Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

[NumTumDeDum]

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

Rooty, I see what you mean about shorts to the knee. I can see that working. The temptation to wear short ones is there because my legs are thin but although I'm an hour glass I'm so bulky round the middle that I look apple shaped. The advice about dresses is good, but I can't try that til I've stopped bf.

Yes, those are the pencil skirts I meant.

Try a shirt dress (very fashionable at moment) button through with a loose cami or vest top underneath. I BF two babies wearing these and it can be done discreetly, especially with all these gorgeous scarves about at the moment.

yy my mum has great legs and wideish hips and she wears shorts this way - makes her pins look even more lovely and doesn't distort the hip area. you could also try an above the knee slightly A line skirt?

I know you've said budget is minimal but I would go for a few pieces you love from Zara, COS, H&M (who sometimes have stellar fabrics), Whistles, and build from there. A few things in neutral but possibly unexpected fabrics, will feel more luxe eg dark denim shorts, perfect leather skirt (current obsession), then mix with cheaper stuff.

A fab jacket is actually a good place to start, because you can wear it with everything and then you feel marvellous all the time

Sorry, I luff threads like this!

Posted too soon.....RE scarves, New Look have some fantastic prints and styles priced from £6 upwards. One or two scarves worn with fairly classic separates or a plain dress can really uplift your look. Google scarf knotting tutorials online for a myriad of different ways to wear it and invest in hotter weather scarf and one for early mornings, late evenings out and transitional weather.

And re hair, if a fringe suits you and your hairstyle consider getting one cut. They really do knock years off of one. Or learn a few simple braid techniques. Plaiting damp hair overnight if it is shoulder length+ also gives a youthful beachy look for summer when unplaited and shook out the next morning.

Use a glossy moisturiser to keep skin as supple as possible-essential when BFing sucks all the zip out of you. Spending 2 minutes slapping scented moisturiser etc can give you a bit more confidence.

And has DH upped his game since having the baby? I'm sure he means it kindly and is trying to support and encourage you but I hope his comments don't have a negative effect upon you. I think even the most supportive of men still have no real idea of just how much our confidence and vision of our womanly selves as something other than a life support system for children takes a battering from pregnancy and post pregnancy.

Issima both those dresses look as though they COULD be nice shapes. I would play it safe and get them in darker colours, then brighten them up with scarf / bag / sandals.

Issima I have the jersey dress v easy to wear and flattering

Issima

The pink cotton slub will hang better IMO. Jersey can cling especially during hot weather and a jersey empire line can cling to the muffin and make it look like a pregnancy if the proportions are out. I like both dresses but the cotton slub has more structure. Like the pink with a tan shoe and denim. Very city day wear. If both colours are in the cool spectrum, then a cool pale yellow can look fantastic with pink. Unexpected but true and also not commonly seen. Pale Ice Blue also looks good as does Indigo hence the denim.

I also think jersey might cling too much. But they are great dresses and the waistlines seem good. Is polyester not better as it won't cling? H&M has some nice dresses right now that are not too flowy but would move well, I would think.

Chasing am so impressed by everything you've done. I just did the color site, which was fun.

And I really have to do the shred sometime tonight. It will be my first day. I know I can't procrastinate on it.

Bfing in dresses:

Stretchy v/cowl/ scoop neck - the Boden ones Issima linked to would be great, you basically need to be able to get your boob out of the neckline. Thin vest or cami underneath dress.
Dress neckline goes down, cami/vest goes up and over cleavage and baby. You can add a scarf for extra coverage/swishness, should you have time for such fripperies.

Much easier for hurried dressing as it's just one item and no need to pair separates. Infinitely more flattering over post baby wobbly bits and you'll feel less frumpy.
I put short leggings on underneath for baby groups/toddler stuff to avoid flashing.
Plain colours and thicker fabrics with a bit of structure look pulled together, patterns with more drape are more relaxed but hide a multitude of splats!
I'm 5'5", appley and boobs are currently 30G (so not a svelte young thing that can covertly slip a nipple out of a t-shirt).

Hugely shallow, but the prospect of vest, loose top & jeans combo ad infinitum would never have seen me bf my DCs to toddlerhood!

