White dress for a wedding (as a guest?) - a no no?

[LadyThompson]

I am sure it's been asked before, but...I want to wear a white linen dress. Is that a faux pas these days? It's fairly long, but not at all bridal (I don't think). Plus I am planning to dress it up with a deep pink wrap and fascinator and animal print shoes.

Really - you don't have a skirt and top or a smart pair of trousers that would do for the occasion. Or do you have a friend the same size - I have just lent my friend all my summer clothes as she is going somewhere hot at Easter time and I won't need them.

Oh well, up to you I suppose.

Besides, the bride is wearing cream.

Or if the maid of honour is wearing a white dress but with bridal party accessories? You might look like you were desperate to be a bridesmaid...

So you are wearing it anyway then?

Bridesmaids are also in cream.

Hire a dress if you don't want to buy one. I'm at a wedding this weekend and have hired a lovely dress. It's bad form to wear white to a wedding.

Cream with pink accessories Vs white with pink accessories.

Would still look similar.

Did you secretly want to be bridesmaid?

Please put this in AIBU so everyone can get properly het up we can have a civilised vote

As OP has already posted that "I have decided that it [the tradition] is not relevant" and has implied that onl those lacking perspicacity would find it strange, this is clear not going to be a open-minded thread.

Weight of opinion is: 3 posters say it's OK, 7 grudgingly say it can be OK especialk if bride consulted, 19 say outright no.

Sorry to disappoint, EdithWeston, but I was vaguely canvassing opinions, not signing a contract to abide by what a majority of (random) posters said. I know that some on here won't be happy until I am weeping and penitent but those people are out of luck. Meanwhile, the wedding will be lovely and I am genuinely looking forward to it and I'm delighted for the bridge and groom

I would never wear white to a wedding unless I wasn the bride. No way.

Wear something else for goodness sake. After all, the point of the day is not really that you should look fabulous, is it?

OP whether people say it's ok or not, or whether a bunch of busybodies are 'cats bumming' at you all night in disapproval instead of actually getting a life, the world will still keep spinning, people will still be murdered on the streets, the troubles in Syria will still be going on.... so wear whatever outfit you want and enjoy the day.

Really people, a modicum of perspective maybe ??

Who says I am making about me, or trying to look 'fabulous'? That's quite an extrapolation!

I would not want you weeping and penitent in your bridal gown white dress.

I would not mind you weeping and penitent in another outfit.

Would be very attention seeking to wear white and sob loudly whilst sringing hands throughout ceremony.

wringing hands.

Sringing hands could also be attention seeking depending on what it involves...

If I was so hard up to not be able to buy another dress and found nothing in my wardrobe, I would rather not attend the wedding. Hope you have at least money for a present or maybe that has also gone out of fashion

I'm on the fence on this one. I had never heard that white to a wedding was a faux pas until a couple of years ago, and before that, I had worn a white dress (albeit with an occasional pattern) to a couple of weddings.

When I had my wedding a couple of years ago, my FIL's partner wore a cream dress. I hadn't really noticed (other things on my mind) but my mum bristled a bit. And when I got the photos back, I have to say it did really, really stand out in the group shots and make them look a bit unbalanced (cos you typically have just one person dressed in white in the middle; I had a second one in mine off to one side). But I am not the kind of person to be bothered about it. I get on well with her, so I don't think she was trying to make any kind of point. She just wore what she wore.

I don't see why you think I'd be disappointed.

I have to say that I did think that someone seeking views might be open to the possibility those views counting for something. But I'm not at all surprised that the thread is snide in places.

Well, fortunately, Bienchen, the bride and groom think differently and would be horrified if I didn't attend because I was fretting about my outfit, of all things! What planet do you live on? And yes, of course I am buying them a present - not that, again, that would be a barrier to my attending, should I not be able to afford to! Good gracious.

Its a dress FFS!!

Seriously one dress is never going to overshadow a bride on her wedding day! Who says you can't wear white. A few people wore white/cream to my wedding. I couldn't have cared less.

Thank you DB. Like I said earlier, I think it will look more like I am wearing a white skirt anyway.

Bienchen Seriously you wouldn't go over a dress??

I went to a wedding last year...the bride wore blue (it was lovely actually). So did a few others....was that wrong?

Or are we just saying that we follow etiquette?

White linen and a floral jacket, cardigan or shawl could look summery fun and not at all bridal.
Not sure about pink, an interesting not too pastel pink might work. Fushia and white is a bit stark, highlighting not softening the dress.

I don't like animal print shoes, but I hate expensive uncomfortable shoes more

I would be quite sad if one of my friends didn't attend my wedding because they couldn't afford to buy a new outfit, and I would hate to think I'd made anyone feel they had to stay away for a reason like that :(

By far the most important thing to me is having the company of my good friends on the day, dress codes etc really don't matter in comparison to that.

The pink of my cardigan and wrap are a sort of a deep rose pink rather than a fuschia, I would say. The dress definitely looks sort of summery. Not like I am on my way up the aisle.

LadyT - I think you thought everyone would tell you to wear it. But they haven't. And now you are a little defensive, even if you don't mean to be.

I'm still in the "don't wear it" brigade personally and this thread has put me even more there. I thought that my view was perhaps a little old fashioned but clearly not. And while you don't have to care what the other guests think, be aware that they will have an opinion.

Business trills - eating with your mouth full is just an accepted norm for us. In other places, Korea for example, it's considered polite to eat with your mouth open. Loudly. Very disconcerting for us westerners.