I'm chunky, lumpy, small and frumpy

[bloatedpickle]

and hitting the big 40. I'm stuck in a rut, have recently put some weight on and I've also been short of money for the past couple of years which has caused my disgraceful wardrobe situation and complete lack of confidence. I'm also a short arse (5'3), have a massive bottom, huge thighs, a wobbly belly and cankles. I know, I sound gorgeous don't I? [hmmm]. Trying to think positively, I do like my arms and have a waist.

I usually wear long tunic style tops with skinny jeans and boots/ballerina flats, but its my work wear that I need help with. Think "boring, old fashioned frump" - that's me! Black bootcut trousers and Next tops. I need help!

I avoid shopping and tend to buy online, try, cry and return.

Please help me to look slimmer, younger and not break the bank??

I'm dreading the warmer weather. I also walk into work which means I've been wearing shorter wider frumpier trousers, which in turn means I can't wear heels (half-mast)...unless I get changed, which means two outfits.

Am I a lost cause?

I feel gross, but working on the weight issue, need to lose a stone.

Where do I start?

At least your arms are ok. Mine are like a sumo wrestlers, despite bloody crosstrainer

And you have a waist. Faints.

I am also pear shaped and I find that I look good in skirts (a-line suit me), slim fitting tops/shirts and long boots or heels. If you are walking to work, just wear trainers with your work shoes in a rucksack.

Actually you sound exactly the same as my friend although she needed to loose more than a stone). I bumped into a few years ago an she had turned into a size 10 and was wearing a fab jacket.

We keep in touch on Facebook and she is still looking amazing. So don't think you will always have to be the shape you are.

Why don't you wear longer trousers just made of summer type materials. Then you can wear low wedges which are v comfy to walk in ( I did over 5 miles in esperdrille type ones). Nice top to show off those arms.

I know it's not the style advice you asked for- but are you able to perhaps join Weight Watchers and a cheap local council gym if you are unhappy with your perceived chunky, lumpy and frumpiness? I'm sure the wise fashionistas of S&B will come along and link you to some fabulous wrap dresses that nip you in at the waist- but will a style overhaul address the problem with your lack of body confidence?

I speak from bitter experience, and I'm sorry if I'm projecting those experiences onto you- I didn't feel any better when I blew a load of money on some fabulous clothes with a personal shopper, got home and realised that the clothes were beautiful- but I wasn't happy with the size on the label...

Please no wrap dresses.

Hi My colleague and I run a company in Sussex which is all about helping women like you are describing. We have set up a studio and offer colour consultations, style consultations, wardrobe sorts, shopping days. There are small steps that can totally change the way you look and the way people look at you. You need to start with a capsule wardrobe, Key pieces that can be mixed and matched. 2/3 Camisoles that can go under a top. If you have a waist then use it make sure your tops finish nearer the waist than on your widest part of the body. If your top is pulled down and finishes on your bottom/thighs and your lower half is a different colour then the break in the two colours is the area everyone will see. Don't dress what you don't want people to look at. Don't wear a long necklace that comes down between your boobs if you don't want people looking at them. Don't keep things for best there are not enough opportunities to wear them, if it goes in the washing machine wear it! Something that costs £80.00 but you wear all the time is a bargain but something that costs £50.00 brought for a special occasion but is worn once is not cost efficient. You are in your work clothes for many hrs a week so spending a bit extra on a few key pieces will end up being a bargain! Sorry I will stop rambling now. Good luck.

I think you're right Euro I do need to deal with the weight issue, or I'll never feel comfortable.

Thanks everyone, some good tips here .

I've been looking online, mainly Wallis, Dotty P's and Next...where else can I look?

Shopping List so far : low wedges, vests/camisoles, A-line skirts, fitted tops, dainty jewellery

On line...try Marisota, SImply Be, La Redoute, Bon Prix, Curvissa, Zalando....all good for those of us who are not as small as we might like to be. All also not too pricey. Do google for voucher codes - there are often ones out there!