Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

[NumTumDeDum]

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

Ahhh I feel your pain. I like NL skinnies because they're not drainpipes - more like slim straight-legs. But if you feel you suit bootcut better and are mre comfortable in them then definitely stick with them.

I find M&S best for vests and t-shirts (the former often from the underwear section - their supima ribbed cotton scoop neck vests are brilliant).

oh no numtum, ive been planning a new look trip myself, had high hopes after looking at the website. thin teenager i aint....

how I'm a size 18 in jeans and NL ones fit me perfectly and are not too tight and/or baggy

thanks will definitely go and have a look, really need some jeans. also all this talk of blazers has made me fall a bit in love with this one

I've now filled a big bag of clothes to go to charity shop tomorrow. Mix of things I've never worn, will not wear again or just worn to death.

So for the next 9 weeks I'm living in 2 pairs jeans, 2 yoga pants, 3 t-shirts (unless I borrow more from DH!), 1 hoody and 1 dress. Eeek!

Gap have 3 t shirts for price of 2. Miles better than M&S for colour.

I find long line cards the frumpiest of all. Oaisis have got some lovely colours which look fab over the Gap t shirts.

Next for cheap good shape skinnies, and cropped chinos.

Flip flops with coral or red toes.

I've now extended my charity bag to accesories. Amazing how many crap belts, scarves, necklaces and bags have built up. Plus I found some jewellery that is good enough to ebay but not my taste. And I've ditched my mum boots. You know the kind - black ankleboots with a small heel. Bleurgh.

Num, I'm so proud of you re the boots! Have your bootcut jeans gone as well?!

Loving this fred. My name is Ice and I am an ex-frump.

I'm de-frumped. A combo of post baby weight loss, 10 months of not wearing a suit every week day, getting into mumsnet plus a bit of time to think. I didn't realise quite how bad it was! So now the worst of the frump clothes are gone, I am onto level 3 of the shred (and loving MyFitnessPal too) and life is looking rosier.

There are two reasons I need this thread:

1. I fear the Frump tendency is in me and always will be. I need constant vigilance or I will slip into old ways.
2. I now own hardly any clothes, so I need to plan a new wardrobe. I own one pair of jeans and no other trousers. Tis a nice place to be but I'm a little daunted by the task!

Another frump here :( I've had the same hairstyle and makeup for 10 years, I am 3 stones overweight, and I recently wore IN PUBLIC some of my MIL's hand-me-downs because I can't get into my own clothes post baby. I'm 29 FFS! So as of tomorrow, I'm off to buy some new look skinny jeans and I'm starting the shred - just watched it on Youtube (does that count as day 1???!!).

Good luck NumTum and all the other frumps, please keep on with the tips for de frumping - I for one really need them!

Welcome all new frumps.

Status of bootcut jeans - debating keeping them for gardening. They are resting on top of the charity pile at the moment. Possibly may need a push, or maybe I should watch the cheese video again. Oh god no. I can't face it. Right talked myself into dumping them.

Have identified a further issue. I do not have a full length mirror. All I can see in my mirror is my shoulders and head. Can't help but feel the frump would have been identified a little earlier had I not just been guessing at what I look like. Debating a little trip to Ikea tomorrow to rectify that issue.

Do you think we should have some kind of Frump Confidential where we can post pics of our outfits and others can help us defrumpify them?

Mum boots and mid calf summer dresses stay. Frumpy they may be, but I can only wear, boots, trainers or sandals. court shoes of any sort hurt.

Dresses stay as they are cotton, cool and comfy. I m 45 and I don't have the legs for short short or the hight for a maxi dress.

If any one has seen any trousers like these [http://www.whitestuff.com/jeans-dept1000013_pg1/ white stuff ocean jeans]] with a £30 or less lable I will love you

Sorry, Don't buy a kindle fire it's text editing is awful
white stuff ocean jeans

Hmm. For those of you who did the shred, I was just looking at it online and thought I would start it, but did you do it in front of a mirror? I feel like I won't be able to tell if my legs are at 90 degrees or whatever unless I can see them. On the other hand I'm not at all sure I want to watch myself trying to do it, plus would have to unscrew the mirror from the wall every day and then I suppose put it back.

I don't do it in front of a mirror but I can see where you're coming from. But there is not much of it like that. I'd give it a bash if I were you, and see how you feel about needing a mirror then. DO NOT use lack of mirror as an excuse!

No, it's ok without mirror and I am v uncoordinated. Although its fast its repetitive so you get lots of practice at getting yourself into the right position etc.

Handi that's nice to hear, I didn't think about the repetitions, was only worried about the speed. Ice you're right, I can't think myself out of trying it! I think I will just go ahead.

I did also find a set of v. short videos like that explain how the positions work so might just go through them if I have a hard time. Have never really done anything but yoga before. But I have the 30-day shred bookmarked on youtube to start day 1 later!

NumTum I think a full-length mirror is a really good thing to have for noticing what works on me now vs. when I was younger. I tend to default to 90s fashions and have to sort of work my way out of there pretty often, which requires a mirror.

The thing is it can all be so confusing.

Like, yesterday I was wearing a Mint Velvet tunic with skinnies, I thought it looked nice when I looked in the mirror. Then at the station I got chatted up by a young guy ( 20s?) haven't I met you before? Wanno go clubbing on Friday ( I was so stunned I did not know what to say, am 41!).

Then later that evening a friend took some pics of me and put on facebook.... I look like a sack of potatoes! Fat, old and frumpy.

So is this outfit a winner or a loser....

How do I know?

I too need a full length mirror.

I'm v impressed by all those that fit in pedi every six weeks or so. I'm going to make that my mission. I think I'd feel way better about summer sandals that way.

Chandon - I don't think photos - a millisecond in time - are accurate. If you looked in a mirror and felt good, you looked good. In a mirror your face is mobile, clothes flowing, that's how you REALLY look to others.

Got dressed in 15 secs this morn - literally as DDs pick up arriving and had no time for shower or anything. BUT, denim skirt and white tshirt and I don't actually feel terrible. A week ago I would have been scrabbling round for something "interesting".

PS - what is the BIWI low carb diet? Sounds like sth I need to try. I love eggs and cheese and meat!