Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

[NumTumDeDum]

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

Haha, I had to get dressed in 15 secs, and grabbed jeans skirt ( shortish) and a fitted white tee...this morning

Good standby items

I think everybody needs to work out a few acceptable in-a-hurry choices that are not frumpy. You cannot think anout how you look every day ( well I don't)

get yourself to Matalan - I got their straight leg jeans and they are so forgiving, make you look amazing actually. And the best bit £12 a pair!

Where are you in the world? Have you got any friends who would know what colours, styles would work on your shape?

mini shopping spree in new look done! 2 t shirts at a fiver each, 2xjeans/jeggings at 9.99 each. think im doing this the wrong way round though as havent actually done the clearing out of frump clothes yet...

Joining too. I am a summer frump. I do cool/cold weather really well, but fall down when it comes to summer clothes. I went to Levi's a few weeks back and got fitted with their fit-to-curve jeans. They are fab and my legs and arse look amazing in them. But sometimes it's too hot for jeans, or they are in the wash, or I think I'd like a change.

Don't know what I am doing wrong, but everyone seems to waft and look effortlessly chic where I live. Whilst I look rumpled and messy. Material never wafts with me, it just seems to bunch and ride up. And I glow blue in direct sunlight, which doesn't help the overall picture.

Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong with cotton (or at any rate thinner material) skirts? Anything that's shorter than maxi length ends up riding up and forming a bunch in between my legs.

This is totally what I thought yesterday. Nominally back to pre many weight after DS2 but still wobbly - must fig out the shreds again.

But mostly its my clothes and bras (and skin). Have started drinking 2l of water a day but got a massive headache for the first few days. Lack of caffeine? Still that should at least help my skin right?

I wear the same pair of straight ish jeans all the time and yesterday I wore a lovely smock type top which in my mind is wafty and cool but actually just makes me look fat.

DH has been wittering about how I don't look my best in it but its my go to when I've eaten too much of the kids tea and am trying to hide it.

Well no more I tell you! First step was more water, next is getting back on the shred then smocks are being binned, new bras shopped for and the cull begins....

Cull before shopping. You must end up with fewer (but better) items.

Startail I posted a link to cropped jeans on the summer trousers thread. Similar-ish to the Whitestuff ones but a bit shorter. Very generously sized.

www.mandmdirect.com/01/details/OF739/Onfire-Womens-3-4-Length-Jeans-Navy

I would say that as a general rule, gently fitted items with some stretch in them are more flattering than wafty smock type things. This isn't always the case, although I do think that if you're wearing a wafty smock type thing then it will look best with slim, fitted trousers/jeans rather than wider-legged trews.

And vice versa - if I'm wearing a very fitted too I would probably wear it with a maxi skirt, linen trousers, boyfriend-type shorts or similar, rather than with super-skintight fitted trousers.

I do agree that a full-length mirror is a must, and also TOTALLY agree with HandMini's point re photos not being an accurate representation of how one really looks!

What the F can I do about shorts? I need some as (a) it's getting hotter please please please don't go away yet sun and (b) I spend all my time crawling round on floor with toddler / changing baby and so I flash my pants if I wear a skirt other than a maxi.

Shorts are an issue for me too. I have big hips and risk looking boxy. Haven't yet found the answer.

I have wide hips too. I feel like a barge on a canal as I squeeze through shop aisles.

Just painted my toenails blood red. I love Rimmel 60 seconds.

Visit the bra threads for some good info on nursing bras and measuring/fitting.

bought a rimmel 60 secs myself today Handmini - went for coral though on the advice of previous posters.

feeling a bit deflated after trying on the clothes i bought today in the harsh, truthful environment of my own bedroom. unfortunately i do have a full length mirror...

although everything i bought is nice and fits well, nothing hides the big loose muffin top that glares out from above the waistband. i never really used to have this but 2 kids later and its my worst enemy. i suppose thats why i too have favoured smock tops as i figure that look is preferable to a big spare tyre on show (which it it with anything fitted). i even bought special high waisted jeans but they just seem to push the bloody muffin top higher up!

will this just decrease with weight loss? any ideas how to blitz this area/dress to hide it without resorting to smock hell?

Ooh, if the coral is nice pls can you tell me what name/number it is....am going to treat myself to another 60 secs this weekend as my reward for three solid days of baby/toddler/visitors.

I have a muffin top as well, and there is no ideal situation other than losing it (which is my intention at some point) but until then, i plan to slightly display the muffin in fitted, but not too tight clothes, rather than just wear smocks/free flow fabrics over it. I think that's the lesser of two evils.

Go to your local college with a hairstyling and beauty therapy department. You can get excellent treatments and cuts for an absolute steal. The students are all supervised and are allocated according to their skill levels. You can feel a million dollars with a new cut and a facial/pedi/mani.

Buy some new make up, especially a good cream blusher (good for summer) some mascara and a summer lipstick shade. it need not be expensive. Look for 'buy one item, get another with it' deals run by Rimmel, Boots 17/7 etc...A complexion enhancer be it a CC cream or facial balm can help lift grey sleep deprived complexions.

Go to TK Maxx, leave the kids with a sitter and try on clothes that perhaps you'd not considered before. and if you like some, they will not break the budget.

