The Crepe Escape

[Cremolafoam]

We were getting to the end.

Impromptu over-night stay last night with Tunbridge Wells pal. Lovely day in the park, while our DSs frolicked together, then in their lovely garden, where much fun was had with a hosepipe. Then DELIVERY fish and chips for dinner, with rosé. Then the Apprentice. Poor Jason.

Bastard mirrored bathroom cabinet played a cruel trick on me this morning. With the doors apart, my reflection looked positively svelte. When I closed the doors, my width tripled. Now regretting the F&C.

DP returns from Sierra Leone tonight. Be nice to have him home - absence has indeed made the heart grow fonder.

And yes - BTM looked highly glam in her maxi dress.

Have just read the teen speak thread - hilarious. It's just starting round our way, and sooooo incongruous coming out of ds1, bless his little cotton socks.

Didn't manage to get out in the sun at all yesterday which seems to mean I have missed summer.

Hope you're having fun in Vienna, herbs.

The next time I hear the word 'proper' I am going to scream, Wilbur.

Second day of fasting. How come the weight isn't just dropping off , eh?

Today should be a fast day, but me toying dolefully with some broccoli doesn't seem a very festive way to greet DP back from his adventures.

Depends what you do with it, Herbs. I'm sure we could devise a suggestive Broccoli Scene to greet him with....

Merciful Lord.

Oh yes, proper - it's like some kind of weird Dickensian throwback. I have been known to mock ds1 just a little bit by greeting him with "You is proper peng, fam". Am expecting to be disowned any day now.

Herbs - have a gin and slimline tonic on an empty stomach and you'll be feeling uber-festive for DP and still within your 500 cals....

MI - know the feeling - I fasted yesterday and I did a Shred session first thing so why I haven't woken up looking like Keira Knightley, I do not know.

(I am quite getting into the working out how to maximise the 500cal limit, mind. The humble fish finger is a godsend.)

Shorts should be fine in the US - just make sure they are check so you fit in Looking much slimmer, of course!

Rubes, I bet you look fab in shorts

Sadly I have already shot my bolt, by having muesli for breakfast and a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. I reckon that's now over 500 cals.

I hadn't thought of fishfingers for the 5:2, but shall now. Other godsends include omelettes, ham, Ainsley Harriot cup-a-soups, miso soup, and anything involving lentils. I believe there are such things as 'calorie-free noodles', much spoken of over on the 5:2 threads, but fear they're just made of glue, or similar.

We are making cheesecake - I don't think my beer belly is going to drop off anytime soon. Probably 500 calories in one slice.

I can spot Americans in Paris a mile off in their checky shorts; .

Ruby I've got some longer shorts which I feel are respectable on a lady of my years . The short pair were wishful thinking and are now gracing the delicate behind of DD1.

I cannot wear shorts, due to having legs like two carrier bags full of porridge.

My shorts would be at least two sizes too big for DD!

Baked falafel another godsend.

DD1 is now taller than me and three stone lighter. And I am not that enormous, dammit. God it's no wonder my seven-stone-at-fattest mother gave me a few hangups about body size, innit.

It is a mother's job to be heavier than their daughter. Fact.

I've been browsing the sales online, but can't find anything of interest. Boo. What's the betting I'll decide that I really need a particular garment just as the sales finish?

Ruby, I love the Gigis but cannot wear that style at all, because the straight line down the foot draws attention to one's bunions. I do fancy some new sandals, though.

Aunt Flo is here too; having been away for the last 8 months she's making the most of her visit. Thank heavens for mattress protectors...grrrr...

We left a fledgling alone once and it disappeared to be replaced by a very smug looking cat. The children were really upset. It's very difficult but next time I will try to do the same as you Rubes.

By the way - I remember being shocked at some of the people who managed to pour themselves into shorts in the US. Whatever you wear, I'm sure you'll look very glam.

Oh rubes you saved a baby robin.!!
That's pleased me enormously.
I have been watching 6 blue tit chicks fledge today. Mum and dad Tit had got them placed on branches around our bird feeder and were feeding their little beaks all morning. I had to subtly distract grey murderous cat with apocalyptic thoughts by offering crunchies rolled in catnip.
Cat is still ( at this hour) sitting under the bird table looking up casually licking her whiskers.

I haven't worn shorts since I went inter- railing about 30 years ago. Should I get with the shorts again?
Rather than porridge-leg , I have lilac-leg which is a particularly Irish trait when you're skin is so pale and splodgy it actually iridesces at dusk.

I had the most beautiful brown linen shorts I used to wear to work in the 80s - I'd need the width of both legs for one leg now.....
I am not a shorts person, I do don't have good knees and have tennis players calves...

Random text from dp
Subject: tandoori
Body text: ...dead at 51, ...such a waste

I stared at this bleary eyed and somewhat sloshed on Wednesday night thinking "If you eat tandoori you die at 51?!" And other such thoughts.....

I realised after a peruse at the news it was Gandolfini! Bloody autocorrect...

Bd