why do mums of toddlers dress like they are going into battle?

[Pharoahnuff]

i know I think i did.
ALl bagged up, flat boots, look of grim determination. In my day it was all combat trousers, quilty gilets and timberlands.
now its ugly Fly boots and ill fitting skinnies

Just put a brush through your hair fgs

Oh im only 20 and have been a mum for 3 weeks, i dont wear make up and even when going for a night out i only put mascara and eyeliner on. I always wear jeans and a vest top with a cardigan and my trainers. Usually swop trainers for boots if im going out x

It isn't about looking scruffy - it is about looking presentable. Bedhair and tomato sauce (presumably from last night's dinner) round your mouth is just disgusting.

I don't think it seems especially bitchy? Plenty worse on mumsnet! Maybe I have the wrong end of the stick. The OP referred to her own battle dress - I didn't think that she was being horribly judgemental, just wondering why. Lots of us genuinely don't have enough time to do all sorts of things, but there's also nothing wrong with wearing something nice. Or brushing your hair.

Too much time is spent trying to dress as to how you identify yourself or how you want others to identify you.

I derive great pleasure seeing a well dressed woman, it always makes me happy. So pride in your appearance is a good thing.

FidoFellDown that's not the sort of person the OP's having a go at is it?

I don't think she's having a go at anyone. She was talking about herself as much as anyone else and she's just asking a question?

I reckon there's a difference between Mum Clothes (pram pushing-todder darting after-kneeling on floor-non iron-disguising snot and banana stains) and not bothering/caring about decent haircuts/make up though.

Oh and re Mum Clothes - I don't think anyone's mentioned the propensity to shop on line (shopping with toddlers being one of the circles of hell) therefore inclination to a "uniform" and also possibly why said skinny jeans don't fit perfectly

Well I still have one toddler and don't dress in fly boots or ill fitting jeans [as if]

But I am irredeemably shallow

And there's judging on both sides believe me. Have seen countless threads on here where people do the 'oh I'm too busy ing with my children to put on make up/hoover my stairs etc'.

Its just priorities really - I feel a lot better when made up, hair done and wearing nice clothes but I really don't care if other people don't - its up to them.

Oh thats playing with my children - not 'ing' with my children whatever that is.

You do get into a uniform dont you? was partial to a long sleeve t shirt and htink i even had some v neck fitted fleeces GASP.
This was around 12 years ago though. slinks off
and some godawful shoes.
but i was slim and un wrinkled

Mine was bootcut jeans and long sleeved round neck teeshirts

and a very long cardi

and very pointy stretch boots in a dark plum colour from marks

And beads

OOH YES me too and a pendant with a shell on it.
was trying to kid self i liked brown too at the time
I had a gilet once but that didnt last.

Yes I wore LOTS of brown

and boucle

I found it harder to look presentable when I worked full time and had to be out the door by 7 tbh (major respect to those who work full time AND have toddlers)

I still have to get up at an ungodly hour but me and the toddler have quite leisurely mornings where we play the game of "watch mummy shower, put make up on and dry hair"!

I think if you want to do it, you do it.

Clothes wise - well, you need to be practical if you're running round after a toddler but you can easily look nice in flat shoes/boots, jeans and coat.

i never did the boucle.
had some godawful galosh shoes though
shit
I DRESSED FOR BATTLE

Snap, cybbo. Except my boots were dark grey.

Always hair brushed and basic make-up.

I bloody love my gilet, nothing mumsy about it but then my arms are skinny and my tummy is a bit mummy so it flatters me in the right places!

As for ill fitting skinnies you definitely have a point about buying them online, I always do as I have shopping with toddler then spend half the time hiding in a corner hitching them up.

I had a grape coloured CAPSULE WARDROBE

Even then, I had It going On

Basic make-up means different things to different people though. On a good day I manage lipstick, on a very good day eyeshadow and mascara too.

I have to confess though, it seems a little pointless to put on make up that then stops me kissing DCs i
In case it rubs off, then taking it all off again before bed. Especially if it's a day where we don't see anyone.

Can't wait to be out of breastfeeding tops! Would love to have a new clothes budget though - everything is at least 3 years old, quite a lot is 10 years, but still serviceable.

Did the fleece thing too.With too short bootcut jeans and crew neck tee.
Had wake up call when Trinny and Susannah started their show in 2001 ish.
Am now always made up and outfited out!

'still serviceable' - actually that says it all!

I have such a vivid picture in my mind of uber-caring mum now. In the 10 years that I have known her (since our eldest DCs started school) she has worn the same uniform of ill-fitting jeans, scoop neck long-sleeved t-shirt, shapeless fleece and even more shapeless anorak (winter), crocs or trainers. No make-up, straggly eye-brows and hair in a loose pony-tail. She once asked me how I justified wasting time on myself in the mornings when I could spend a few more precious minutes with my children. And that was when I was in full battle regalia myself.

It's that attitude, rather than how she looks, that is so saddening and maddening. The "Oh, I'm such a martyr to my off-spring, which makes me such a better parent than you."

but kids LIKE you to look nice. SMell like mum but look good. Its true.

Fly boots
Boot cut jeans
Practical coat
Cross shoulder bag
Safe earrings (usually studs)
Layered tops (usually black vest/neutral long sleeve)

This is the uniform of mums.

Or those fucking awful trainers with the big wedge which help you lose weight. Whilst your walking along eating a bag of quavers