today I have gone through my toiletries and cosmetics. Anything older than a year has been dumped - reason being that it will be either full of bacteria or past its best. I vaguely remember Kim amd Aggie doing tests on a mascara someonr had and it was full of bacteria including conjunctivitus. Nice thought eh. Most of my nail polishes were separated and dry so that made choosing those easy. Have kept my favourite ruby red and two neutrals, the rest have gone. For some reason I had loads of fuscias, horrible colour on me.

I've also dumped all the little sample sachets for things hanging around that I'm never going to use. Amazing how much more space I have in my drawer now. Also going are my cosmetics/toiletry bags. I don't like any of them, they've accrued from christmas presents- you know the kind that come wrapped up with really cheap nasty toiletries specially packed for christmas.

Shoeprincess - hug for your birthday, and sorry you felt sub par - I've had that feeling too of looking round a pub/restaurant and feeling frumpy. It's rubbish. I usually have another glass of wine and try to be more witty pissed than usual!

Right, in the last two days I have plucked my eyebrows (bit wonky, but neater) and straightened my hair (the cut is still shit but at least it looks smooth). I've also taken off my ragged nail varnish on my finger nails and trimmed nails. Haven't managed to re-varnish yet, but I reckon that's all I can manage for now!

Rain and greyness not improving my de-frump motivation.

Num, SUCH a good idea. I have hundreds of mini shampoo bottles!

Shoeprincess, what have you got planned for your birthday? Will you be getting money/vouchers possibly? Perhaps you could try the personal shopper at Debenhams/House of Fraser? I'd love to try that, but requires cash first so I can actually purchse something.

Handmini, good going on the nails. I found cuticle oil and cuticle remover during my rummage- didn't realise I had them so that's saved me duplicating. Need nail polish remover and then I'm doing a home pedi and manicure aided by the power of You Tube.

In terms of hair, I'm with you on the not being able to get it cut yet. I've been trying to teach myself to french plait my own hair. I've just about got it practising on dd's hair but doing it to yourself is a bit trickier.

Issima, did you manage to return the clothes? I'm having trouble working out my colours. Not helped by my hair being three colours, dark at the tips from old dye, a sort of brown/mouse in the middle and then bleach almost blonde bits from the sun. My mum's coming over tonight so perhaps she can help me. She's a bit like Bridget Jones mum!

Ooooh num, that is a good idea. I have got some cash coming my way, so will certainly think about having a personal shopping session at Debenhams. I need something to inject a bit of life and style into my wardrobe. I am actually out with some old work colleagues on Friday for my birthday. I haven't seen a few of them for a year, so want to turn up and look cool and glam that I imagine myself being in my head. I am planning on having my hair done in the morning, as it has been woefully neglected since having Oliver in September!

HandMini- I did have an extra glass of wine but the warmth and alcohol combined just turned me into a sweaty mess.

Plans for this week- microdermabrasion on Thursday (a Body Shop one) and haircut Friday. i wouldn't mind treating myself to a new lipstick. Any recommendations for one that looks natural? has to be available at either Boots or a small Debenhams.

Shoe, when you say a bodyshop microdermabrasion, is that a product they sell or does your local bodyshop offer it as a service?

Num- it's a product. In an orange tube. Called Vitamin C microdermabrasion. It is a very, very fine scrub and you can only use it twice a week max. It is seriously good stuff and a reasonable middle ground for someone who doesn't want to go to a salon and actually have the microdermabrasion. It is very good and leaves your skin extremely smooth. If you then apply a serum, it soaks straight in- I guess because it doesn't sit on top of dead skin. There are always loads of Body Shop offers on, so you never seem to pay full price for things.
How is the sleeping going Num? The sleep deprivation plays havoc with your body and skin- my 9 month old has just started sleeping for 10-11 hours in the last 3 weeks, so I was ready for dropping. Your Jane Norman jeans story made me smile, as I had the same issue with an impulse purchase of some hipster Karen Millen jeans. They sat in my wardrobe for years. I never ever wore them. In fact, most of my jeans now just sit awkwardly on my hips. I think 2 rounds of baby carrying has re-distributed everything as nothing seems to sit right anymore. Gah! Did your mum sort you out last night then?

Shoe, thanks I'm going to have a look for that next time I go into town.

As for mum, no sadly! She's going on a cruise today so last night was mainly talking about the cruise! Well, can't blame her, she's very excited.

Ah Karen Millen. I love that shop but as you say pregnancy has redistributed my body and I doubt anything they sell would fit now. Plus, I don't have a job currently so I haven't the budget any more. I have fond memories of buying a dress in there after I qualified, I think I did a victory lap of the street carrying the bag, I was so chuffed.

Hi frumps (tongue in cheek). We're doing so well!! Haircuts, nails, microdermabrasion for fricks sake! Keep it up.

I'm doing ok today - plain blue jeans, pink cardigan buttoned up, blue ballet flats. And I chucked out two rancid old gilets both of which made me look like a fat child at pony club.

Morning Hand! Outfit sounds nice. I have never bought shoes in any colour but black or brown. I may try and break that habit.

I'm pretty amazed how many people have commented on this thread, it's quite comforting that I'm not alone.

hi well i like my hair to be healthy so i like natural products so i usually buy henna its a perfectly natural hair color and its cheap $4 in indians store , i buy creams and shapoons and all that staff from there its really good and cheap and its do wonders for my skin as i have very sensitive skin

hope it may help you