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Original poster

In total panic and despair..

46 replies

TheFantasticFixit · 05/04/2013 23:38

Oh please help. I'm crying as I write this..

I'm getting married in 4 weeks. Made the fatal mistake 6 months ago of buying a vintage dress that I needed to slim 2 sizes into. I've only slimmed down 1. Now a 14 from a 16. Ordered a couple more dresses from Ghost but they had to be dyed to order so delayed receiving them/ trying on : until today, and both look absolutely horrific. I have arms that a butcher would rub their hands in glee at and after having a baby a year (or so) ago I still have a bit of a tummy. So the upshot of today was more Ready for the Abbotoir than Ready to Wear.

I'm a total and utter Bridal Failure. How on earth have I got myself into this nightmare? Any shop I call tells me it's too small a time frame to help. I desperately need something slightly informal with
LONG sleeves, perhaps a v neck and something going on that means I don't look 4 months pregnant.

Oh god. I fear I'm quite frankly fucked with a capital F.

OP posts:
NomDeOrdinateur · 05/04/2013 23:47

Don't panic, there's plenty of time. And please don't give yourself such a hard time, you've done a great job to slim down even one size and it will make finding an off-the-peg dress much easier!

Any preferences for colour and/or dress length? Do you want a veil/tiara? Quirky shoes or traditional? Would a jacket/cardigan be an acceptable alternative to long sleeves?

UnbridledPositivity · 05/04/2013 23:48

First of all: calm down, love. Smile

Remember this, whatever you end up wearing: you will be the bride, therefore everyone will think you look stunning anyway.

Not sure about specific dresses, and I'm sure more regular frequenters of S&B will be far more knowledgeable than me. But - will you have a bouquet? You could just hold it in front of your tummy all day... What about the colour of the dyed-to-order dresses - is that ok? If so, what about a shrug/shawl of some kind? It's still a bit chilly anyway, so it would make sense to cover your arms.

Other than that... how about sparkly/attention-grabbing accessories in strategic places to distract from the bits that you're uncomfortable showing too much of?

To be honest, your wedding dress is such a big thing, it's an agonising decision and you would probably question your choice and whether it'll look exactly right whichever way you feel about your body.
You could always do what I did and marry pregnant. Grin

LadyWidmerpool · 05/04/2013 23:54

Monsoon have some nice ones:
m-uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_4,mon_4.1/3530574616 for example. I wore a Monsoon dress, I was very happy with it.

NomDeOrdinateur · 05/04/2013 23:55

How about this?

legalalien · 06/04/2013 00:01

I know this is in style and beauty, but just want to disagree with other posters - your wedding dress is actually NOT a big thing. Getting married is. hold that thought.

For myself, I got married in a white trouser suit that i chose in 15 mins max. So i may not be the best judge.

tethersend · 06/04/2013 00:02

What's your budget?

What colours do you like?

I'm assuming full length?

MrsBungle · 06/04/2013 00:03

I'm sure you have thought about this, but your vintage dress - could it be let out a bit by a professional seamstress? Most clothes have a bit of room for a let out, don't they?

Otherwise, monsoon have some lovely dresses.

Try not to panic, you poor thing. I shall go and look for some too.

GrandPoohBah · 06/04/2013 00:10

Vintage stuff tends to have deep seams so don't despair yet; a seamstress may be able to let it out a bit and then put in a corset style back to make it fit.

Alternatively, try BHS, monsoon, coast, etc. also, speak to local wedding dress shops - they may know of some sample sales, and look up berketex brides wedding dress sales, they often have some good deals.

tigerdriverII · 06/04/2013 00:11

If you are desperate to get into your original dress, you just have to eat cabbage soup for the four weeks. Do you think that that will do it?

UnrequitedSkink · 06/04/2013 00:16

You can lose a dress size in 4 weeks you know - sensible diet and The Shred. I did it (12 to a 10). Don't despair, all is n

UnrequitedSkink · 06/04/2013 00:17

Not lost! Bloody phone.

UnrequitedSkink · 06/04/2013 00:18

Actually, if you want a diet and exercise buddy for the next month, I'll do it! I need the motivation. :)

Original poster
TheFantasticFixit · 06/04/2013 00:19

Oh you lovely, lovely people! I'm really crying now at your amazing kindness! Wine for you all!

