Fancy a challenge? Help me find something to wear...please.

[BassaiDai]

(N.B. On proof reading this before posting I realise its a very long self indulgent moan, but if you could be bothered, I would appreciate you reading on and offering any suggestions you may have)

I am supposed to be going out on Saturday night to a good friends birthday.

Only supposed to be because I could quite happily turn around and say I'm not going. I feel so shit about the way I look and my serious lack of suitable clothes. However a friend has insisted on babysitting for me and told me I need to go to lift my spirits. (Lone working parent to 3, no input from Dad, no family locally so I never do anything without children in tow, or just for me.)

I haven't been out for 2 years and so I feel really nervous about it, without feeling shit about the way I look too. Will I be able to remember how to socialise? What if I am steaming after a ridiculously small amount of drink?I used to be out all the time pre dc and used to be able to hold a decent amount of alcohol, but priorities change.

So can you help me find something to wear, that can be delivered by Friday? I haven't got time to shop between now and then due to work and other commitments.

I am a size 18, pear shape, black hair, pale skin in my mid 30's. My usual clothes are black trousers and a top for work days. Bleached/stained t-shirts and jeans on my non working day. I also struggle to find nice shoes to fit which I find limits what I can wear. I cannot wear pastel colours, if its not black or white it needs to be a strong colour, eg fuchsia pink, strong turquoise etc. Budget, £50 ish.

My wardrobe is rubbish, I have so little in it, and what is in it is all faded/bleached/bobbly etc. Its mostly black and white so it would be nice to introduce some colour. I haven't even got a bra that fits me properly ffs! I am determined to start rectifying this and looking after me better but it will be done over time rather than immediately, due to lack of funds, so I would really appreciate your help in starting the process.

Looking forward to your wisdom shining through...

Ok, be brave, it might be fun..tho know what you mean

Is it meal and out? Or party? ASOS usually has good choice, and reliable next day delivery, but need to know type of occasion

It's starting as a pub crawl, potentially end up in a club. But will all be 'proper adults' as opposed to 18 yr olds iykwim.

I know it may be fun, but if I don't feel ok about what I am wearing I know I will end up bawling my eyes out in the loos all night. (Bitter experience)

I've just realised I don't even know what people wear to the pub anymore! In my day, you just turned up in whatever you had been wearing that day. And even if I did know, I am so out of touch, I wouldn't know what shop to go looking for it in.

I have previous for cancelling cos feel fat, old and frumpy!

But: asos curve have lots of nice dresses( skater style, not ott but flattering?)

Thick tights/leggings, plain boots or shoes?

Skater style...??
Will google that and asos.

I have 2 possible pairs of shoes. The first are knee high boots, high heel, very pointy toes, (bought 2 years ago for my last night out, are they unfashionable now?) Not comfy to walk in at all.

The second are a pair of very high platform type sandals. Black suede type with thick criss cross straps. I personally think they look like whore shoes, but when Iwore them for a hen night, I wore then for 8 hrs and was amazed that I didn't want to take them off. I'll try and find a pic to give you an idea.

Like this but black suede, and instead of having one strap across the toes it has the 2 black straps crossing over each other like the bit around the ankle.

This is lovely.

And this (can you tell I like lace?!)

I like them dexter. Not available in size 18 though. I love the burgundy colour but prefer the cut of the black one. Although to be honest I have no idea what would actually suit my body shape.

Like both those dresses.

Your shoes might be bit much with a dress for pub crawl? Shoeaholics have great bargains on nice shoes...

Not that yours aren't nice, I hasten to add! They are gorgeous in fact. But I'd feel too dressed up with them and dress.

Right, well get you sorted. No worries. I'd go with your stripper shoes I think, comfy is good and we can de-stripper them easily, I think. Could you pop them on with your black work trousers for a mo? Am most interested to know if it works at all.

What size bra do you need. I have made it my mission to find outfit and bra for 50 - 60 max .

So, do you have black leggins or footless tights? Do you have an evening bag at all? Any jewelery hanging about? Anyone you could borrow accessories from?

