talk me through a bikini wax please

[HillyWallaby]

Right. At the grand old age of 45 years 11 months and one week, I am going to get my bikini line waxed. In the past I have just muddled through with a haphazard combination of nail scissors, razor and veet, but then my lady garden and bikini line rarely saw daylight. All that has changed. I live somewhere permanently hot, and and frequently seen about town in my swimwear so the time has come people.

What do I need to know? How long should I let the bits that are creeping out of the knickers get before waxing? Is it better to have some length or is too much length more painful? Do they trim the bushy bit in the middle without actually waxing it, or do they live that bit completely alone?

What do I wear? Do I have to take off my girdle? How do they get to the delicate underneath scary parts? How erm....in depth is it? When I did a home wax once I ended up with a massive bruise and a varicose vein in my groin.

Will they show me a picture of styles to choose from?

leave not live

OK so this is what happened when I went for a brazilian.

Walk in, she says "OK undress your bottom half and pop on this paper thong", leaves the room to let you do that, you get on massage table, lie on bed in thong with towel over you if you like.

She comes back in, faffs a bit with heating up the wax.

She directs you how to move your legs. Started with knees pointing out to the sides IYSWIM so she can do sides of mons pubis. Asked me to hold paper thong out of the way and the skin taut, applies wax, pulls. Done. Repeat for other side. Move paper thong further out of the way so she can get more to the middle bit. She'll ask how thick you want your landing strip.

Then repeat the same thing for the vaginal lips with legs in different position - I think knee up to chest or something like that. It sounds awkward but isn't too bad. Repeat for other side. A couple more down nearer your bum.

Then she will tweeze a few remaining hairs which you don't feel at all.

Then give you a wipe and leave the room to let you clean off any remaining wax. And then you get dressed and pay!

All over in 10 mins for me and really not that painful because each strip is so quick.

In terms of length I think short, but long enough for the wax to grip is best. About a centimetre long I reckon.

definately a centimeter (give or take one or two mm - no need to get the ruler out). I have everything off so I dont know about trimming la bush - I'm guessing you do that yourself...

The only way it can vary is how they do the backdoor...Different waxers have had me with my knees up to my chest, lying on my side with knees to chest...one eveh had me on all fours I think she just fancied me though!!!

The more you get waxed the easier the hairs come out. If you are very sensitive you may bruise but that should die down quick enough (arnica really helps with bruising). Most beauticians will get you to wear a paper thong (I never bothered with my last waxer - she was brill - not fazed by anything and the most meticulous person ever!).

Top tip is to exfoliate really well the night before and to wear french knickers - I find the wipes they give you never get all of the residue.

and btw - I now just use veet everyday - totally smooth everywhere so if you really can't cope the option is there (I can't cope with growing the hair long enough to get it waxed).

I have had it fine in 6 different places as move a lot and have been asked to be totally naked below - no paper knickers - just to warn you so I just check when I go in
I always wear a long top or dress to feel less exposed if that's possible!!!

God, it all sounds hideous. Like my idea of a nightmare. I am very self-conscious about this sort of thing. Mostly about people needing to get up close an personal to my wobblt arse and thighs more than my fanjo, strangely. Perhaps the Grizzly Adams look has suited me best all along?

Right. I can do this. I have seduced men, given birth three times, had fillings at the dentist. Had umpteen massages involving awkard moment of bosom exposure. I can do this.

I'm off now. I'll report back later.

Oh. just realise. Having period. Probably not a good idea to go today after all. Don't want the tampon string getting caught up in an nasty business.

Phew. Close.

Ill try that again shall I?

just realised

any funny business

think you are more sensitive to pain on period anyway

There are also different types of styles ... Brazilian is literally sides, front and nearer the bottom... If you want everything off that is called a Hollywood. The Hollywood hurts (less as you have it done more often) but is better IMO as a cleaner finish. First time I went I took painkillers half hr before

I would not recommend waiting longer than a month between waxings...good luck

Oh and tell the beautician it's your first time so she'll do it in smaller patches... And they've seen everything much like the labour ward

I bet they've never seen anyone poo themselves and shout 'Fuck Off' to eveyone within earshot. Although there's always a first time, and I might be it.

I am definitely NOT wanting everything off. I just need a nice neat trim so I don't scare other beach-goers. I don't hold with all this new-fangled fanjo baldness that you young things go in for these days.

I also have never had a wax and will soon be going for my first!

My problem is that I have a small skin tag right in the area that will be waxed. I am worried that the wax will rip the tag off ! So what should I do? I could cover that little area with a plaster maybe or just tell them to wax round it but I will be left with a little island of hair! Or I could try to get rid of the skin tag myself. It seems a bit ridiculous to go to the doctors to get rid of it though.

Hilly that sounds hilarious try it ....and not a young thing just a late convert lol

Where I go, I wear my own pants-thong type. She instructs me to pull it to one side or the other as required.
One knee bent and out to the side at a time to do the underneath.
On front knicks pulled to one side then the other to do the back.

Where I go, the beautician is brill, all this is done in about five minutes with her talking constantly as she does it so I'm totally distracted by the awful tales about her daughters school, just responding to the occasional instruction and offering 'no that's terrible type comments', then it's all over.

If the pain is a worry take some neurofen before you go, it's a bit 'oooh aaahh' at times but nothing major.

Varies a lot depending on your beautician I think.