Holy crap. WTAF can I wear for an event of such serious lahdedahness?

[poshlaydeehonestguv]

Namechanged

One has been invited to the Queen's garden party at Balmoral this August. One is a dumpy apple shape, 5'3" with shapely but chunky legs and serious belly/overhang going on.

What does one wear to such an event, and more importantly what would suit one's unfortunate figure? One normally wears jeans.

Cough, posh face on, when I went to a royal garden party at Buckingham Palace I wore a 50s shaped coral dress, a well posh black l

Oops, it's the strain of maintaining my posh face, as I was saying - dead posh black linen wrap, black slingbacks and large Audrey Hepburn stylee black straw hat.

There are a LOT of 'nice' mumsy florals going on if I remember correctly

Stealth boast .

I'll come clean - I'm a republican. But I bet the cakes will be amazing. There's no way I'm missing the cakes.

Can take or leave the cucumber sarnies though.

Did I mention that the ideal outfit will have an elasticated waistband?

I would dress as if going to a posh wedding.

I have no idea what that actually entails, though. But I'd throw money at the hat, as that will distract attention from the clothes. And hats are great.

Fuck. I hadn't even thought about a hat. I have a plastic fedora and a woolly beanie to my name.

You get a list of dress rules I think, and posh laydeeeees like what we are have to wear some kind of head covering ( not a placcy bag ). There were loads of fascinators.
Posh wedding is pretty much right.
And there are snipers with big f-off guns on the roof and a frenzied middle class stampede to get close to Liz - Prince Edward, not so much.

I have been to the Garden Party at Buck Pal and there were some fairly strict dress rules.

Women had to wear a skirt or dress, with hat, and nothing short or strapless I think. Men in lounge suits or uniform.

I wore a navy skirt suit, cream cami thing and navy straw hat. I don't know what I was thinking. I was bloody roasting. I did get to meet Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama randomly.

What shoes?
One would want to avoid grass sinkage.

Damn it. Msarsebiscuit got there first. And her outfit sounds much nicer and more suitable than mine

You're all wonderful. The worst of it is my mother will be there to tut at me. The pressure!

Thank you BillyBB, that's very kind of you - took me ages to decide what to wear, I don't get out much ....

My shoes were medium heeled Carvela slingbacks, some of the high heel wearers were indeed experiencing grass sinkage issues.

Ah Poshlady, I toyed with the idea of taking my mum some corgi poo that I rather surprisingly found in the grounds - souvenirs don't get much fancier than that.

Are you going as a 'daughter' then?

Not going 'as' one - I am one ... am I missing something?

How would you have preserved the poo?!

Is a tea dress going to be too casual? Length is a problem, being short and fat.

Clean heels heel stoppers on amazon. Apparently they stop the sinkage on grass dontchaknow

Poshlady, I suspect the whole poo as souvenir concept was fundamentally flawed.

I think it depends on your style, personally, although I really like tea dresses, I think that they can veer towards Frumpville if one has a more generous shape (the reason that I've never bought a VoH one despite really wanting to).
What kind of thing do you like ?

I was thinking either along these lines - www.stopstaringclothing.com/sunshop/glmwp-03-rdwhd-166.html

Or these

www.dollydagger.co.uk/proddetail.asp?prod=BPDRS1NVY&cat=26

Arses - www.dollydagger.co.uk/proddetail.asp?prod=BPDRS1NVY&cat=26

www.stopstaringclothing.com/sunshop/glmwp-03-rdwhd-166.html

you can hire a hat once you have an outfit btw. why spend £££ to never wear again. why not try john lewis or the like personal shopping and get them to do the leg work. they will be steered by your budget.

Get thee on eBay. Take a chance on a couple of dresses. Nice little cardy. Plastic fedora. Sorted.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vtg-1940s-50sstyle-floral-tea-swing-dress-/250970948685?pt=UK_Women_s_Dresses&var=&hash=item801328c3aa#ht_719wt_1037

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vintage-Spring-Garden-Tea-Party-50s-Dress-WW2-Uk10-/320853370830?pt=UK_Women_s_Vintage_Clothing&hash=item4ab459e7ce#ht_500wt_1287

No...when you mentioned your mother. Grown up sons can't go but daughters can.
As for dress code-just copy them...

Coat dresses,dress and coat,etc. Don't do tea dress with your shape-think regal and like the Queen. (Or Camilla,she has some nice clothes.)

Love this.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vintage-Dress-Prada-UK-Size-12-/270921600325?pt=UK_Women_s_Vintage_Clothing&hash=item3f142f8d45#ht_500wt_1287

I'm getting it wrong aren't I?

You don't want eBay do you?

I love the first dress msarsebiscuit

Would also look at
www.theprettydresscompany.com

I hear fascinations are out (how will Kate manage?!)at Ascot ditto any posh do now.

Wedges for grass.

An oversized clutch that will fit a folding small umbrella

To put your dress issues into perspective - if I get to go to the buckingham palace one this summer that dh has been invited to I could be anything from 42wks pg to 2-4wks pp and bf depending on when dc2 decides to put in an appearance...!

I think key points are not showing cleavage, cover your shoulders, dress/skirt to the knees and a fascinator/hat - I might just give up and go for a floral tent to cover all eventualities

For your shape maybe a short fitted jacket over a tea dress would work? Less frumpy IMO than a shrug/shawl type thing.