How about wearing them with trousers? And get a nice top? I am a trouser person really. Due to chunky legs and shoe issues. I dont have feet I have hooves. FACT! Shoe shopping is worse than jeans shopping for me.

Thank you for your time, I need to do some stuff for tomorrow, back in a bit.

Just a moment to late with my last post, I fear.

So. Assuming you have no accessories at all:

work trousers
black shoes

this top
bag
bracelet
red lippy
= 35 (damn-good-bra budget left)

Too bright?

work trousers & black shoes again

this top (with this under)
bag
earrings
= 34.5

Too girly?

(next day delivery = 4.90 IIRC)

Oh, second set gone wappy

wrong earrings, here
forgot the lippy
= 37.50

mrslettuce your work is done. Outfit number one is so lovely I think I might have to pop down to New Look for that very top. BassaiDai you will look lovely.

I like the second top- would also look good with jeans. Definitely go, after all, the worst that can happen is you don't look trendy- and do you really care?

Na, one last try: reto-ish

trew en shoos again

this
this - tied thus (chiffon fall much better)
bag
bracelet
red lippy (nooo, I'm not hinting )
red nails
= 43 (I think)

Oh wow!

Mrs Lettuce yes cross post sorry, but obviously great minds think alike.
So trousers and stripper shoes it is then.

Somehow, accessory wise I have a few bits that will work depending on the top. I buy them to wear to work as imo they are a cheap way of making a plain t-shirt/black trousers more dressy.

I love the first top but would have chosen the pink one, despite the fact that blue suits me too. I would never have picked an orange bag to go with it but can see it works. Red lippy I have in the back of the drawer from a freebie set in boots.

In your second top link I like the whiter butterfly one on the same page, would that be dressy enough do you think?

Bra size I have no idea! The one I am currently wearing, (my best one) does not fit right at all. Tight on the back, too big on the cups, but boob spillage under the cup, shocking fat overhang under armpits. And the straps constantly fall down. I bought it before I got pregnant with my 3rd child. She starts school tomorrow! How have I let it get this bad? I have even contemplated getting them genie bras on the shopping channel.

My friend, the birthday girl, has just phoned. When I explained my predicament she offered to lend me some tops. She described one as being plum velvety wrap top, with half lace sleeves. Thoughts?

When I had nice clothes, that was a style that suited me. So if it does fit then I will make time to go bra shopping on Friday. Kids and all. If it doesn't fit then I will go to New Look and see if the blue top is in. New Look is more accessible for me than popping into town. But i would never have chosen half the stuff you have suggested. Mrs Lettuce, please can you move in and become my own personal GokWan?

And I hereby vow to sort all this out. Tentatively looking at the 100 days to princess challenge.

Oh my god, I love love love that last outfit. Esp with my stripper shoe and red nails.

Seriously Mrs Lettuce, please move in....

That neck scarf...is there a way to keep the knot to one side?
I am convinced I would spend the night adjusting it, hence removing the allure that I am comfortable in my clothes.

It's my pleasure - am distracting myself after freaking out trying to find a bra (used to be a bra fitter and things are so nutty down there I can't get a good fit )

Newlook let you order into store free, so, do do that or you'll not get to try 1/2 of waht you want. They do bras too you know. If you give me your measurements (under bust & over bust) I can give you a starting size to work from.

twas the pink top I wanted to link ot but no 18 unfortunately. If you can try in store a smaller size may well work. Same bracelet as with the blue, this bag?

The wrap top may well be good, but you know, I think it'd be good for you to wear something you've chosen, even if it's not precicely what you'd have wanted IYSWIM.

Oh, and don't forget to spend the delivery costs you save on sweets responsible entertainment to distract DC while you try stuff on

OK, bra situation sounds fairly critical and will make a huge difference to how you feel so is worth sorting. Do you have a measuring tape and we can give you an idea where to start?

(btw, I actually think from the fit you described it's probably too big in the back even though it feels tight)

Oh, x posts.

I wear scarves like that a lot. The chiffon ones just stay put - I fold the edges into the middle so it ends up half it's original width. Seam side against the skin and tie in a reef knot. Vey naice.