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Original poster

White dress for a wedding (as a guest?) - a no no?

112 replies

LadyThompson · 30/03/2012 10:08

I am sure it's been asked before, but...I want to wear a white linen dress. Is that a faux pas these days? It's fairly long, but not at all bridal (I don't think). Plus I am planning to dress it up with a deep pink wrap and fascinator and animal print shoes.

OP posts:

Original poster

LadyThompson · 30/03/2012 15:21

Ephiny - that's what I think. And what I would think if I was the bride. And what I am certain the bride and groom of this wedding think, as they are both fabulous.

OP posts:

BlingLoving · 30/03/2012 15:24

Eating with your mouth closed even.

Anyone else notice how often it's MIL wearing white?

VagolaJahooli · 30/03/2012 15:27

Crikey, I'm gobsmacked that someone would suggest not going to a wedding rather than turn up in a dress they thought people would not approve. Also this whole, do you want to be the bridesmaid thing, seriously ladies, how old are you. Or maybe the fact that thought crossed your minds says something? Do women still dream about being bridesmaids?

Helltotheno · 30/03/2012 15:31

Ephiny it's really refreshing to hear someone say that. It saddens me to think this is still the sort of thing people can be bothered getting worked up about :(

Weddings are not my thing (for many reasons including the above type carry on) but if I were to have a wedding, I couldn't care less what colour or even what clothes my guests wore as long as they were there for us and enjoying themselves. Isn't life too short to expend energy bitching about someone wearing white to a wedding?

knowitallstrikesagain · 30/03/2012 15:34

I am old enough! unfortunately

Just thinking, if someone turned up to a nunnery in a wimpole, I might think they wanted to be a nun.

If someone turned up to the zoo in a full on zebra outfit, I might think they were bonkers wanted to be one of the inmates.

But the tradition was that young bridesmaids wore white offset with other colours, that is where the phrase comes from.

Just trying to provoke the OP, am finding it funny that she canvassed opinion, went against it and is now implying that the bride wont mind because she is 'fabulous', at the same time implying that if the bride does mind she is a shallow self-centred bitch. Which OP will never know because she doesn't care enough to ask.

knowitallstrikesagain · 30/03/2012 15:35

How did I end up here? I try to keep my bitching to chat and AIBU. This is what I get for clicking on active.

rookiemater · 30/03/2012 15:45

Oh don't leave knowitall, you're quite funny

Jemma1111 · 30/03/2012 15:49

OP- I'm another one who thinks that you should'nt be wearing white to a wedding, especially if your dress is long !

No matter if you use coloured accessories etc people will still believe that you are merely trying to stand out as much as the bride.

Try and turn the situation around and imagine that it was you who was getting married and a friend of yours rocked up to your wedding in white, can you honestly hand on heart say that you would'nt be pissed off ?

This day is for your friend and if I were you I would respect how she and her family will feel if you wear white.

Bienchen · 30/03/2012 15:49

Deirdre, I would more than likely find something else in my wardrobe. But yes, if I only had a white dress and say manky work clothes, than I'd pass. I was trying to make a point that people usually have other choices in their wardrobe. And OP could have her other dress taken in, after all she has lost weight so that would be a possibility. But hey, she is of course free to choose what she wears, it is a free society after all. Now if all the other guests are thinking the same (or opting for that other colour that is now becoming fashionable, black), then the photos will be truly memorable.

Helltotheno · 30/03/2012 15:52

then the photos will be truly memorable.

Lots of people like to look at faces not clothes :)

Kayzr · 30/03/2012 15:56

I wouldn't give a monkeys. I get married in 6 days and what the guests are wearing doesn't even enter my mind. I want to marry my DP and that's all. FIL to be is threatening to wear his Blackburn football shirt. Pictures should be brilliant!

LadyT you're more than welcome at mine next Thursday in a full blown wedding merengue!!!

TheCatInTheHairnet · 30/03/2012 15:58

I don't think it's a problem either. Unless the groom is your ex. That would probably be a bit of a no no.

DeidreBarlow · 30/03/2012 15:58

Oohh Kayz can I come to your wedding and wear my Blackburn shirt too ?

JollyBear · 30/03/2012 15:59

I wouldn't care if someone wore a white dress with pink cardie etc to my wedding. It doesn't sound bridal at all!

I've been at a wedding where the MIL wore cream!

morethanthisprovinciallife · 30/03/2012 16:03

when I got married the girlfriend of one of my work colleagues wore a white satin trouser suit, white shoes, white bag. I was wearing a simple lilac dress, think a few people were a litte confused. I have to say I found it quite funny but she did get a lot of comments and looks which was a shame.

Kayzr · 30/03/2012 16:06

I was planning on wearing red before changing my mind. What would people do then? Wear red or not?

Deirdre, of course you can!!

SeaHouses · 30/03/2012 16:10

I have worn a short cream dress and matching coat to 3 weddings. The first time it was because my friend wanted me to do a reading and she wanted me to be in cream to match the bridesmaids and page boys. Nobody commented negatively at any of the three weddings, and at the second one, the bride said how lovely I looked.

If the bride is wearing a traditional wedding dress, then nobody is going to confuse the bride with a guest wearing something that looks nothing like a wedding dress.

I didn't wear a wedding dress to my wedding and wore a floral dress instead. If somebody else had turned up in a satin trouser suit and people had gotten confused, that would really have been my problem for not wearing a wedding dress at my own wedding.

morethanthisprovinciallife · 30/03/2012 16:12

Seahorses, I wasn't complaining I was just saying what happened and how other people reacted.

DurhamDurham · 30/03/2012 16:13

Just thinking, if someone turned up to a nunnery in a wimpole, I might think they wanted to be a nun

If someone turned up to the zoo in a full on zebra outfit, I might think they were bonkers wanted to be one of the inmates

Knowitall you are hilarious!!

If my opinion is worth anything I would judge someone at a wedding if they wore white. I also cannot understand why the op asked for opinions then refused every comment which didn't support her choice to wear white. I mean why ask in the first place?

Looing for an argument if you ask me

knowitallstrikesagain · 30/03/2012 16:24

Tis OK, I have rediscovered my place. Am only still here because I can't work out how to delete threads from my 'I'm on' bit. Have never needed to worry before because I stick to what I know. Precisely nothing.

xeno · 30/03/2012 16:44

I wouldn't wear white, but I have on many occasions worn dresses I picked up for under a fiver in charity shops or on eBay! Why can't you do that?

VagolaJahooli · 30/03/2012 18:05

Kayz that's a point and leads to another question. If the bride doesn't wear white, would she be tutted by women for not wearing white. I think I might be from a very different generation to others on here. I remember my Nan complaining when my pregnant cousin wore white to her wedding because clearly she wasn't a virgin. In fact I haven't been to a wedding where the bride wore white for ages.

Kayzr · 30/03/2012 18:09

My dress is ivory/cream sort of colour. Actually I was told by a lady who owns a bridal wear shop that about 1% of women wear white. Most dresses are actually ivory.

AnnoyingOrange · 30/03/2012 18:44

If it is hot in the venue you will probably take the wrap off and then you will be all in white, which will not be a good look. Especially as by this time, the bride will have taken off her veil and put down her bouquet, so she will just be in a white dress as well

ENormaSnob · 30/03/2012 18:49

I would never wear white to a wedding unless it was my own.

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