pre Party quick fixes please

[Cybbo]

Am out on razzle tonight

Heavy cold, puffy under eyes, flaky (but greasy) open pored skin, dark shadows, torn cuticles, flaky lips

IM QUITE THE CATCH . I've got the house to myself so what shall I do

OI

Aw cyb, feeling shit and being ignored...

Tackle your brows and do your nails and have a multi vitamin tab.

Cucumber on your eyes, gentle brushing of your lips with an old toothbrush to get rid of flakes then slather in vaseline / olive oil.

Facial scrub?

face pack ON
Hair dye ON
Will tackle ropey nails next....fuck this is hard work

Am revisiting freezing cold tea bags , have no cucumber

You're sexy.
Try Christian's pile gel tip

Go to nail place. Fake tan. Oil on hair

While you're here, what can I do about a mahoosive spot brewing on my chin - going out in 3 hours.....

Toothpaste? Do you have any benzoyl peroxide?

I only remembered pile gel tip after I'd come home from Boots gnashes teeth

DON'T squeeze spot Leopard and that's rich coming from me, queen of the squeezers

am about to apply tea bags pre slap

I know I shouldn't but it is very tempting, either that or a good poke with a needle.

Shower, cleanse, tone (cold water will do), moisturise.

Apply very large quantities of make up, preferably skilfully , and blow dry hair.

Drink big glass of wine and put on your glad rags while listening to some cheery music.

Note that from experience I recommended wine after the make up....

A lot of make up, bright lipstick and as many sequins as you can muster.

Glass of prosecco before you leave.

And have fun!

Stand in the darkest part of the room and show you are there by your tinkling laugh ?

Oh poor cyb.

Can you not wear a veil over your face like an 80'd fashion throw-back? Or pretend you're in mourning?

CUT YOURSELF A KATE-MIDDLETON-OF-THE-ROAD FRINGE?