Fancy a challenge? Help me find something to wear...please.

[BassaiDai]

(N.B. On proof reading this before posting I realise its a very long self indulgent moan, but if you could be bothered, I would appreciate you reading on and offering any suggestions you may have)

I am supposed to be going out on Saturday night to a good friends birthday.

Only supposed to be because I could quite happily turn around and say I'm not going. I feel so shit about the way I look and my serious lack of suitable clothes. However a friend has insisted on babysitting for me and told me I need to go to lift my spirits. (Lone working parent to 3, no input from Dad, no family locally so I never do anything without children in tow, or just for me.)

I haven't been out for 2 years and so I feel really nervous about it, without feeling shit about the way I look too. Will I be able to remember how to socialise? What if I am steaming after a ridiculously small amount of drink?I used to be out all the time pre dc and used to be able to hold a decent amount of alcohol, but priorities change.

So can you help me find something to wear, that can be delivered by Friday? I haven't got time to shop between now and then due to work and other commitments.

I am a size 18, pear shape, black hair, pale skin in my mid 30's. My usual clothes are black trousers and a top for work days. Bleached/stained t-shirts and jeans on my non working day. I also struggle to find nice shoes to fit which I find limits what I can wear. I cannot wear pastel colours, if its not black or white it needs to be a strong colour, eg fuchsia pink, strong turquoise etc. Budget, £50 ish.

My wardrobe is rubbish, I have so little in it, and what is in it is all faded/bleached/bobbly etc. Its mostly black and white so it would be nice to introduce some colour. I haven't even got a bra that fits me properly ffs! I am determined to start rectifying this and looking after me better but it will be done over time rather than immediately, due to lack of funds, so I would really appreciate your help in starting the process.

Looking forward to your wisdom shining through...

Morning ladies. Sorry I didn't reply yesterday, we were out for the day.

Well I did go out last night. But only for an hour and a half. And I drove so no drinking. I just wore black trousers, pink vest top and black cardi. Not stylish at all but it was all in good condition, no bleach marks bobbles etc. The reason it was so short was due to original babysitter's child being very poorly and my back up babysitter couldnt get here till late. But at that point I had realised what a brain block I have developed about going out/my weight etc. So I was pleased I couldn't go out for any longer. I just wanted to dip my toe in the water so to speak. To actually go out and break the brain block before it gets any bigger.

I have been on the bottom of the priority list for so long now, and finally in the last few weeks it feels like everything else is flowing smoothly. So I am now going to move ME up the priority list a few notches and start taking better care of myself, in terms of health, image and emotions. Not quite sure where to start, may take a look at the princess thread to get an idea. And also a name change to mark the fresh start.

Thank you again for your time. No doubt I'll see you about the board's and be asking your advice again.

I didn't see your original post until now, but well done for taking that first step out. Are there any mums you get on with. We have a very informal book group (think more drinking than reading ) we also go out and have a meal every so often, or go down the pub instead. It has been a good way for me to get out and about.

Glad you went out. Please will you start by buying the very first outfit MrsLettuce posted. That blue top would look divine on a curvy figure with dark hair and pale skin. Especially with that bag. Then book a night out to wear them!

Lwj, thankfully I have lots of really good friends. However as a lone parent with no local family I struggle to get time away from dcs. I pay so much for childcare so I can work, that it seems too much for the budget, to factor in a babysitter as well as clothes, taxi, eats/drinks for a selfish night out.

My friends do say, 'I'll babysit anytime' but they all have thier own stresses and busy lives too. They are all drained and exhausted living thier own lives, why should they waste a precious evening looking after my children? I hate asking for help.
Good ideas though, I will throw them into conversation with various friends when i see them.

I have tried to have a girly night round mine a few times but I get in such a stress about the house/food etc that it just isn't worth it.

On the up side, the kids are getting older and a bit easier. Our lives have settled down compared to the stress I was going through two and a half years ago. I have worked hard at this, changing job, legal stuff, sorting our house out, counselling etc. All the work I have already done should make it easier on a day to day basis. So it's my turn to focus on me now. I cannot continue to feel the disgust at myself when I look in the mirror. And then ironically comfort myself with copious amounts of fattening foods. Such a mess. This has being going on all my life. I have got to change it.

Racing heart, I will certainly go and try it on. If it looks ok I will buy it and organise a night out.

Sorry for all typos, on the phone. Obviously I know that 'thier' is in fact, spelled their!

Bassai - sounds like you are coping brilliantly. Can't do it all at once.

Can you ask friends with children to sit for your kids or have them for sleep overs if you do the same for them in exchange? Must be other single mums in the neighbourhood who'd love a night out once in a while.