Fancy a challenge? Help me find something to wear...please.

[BassaiDai]

(N.B. On proof reading this before posting I realise its a very long self indulgent moan, but if you could be bothered, I would appreciate you reading on and offering any suggestions you may have)

I am supposed to be going out on Saturday night to a good friends birthday.

Only supposed to be because I could quite happily turn around and say I'm not going. I feel so shit about the way I look and my serious lack of suitable clothes. However a friend has insisted on babysitting for me and told me I need to go to lift my spirits. (Lone working parent to 3, no input from Dad, no family locally so I never do anything without children in tow, or just for me.)

I haven't been out for 2 years and so I feel really nervous about it, without feeling shit about the way I look too. Will I be able to remember how to socialise? What if I am steaming after a ridiculously small amount of drink?I used to be out all the time pre dc and used to be able to hold a decent amount of alcohol, but priorities change.

So can you help me find something to wear, that can be delivered by Friday? I haven't got time to shop between now and then due to work and other commitments.

I am a size 18, pear shape, black hair, pale skin in my mid 30's. My usual clothes are black trousers and a top for work days. Bleached/stained t-shirts and jeans on my non working day. I also struggle to find nice shoes to fit which I find limits what I can wear. I cannot wear pastel colours, if its not black or white it needs to be a strong colour, eg fuchsia pink, strong turquoise etc. Budget, £50 ish.

My wardrobe is rubbish, I have so little in it, and what is in it is all faded/bleached/bobbly etc. Its mostly black and white so it would be nice to introduce some colour. I haven't even got a bra that fits me properly ffs! I am determined to start rectifying this and looking after me better but it will be done over time rather than immediately, due to lack of funds, so I would really appreciate your help in starting the process.

Looking forward to your wisdom shining through...

yy, agree about the bra fit. sounds like it's zooming so high up the back it feels tight wilst tipping norkage out the bottom. Emergency Level 1 bra situation, I'd say.

I AM going to order it into store and hopefully invest in a bra once there.
You are absolutely right that I need the boost of buying something.
I am sure I have a bracelet that will work well with the black top/scarf. Its black glass type, wide, with white flowers.

Bag wise, I have a black satin type clutch, bought for a wedding, reckon that will be ok, or should I have a white one to brighten the outfit?

I may have a look while I am there and see what they have. Once I have the clothes I enjoy the accessory shopping.

Off to measure myself, the building won't look right if the scaffolding isn't right!

Ps, please can you explain what you 'weren't' hinting at re the red lippy?

Wrapping the scarf twice - thus of once works well too.

Just wear it at home a bit first. I don't find em faff inducing, quite comfotinhg actually

Bust measurements
Under bust=38.5
Around nipples 41.5/42 depending on how tight it should be pulled?

NB they are very spaniel ear like, or like a sock with beans in, all the substance has fallen the bottom of them. The last time I went to M&S the woman gave up before finding one that fitted well. Hence not buying one, and ending up in this Emergency Level 1! [love it]

Measure FIRMLY under bust, and overbust looser - if you have a well fitting bra, measure in that - but judging by your previous comment and alternative is to bent forward without a bra on and measure with thing hanging down - elegant, no!

Based on those measurements, 38D is a start point. But check again with the notes from my last post.

Sc thank you, I did measure tighter under and looser over. I will start at 38D and take it from there.

Starting to look forward to a night out now...

Emergency Level 1, ha! Can we create a chart of bra fitting threat levels- it would need to encompass Major Quadraboob, Nipple escapage.....

Bra - 38 c or d I'd say but I don't think you've measured right. As stats says, bra on is best. Am spaniel-ear breasted too and come out at 3 cup sizes bigger than I need if I measure bra less and bent over. Horrid. Just get your bra on as best you can, jiggle and fluff, then measure. I'll give a range of sizes for you to try 'cause you'll nedd to anyway.

bracelet sounds very good, better thsn the pinks. I was going to suggest this but it's a bit too full on. Needs the white bag I think, could be too funereal otherwise.

