Crepeys do Christmas...

[oldqueenie]

Will this fit the bill. Dull but seasonal?

CV am ROFLing at that Excellent story!

DH had the DC at home today (despite the school being open, it sounds like half the school didn't go in...) and made them work all morning before they went out sledging. The joys of having teachers for parents!

CV

I just weighed myself

I am surprised the Eurostar could fit me in.

Still RoFLing at CV's story

Glad to hear the dog's still alive ruby!

Join the club, MI!

Excellent story, CV....bet that livened up their boring conference call good news about your dog, Ruby.

It's a good time of year to hide away a few extra Parisian pounds, MI... At least you enjoyed adding them.. I hate the pounds that just appear with no provocation.

Ruby good news re dog!
MI that is precisely why I do not step on the scales.....
I am hoping for a full compliment of staff today.

Question crepeys I have monumental screwed my career largely due to a humongous lack of self confidence and am concerned that ds might 'inherit' this. Any tips on how I can parent him do this doesn't happen?

Glad the dog is still alive, Ruby.

MI - did we eat and drink that much?

I am back on the champagne and canapes diet...

Blackduck - is lack of confidence something that came from your childhood? My mother always used to say to me "Who's going to look at you?" and "Don't boast, no-one's interested in your good grades" which didn't help. I also think women suffer from Imposter Syndrome - I frequently think I have been overpromoted and will be found out and demoted instantly. I have an interview for a job on Friday and keep thinking "I can't do that, it's much too grown up and difficult for me." Yet I see other people, who are, frankly, not that bright, and get promoted way beyond their abilities, simply because of their confidence that they have the ability to do something.

I am determined never to say either of those things to the DDs, and to praise their efforts. The school has helped, by being positive too.

Ooh yes, I have a crippling quantity of imposter syndrome. Constantly think someone's going to unmask me, and point out my inadequacies to the world. Which n more senior than me.

Boiler has broken. Again. Not a good day for it. And DP woke me at 6 to tell me the joyful news, so also knackered.

In S&B news, bought a bargainacious cashmere cardi from Uniqlo, in a medium. Arrived last night and it's vast. Makes me look about 60, and 16 stone. Lovely colour though. I shall purchase a small, and see how that works. Though fear it's the typical Uniqlo tube-shape, and thus is never going to be hugely flattering.

BD, I think finding activities that your DS is good at and then encouraging him to take them as far as poss is good for building self-confidence. Pushing him just a little bit and then getting him to push himself to try to do that bit more. Achieve the most he can.

I have known many children who have really changed in terms of confidence as a result of this - feel the fear and do it anyway!

It may also be that he gets his sense of self from academic achievements, but it is always good to have other stuff too!

And of course the other really important thing is the parents praise and support, etc, which I am sure you are really good at

Isn't there that research that now says you shouldn't do blanket praise for generally being clever, etc, as that can almost be counter-productive, but praise effort instead. Or something.

I really did LOL at CV's story .

Ruby, I'm very glad to hear that your hound has recovered from the cake binge.

I am spending a lot of time standing in freezing halls staring at teenagers this week, so of course I suddenly have lots of work coming in from my "proper" job. There is some gremlin somewhere that is getting a lot of joy from organising this stuff..

My dcs are both relatively academically able and also terrible slackers. Thus I have learnt only to praise when they make an effort and/or show some incentive. They are also both hugely stubborn and contrary. Sometimes even if you find things that a child is good at, it doesn't mean they will do them. I'm afraid I spent several years forcing dd to do all sorts of extra-curricular things just so she could get some sense of achievement to build on. She was good at lots of things (sailing, piano, art, languages), but didn't have enough confidence or motivation to do it unless forced to. When left to her own devices, she sat in her room and stared at the wall.

It has been (and continues to be) a long journey of the two steps forward, one step back variety, but I am now hopeful that her confidence is gradually growing. She has finally realised that she really is good at certain things and the only way to move forward is to a) practice and b) take some risks. The overall outlook is currently hopeful. She has many of the same personality flaws that I do, but I am hoping that she is learning to live and work with them in a more constructive manner than I ever did at her age.

MrsS yes lack of confidence comes from childhood. I was always 'different' and that wasn't a problem until I changed schools at 13 and had a hideous time. But I also come from a family that is very able but where everyone seems crippled by shyness and insecurity so whether they meant to do it or not I grew up feeling I couldn't or shouldn't. So I have underplayed and undersold myself. Also I look for approval far too much, this is in distinct contrast to dp who cares very little what anyone thinks of him (there are few people's opinions he actual seeks or takes notice of).
Basket case hey

What is all this about personality flaws, eh Stropps??????
We are all different and we should celebrate that! And we are all growing and changing all the time.

Herbs, yes yes to praise where it's due and for specific things, especially effort!

ruby, sounds like me and my DH.

BD are you married to my DH?

Have job interview on Friday. AB expressed surprise that I had been shortlisted for interview bastard. I have true imposter syndrome here - keep thinking the job is far too demanding and hard work and far too senior for me. I also have the problem that I want the job I have an interview for in a couple of weeks time more than this one, so am looking at this one as a "practice" for the job I do want. But if they offer it to me, I think I will have to take it - bird in hand and so on. Plus it would mean I would outrank AB.

Has anyone mentioned to you, MrsS, that your boss is an arse? Just thought it worth mentioning.

My children are, ahem, not lacking in confidence.

Well MrsS I think you are doing a bloody good job as an imposter!! I do know what you mean though - except I would never have applied for the job! I work with all these bright young things who are forging brilliant careers and am now thinking 'I am twice as clever as you and I wasted it' Grrr...makes me so mad.

Please MrsS you have to get the job and film yourself telling AB so we can all see his face :)

BTM - I take it your DH is like my dp then? Can I point out he isn't arrogant at all, it's just others opinions don't matter

Yes, BD - not arrogant, but not bothered what others think.

MrsS go girl! And if they offer it, can you ask if you would be allowed a couple of weeks grace to consider it? You could make up something about the impact on your family....?

Limping behind here, I do check in on my phone when I can but adding a message by phone is just too slow and inaccurate to bear.

Glad to hear Ruby's dog is better, mine has had a couple of chocolate-related visits to the vet and they were very expensive. And at MI and MrsS living it up in Paris.

I S&B news, I'm in fleece-lined dog-walking trousers, multiple layers, scarf and hiking boots and I'm staying that way, even for work, till it warms up. Had to dig my car out in the middle of the day yesterday after parking on a street that hadn't been cleared. Pavements are really treacherous round here too, Mum has been housebound since snow started.

Oooh, BTM, I wonder if I could stall on school ishoos? I do feel a bit better about the job now, and am approaching it "like a man" - ie do I think I can do half of what it involves? Yes? Well go for it then. I really like the person who would be my new boss, too. And part of me feels that with the other job, they were supposed to interview before Christmas, which would have been great. Not two bloody months later.

MrsS, that's exactly what I meant!

Yes, good luck for Friday MrsS, though not that you'll need any luck

Oh yes, the 8th is 2 1/2 weeks away! Shall I book a table? Just double checking on the numbers -

BTM
Beachy
Strops
Herbs
CV
Ruby
MI
Old Queenie
BD?

Have I forgotten anyone?