Lol
6 months.
You're doing brilliantly to be able to fit into ANY jeans.
We are like butterflies. You're still almost in chrysalis stage.
I joined Slimming World and shop carefully at Sainsbury's and TK Maxx. Always wear (for an hour or so)to show a friend whose style you admire.
Keep labels on. Take back if its not who you want to be.
I lost weight and now can't close my wardrobe. Shopping addict.
Xx

On the boden dress topic the jersey is quite a thick jersey hides my muffin; )

Gel nails -led lamp is fab and cheaper than salons

Keatsie - did you Shred?

I'm doing badly today - not one item of my outfit makes me feel / look nice.

I cannot recommend maxi dresses enough! They are so flattering and are suitable for all budgets, everywhere from Primark to Prada seems to stock them.
A classic black maxi dress with sandals and bangles is always good . Also, natural but will applied make-up is great: a good foundation, blusher, lipstick and mascara will take years off you. What's your budget for make-up?

Hand no, I didn't. I'm so irritated with myself. I had a lot to get done before the weekend but really I just allowed myself to not do it. I'm going to do it this evening. I did get my old yoga mat out in preparation, which seriously has not been used in 10 years.

I know that feeling of all the clothes being unflattering. I had that going on too but blamed it on not Shredding so as to motivate myself. (But why are there no long t-shirts anywhere? Who decided that all my t-shirts should expose my jeans button? The jeans are from Old Navy, I have no need to flaunt the insignia.) Sorry you're feeling out of sorts. Oh one thing I find refreshing as I'm trying to drink a lot more water, which you mentioned I heat water in the electric kettle and then just drink a mug of hot water. It's somehow nicer and feels more cleansing and soothing than yet another glass of tap water.

Might try hot water. My grandma used to drink it as her beverage of choice....I think it had something to do with the war years / rationing still being ingrained in her!

Oh and DD2 has just thrown up on my frumpy outfit which will force me to change. About to go and put on plain black maxi dress.

The hot water is really nice. I've started drinking it when I first get up, it makes me feel like I'm starting the day cleanly, helps me pay more attention to how I feel and what I really want to eat (am cutting out most gluten for the month to see if it helps with energy levels, figure if nothing else it will cut down on carb intake).

Ugh. But suppose you should thank your DD for getting you out of a bad outfit

Keats, I actually am really pleased she did it! Tho obv sad for her - she's a poorly pudding today.

Am desperately trying to get my washing done. I've got rid of do much stuff I'm down to three pairs of jeans and a few t shirts. Off to peacocks later to try on the knee length shorts without dd in tow. She keeps hiding under the clothes racks, it's exhausting.

I have read this thread with interest!

I was feeling like a total frump until recently. I've been in a bit of a frump rut for a couple of years really. I think the main cause of me feeling that way was that I'd put on weight (2 stone ish). Also I felt really fed up with my hair. It's quite wavy, and straightening it just made it thin, limp and frizzy, but unstraightened it looked awful too, so I ended up wearing it up most of the time (and looking mumsy and frumpy as it just doesnt' suit me up)

So I did two things. Firstly I dug out some Davina McCall DVDs I'd had for ages and started working out every day for a month or so, then dropped down to every other day. This has made a massive difference to me and how I feel. I really feel like I'm getting my body back! I haven't weighed myself but I think I am losing weight as clothes are hanging off me, and I am getting to the stage where if I catch sight of myself in the mirror in my undies I'm thinking 'Is that really my body?'. It's brilliant! I'd definitely recommend the Davina DVDs. Superbody is particularly good!

Also, on the recommendation of a friend I ditched the straighteners and got a Babyliss Big Hair styling brush, and, again, wow! It makes my hair look fantastic and people actually come up to me and say they love my hair! Three months ago I hated my hair! It makes it all bouncy, and wavy, and big, with no frizz!

Now my body is more to my liking I've found my interest in clothes has returned, and I have bought a few bits; I've got a few dresses for summer, which I am wearing on cooler days too, with leggings. Also skinny jeans and vest tops just seem to look better now I am slimmer and my arms are more toned.

I actually wore a dress in public today. And thought I looked good! It was a desperation buy from earlier in the week because its soooo hot but actually seemed to work well. this one. Had no suitable shoes though so ended up in my black fitflops which didn't really work but it was so hot I had nothing else to wear.