I would prefer actual sleeves to a shrug etc, and ideally floor length. Very tempted to hold a bouquet in front of me for the whole day but suspect people may start to wonder if I'm disguising a bump!! Almost tempted to actually BE pregnant just to have an excuse.. (Only half joking)

I'm actually totally open to the colour. I almost bought a navy dress earlier out of sheer shame but the colour has stuck with me. I've had a baby pre our wedding so obviously the whole white 'virgin bride' dress is a bit of a stretch when my gorgeous DD will obviously be there!

I love the monsoon suggestions. I'm going to run to Monsoon tomorrow and try them on!

As for shoes, I've already got those.. They are the Coast Nikki shoe in blue (something blue) I would like a veil I think.. But honestly, I'd wear anything that doesn't make me look like a pregnant sausage right now nd so the veil is the least of my priorities.

I've just seen on Phase Eight the Evelyn dress (sorry I don't know how to do links!). I'm just a bit worried that the lace might be a bit on the matronly side. Any thoughts?!

Thanks
OP posts:
cheeseandpineapple · 06/04/2013 00:38

The phase eight one is stunning, really beautiful. The Carlotta, Monsoon one is really lovely too. So many gorgeous off the peg choices these days.

Are you getting your hair and make up done on the day? I indulged and it was so worth it, I wasn't too happy with my dress but professional make up and hair made me feel fab.

A friend swore by spanx on her wedding day, again not really around when I got married but might be worth trying to see what gives you the best silhouette.

I've never tried any spanx but thinking of trying out the booty booster as my bum seems to be sliding down my legs.

www.mytights.com/gb/brand/spanx.html

Original poster
TheFantasticFixit · 06/04/2013 00:50

Yes! I have spanx so will fish those out of the drawer! I'm going to try the Evelyn as well then. Thank you everyone but please don't stop with the suggestions! I'm so grateful for your help.

Tethers: budget is about 1k I think - perhaps a little more for the right dress. I guess preferably ivory and yes definitely floor length.. I think!

LegalAlien: I'm not sure why you might think I don't realise the most important thing about our marriage is well, the marriage. After 5 years together I can assure you that my relationship is absolutely the priority here in this wedding but that doesn't mean I can't fret about what in the world I'm going to wear! Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
TheFantasticFixit · 06/04/2013 00:52

Cheese - yes am having hair and make up done so that's lovely to hear hat it really gave you a boost on the day! I'm definitely going to try both the Carlotta and the Evelyn this week. Will let you know how I get on Thanks

OP posts:
cheeseandpineapple · 06/04/2013 01:45

Exciting! Maybe take the spanx with you and try them on with and without it, just to see if it makes a worthwhile difference?

A friend was getting married a couple of months after me and after she saw my transformation by the make up artist she booked one for her wedding! Do they offer a trial run for your hair and make up before the big day?

Looking and feeling as wonderful as you can on your wedding day is completely the rule, sounds like you were the exception, Alien, although I'm sure a crisp white trouser suit would have looked very chic and stylish!

BinksToEnlightenment · 06/04/2013 01:56

You will be fine. Keep dieting and your fingers crossed, but also get a back up dress that you've tried on. How about taking a trip to monsoon in your spanx and trying some off the peg?

K8Middleton · 06/04/2013 01:58

Spanx and a shit load of exercise. I'd also go veggie and cut out carbs (this means you automatically up your intake of more healthy foods but also shift some weight). Don't bother with low fat foods because you need a bit of fat. And cut out the booze. If you just did spanx, exercise and no booze you could get into your original dress in 2 weeks and have 2 weeks spare i reckon.

Good luck!

FairPhyllis · 06/04/2013 02:12

Just to cover all the bases - Coast has no fewer than 4 knee length blue dresses with sleeves:

www.coast-stores.com/elsa-lace-dress/dresses/coast/fcp-product/2143431970

butterfliesinmytummy · 06/04/2013 02:22

You can wear 2 pairs of spanx you know (or m&s versions etc). Adele does and apparently it's twice as effective Wink

butterfliesinmytummy · 06/04/2013 02:25

And omg, love the Vivianna dress from coast....

Original poster
TheFantasticFixit · 06/04/2013 02:36

Oh I really like some of those Coast dresses!!

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Untold+Cap+sleeve+beaded+gown/173478540,default,pd.html#BVRRWidgetID

What do you think of this? I have tried it in the formation of the sequins is very flattering. I just didn't know whether it was elegantly bridal at the time so dismissed it but am now thinking of it again. Any thoughts?

(I'm so shit at links that if it doesn't work it's Untold Cap sleeved beaded gown)

OP posts:
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