Invest in really good underwear-proper pants that do not cut in or give VPL and a proper supportive bra. Go 1940-50's for old fashioned glamour.

Do your nails, buy a nicely cut and fitted white V neck T-the white can lift your complexion. Or get a vibrant shade that will go with a lot of items such as dark red, deep orange, blues or pinks.Worn with a fitted blazer/jacket and a (new) pair of straight leg jeans/trousers and an inexpensive pair of flat/thong/block heel sandals, you'll feel more pulled together. the blazer will look good with all manner of skirts, pants, city shorts and even dresses.

Go to New Look for disposable trend led items or Vera Moda for more classic interpretations of trends. Asda have a good cotton stretch jersey blazer for around £14. No pockets but still a good buy.

Check out the sale sites Cocosa.com, Theoutnet.com, BrandAlley for secondhand designer. Don't be put off by some of the high prices on there. You can pick up excellent jeans and trousers for high st prices and they'll last and make you feel cool too.

Oh and Bootcuts? They're on their way back. Don't chuck for now.

A good well made T shirt worn with a blazer over it will hide that muffin better then puffy baggy smock tops.

Also check your posture. Wearing a little heel will help you stand taller and sassier too.

And as Jax says- Get thee to Matalan. They have some gorgeous dresses, a little wafty to disguise that mid section you are conscious of. They also have some lovely silky tea dress styles in navy print. Very now.

Also I bought several of their thick cotton stretch tube/pencil/straight pull on skirts. They hold everything in, are streamlined and come in plain colours-black, grey marl, navy plus stripe, geometric print and olive green. They will look good, again with slouchy or fitted tops and tees and a blazer. Add any kind of sandal, pump or heel and they'll work with all kinds of clothes you already have. Long line sleek cardigans are another option.

Sorry if I'm repeating anything - haven't read the whole thread.
I am by no means stylish but I recently had a revelation, like you.
I have been to work today (where they are used to seeing a polished, professional pregnant version of me) for the first time since Ds2 was born 5 months ago. It was an important networking event so I couldn't afford to go looking a mess.
Usually I look like shit.

Skinny jeans and baggyish top (to hide huge boobs and baby belly) and brown boots.

The S & B threads on here have been amazing and I have managed to salvage something without losing lots of weight.

First of all I worked out what 'season' and 'colour' I am:

seasons

And my body shape.

And I've resolved to buy a few key, good quality pieces and build a wardrobe around them.

I also went for a skincare consultation (free one) as my skin is terrible now. I invested in new cleanser/toner and moisturiser and some new make up (and got loads of freebies too)

Yesterday I dyed my hair (to get rid of the greys), had my eyebrows threaded and had my hair cut. I filed my nails, used a whitening pencil under the tips and used a creamy/clear polish.
I also went to the dentist and had my teeth cleaned.

Today I look like a new person!
Honestly, people didn't recognise me. (A good thing, definitely!) :)

Just knowing my colours has changed the way I shop. I went in and immediately knew what would suit me and what wouldn't, which shortened the process and meant I haven't bought a load of stuff I won't wear.

If I can do it you can as I am really crap at shopping/style/etc.

My next phase is the shred which is still in its wrapper from when DS2 was 8 weeks old which will hopefully make things even better.

just been on the matalan website mignonette thanks - i really like the pencil skirts you mentioned, and only a tenner too, if im looking at the right ones? will be near a matalan next week so will try to run in and grab one.

Handmini the Rimmel is no 200 - called 'orange your life' - its what i would call coral anyway, i think its lovely :)

I can make my muffin top invisible by wearing quite loose fitting non VPL knickers, and a fit and flare dress. Nothing gets pushed up and out that way, IYSWIM.

It looks much better than any jeans and any top! Dresses can be the way to go, they are for me. Just bought a gorgeous LK Bennett jersey dress on e bay.

NumTum re shorts, have you ever tried denim ones that are close fitting but end just above the knee, cuffed ones are good. Do you know what I mean? They work well for the pear / hour glasses I know because you're not putting a band of denim around your widest point, iyswim. Below the knee also good if you don't like your knees (but stay out of 3/4 territory).

I have to sound a note of dissent re cheap jeans, I would say get a decent pair, it's hard when you want to lose weight, but I find that saying you'll wait til you've lost it to buy lovely things that make you feel good means you just don't lose the weight. It's funny.

Was wondering about your hair - what is your natural colour? am a big believer that most people look better close to their natural shade, so I would let it grow out if I were you. will also help with the condition.

I am trying to absorb lots of other good advice here! water I am crap at to busy eating galaxy

*darkish denim for the shorts

I LOVE this thread as a result of lurking I was called a yummy mummy today :) thanks all!

I agree with the second response. 30 ds!. I'm not high maintenance (nails, tan, roots, none of that!) but I do not let my weight go over nine stone (which for me is a bmi 22.5?) and I hope (?) that my hair is flattering. I buy fewer clothes these days. I never shop as an activity. I only buy things if I'm certain that they suit.

I have almost a decade on you and I don't feel frumpy so it's not hopeless! you can turn it round. Actually, the frumpiest I ever felt was at 35 when I had a baby and a toddler. Janey mackers..... So glad I'm in my forties with children who can cycle round the block and fix their own snacks! lol