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[MeTheMog]

I need to become a mistress of deception and make myself look slimmer than I am. What are your top tips for instant weight loss. I have ginormous boobs, a fat tummy but slim hips and not much bottom and quite long legs. I would describe myself as an inverted cheese triangle - not a great look. Please sort me out in a hurry as I am going away for a week over Easter.

Stop eating bread as of now
If you are able - do the Dukan Attack phase (basically low fat protein only)

Drink lots of water - yes I know - boring but do it!

Gah - pressed send too quickly

Then

Make sure your bra/bras fit properly (like I'm sure you don't know this already - but lifted and separated ginormous boobs will look better than one low slung mono boob) Hopefully you know what I mean there

Dress - if in doubt, go for a wrap dress. Isabella Oliver 365 does plain colours, Boden has some patterned fixed wrap ones, LK Bennett has silk jersey ones (look on ebay though there are loads.) Wear the wrap dress with a slip dress a) smooths bumpy bits and b) protects against accidental unwrapping.

Spanx style slip if it's not a hot or romantic (or both) weekend - don't bother if it is - will kill your mood!

spray tan / fake tan - makes everything look better I think

Then have a drink and enjoy yourself!

Forget about losing weight before Easter- it aint to happen in enough quantity to make a real difference. Get a decent haircut/colour, slap on the make up, smile and forget about your body.

Stretchy pencil skirt. Heels without ankle straps. V neck tops. Long necklaces.

Big sucky in pants

no salty foods and drink more fluids will help your body slim down excess water its holding
agree with the spray tan

My friend is your shape and 5ft 11. We joke that we are both triangles but the opposite way up...I'm the short pyramid!
She has incredible legs (damn her...have only seen legs like that on a Barbie and with heels they just make me weep!). What she does to disguise her top is goes for v short,v high heels and dresses that are more straight.hang on will find a link not describing well.

Chocolateteabag speaks sense! I kept off the 2 stone I lost quite quickly on Dukan.

*I agreed with the rest of her steps too!

Properly fitting underwear will work wonders - bra that lifts you and gives a good shape and good pants that hold you in. Cut out salty food, drink lots of water and get in as much exercise as possible

www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Wrap-Dress-with-Sequin-Cuff/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1951822&cid=8799&Rf-400=12647,12606,12208,53,13036&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Blackrosegoldblack
www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Knitted-Dress-With-Cowl-Neck/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1704956&cid=8799&Rf-400=12647,12606,12208,53,13036&sh=0&pge=2&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Minkbeige
black swing
multicoloured
nice sleeves
www.monsoon.co.uk/sydney-jersey-dress/invt/15317972/green
red
Sorry don't know budget or length but hope these will give you some ideas.

this? just seen on another thread

Consider wearing a two piece number, like this because then you can tailor to your size a bit. Second the bra fitting - go to Leia, they are marvelous. For outfits:

www.coast-stores.com/MAIREAD-TOP/All-Tops/coast/fcp-product/2244584138

www.coast-stores.com/MAIREAD-DUCHESS-SATIN-SKIRT/Skirts/coast/fcp-product/2283518838

inverted triangles look good in shifts, with your norks you'll also be better with a scoop/v neck. Try this

www.coast-stores.com/coast/fcp-product/2334352512#GBP

Accessories, accessories Accessories!!!