There's a deep red version of the same top that'd be good with your black bag bracelet. BLack and white might be nicer though.

lipstick - more insisting than hinting

Watch the video on the Bravissimo website of a fitting - it shows how tight the back should be, what cups should fit like etc. One thing it doesn't really show which is absolutely essential, is the joys of scooping. Once you have the bra on, bend forward, put your hand round under the opposite armpit (and possibly about halfway round your back if you are like me) and full all the escaping tissue forward in to the cups.

P.S. would agree bent over isn't the best (although strangely accurate for me) but it is better than bar chested standing up! I remember measuring a bad bra wearing friend - in her case it was quad boob and I really didn't know which bump to measure- the one in the bra, or the one over the top!

Will def check out the website.

Have just measured again..
Under bust remained the same in all positions.
In dangly position acoss the nipples was 42.5

I then tried on a soft cup bra that is much comfier but has no structure to it, and it was 41.5. I noticed the back was riding up though. And the original size of that bra was 36B. No doubt strecthed with laundering, must have bought that one in a slim phase.

Sounds like you know your stuff, maybe you should have a crack at fitting by eye? TBH it's easier and you probably do it without realising anyway. next time just have a good look with your gut. Bet you get it right or damn close.

Hmm, going by the drawer of badly fitting/hardly worn bras that I have, I'm not sure I would agree. But I will keep trying them on until I am happy. I don't help myself by fluctuating in weight so much.

I have ordered the top, scarf and bag.

Thank you to all who contributed on this thread, I felt so low earlier and now my spirits have lifted again.
But special thanks to MrsLettuce

Nest of vipers?...My arse!

Just hope it suits me when I try it on.

BLimey, if you're getting such small differences in measurements in different states you don't have spaniels ears. That's called moderate sagging.

Under bust is a fickle bugger. On some women it is what it it is, on others Wierd Stuff Happens. I measure a 38 but they don't fit, shoot right up my back, a 36 wriggles it's way up pretty swift. Have to wear a 34. Impossible. Or it should be. I've seen it on other women too. Needed a 32 on in something the other day but then the cup sizing was freaky as well.

The point of that whine being, it might be a true 36 and too big despite you measuring 38.

so, I'd say to try:

38 c & d
36 d & dd
34 dd & e

My money is on a 36DD, I think.

Y ou'll have seen the bravissimo link. But, yes, the band really should be tight. ^probably about the level of tension I should think you getting under your shoulder straps ATM. Pop a finger under and check. You might have to get used to it but it shouldn't feel crushing.

oh, sorry, no. Was talking to stats but lost the old wifi while my post was loading.

Oh blimey. Thanks!!

You should order some other stuff too, to be sure. You just get to try it on and then take it or leave it like normal stock. No charge no obligation. Bras as well unless it's a massive store. V popular sizes on that list.

Ha I was actually measuring for a dress that was being made- if I am fitting friends/family for bras I do just do it by eye/feel, and I never use a tape on myself normally. We were discussing actual measurements on the bra fitting thread and I realised I wasn't actually sure what my overbust measured!

I'd also agree re the back size - I measure closer to 32 but wear a 30, and I doubt that 36B has stretched THAT much to be riding up so I would definitely try smaller backs.

Curvy figures do tend to suit wrap style tops, and also v-necks, so I think you might be pleasantly surprised if your try on your friend's top as well as what you've ordered.

If you wanted to try a dress , this one is nice, especially if you suit blue.

So, did you get sorted BassaiDai?

Come on..... what did you wear??

The night out isn't till tomorrow night. I went shopping today after work. The clothes I ordered haven't come into store yet. Left empty handed after trying on about 30 things. I look hideous. I don't want to go. Sorry ladies, I really appreciate that you tried to help. Thank you for that.

Oh fuckity fuck fuck. Will you get a chance to go in and try your stuff today or are you giving up?

I know it's a bit early, here's some gin.

I'm only an occasional poster here but really wanted to say that I truly hope that your order arrived and has been a success. It would be such a shame to have had your spirits lifted and allowed yourself to get excited only for it all to fall apart . Please try on your friend's top and give it a go- you never know, you might have a great night... Oh, and drink Mrs L's gin