can I wear ivory to a wedding?

[grolier]

Can I wear an ivory lace dress, chic, flattering, discreet, and perfect in every way - except possibly (probably) colour - to a spring wedding? I am part of the family inner circle, not a random guest. LOVE the bride and would never do anything to spoil things for her, so there's no question of "up-stagy-ness".

Green?! Why green?

God, it's a minefield, and I have 2 this year!

I don't think I could tell you what a single guest at my wedding was wearing! Most people will be more interested in the bride and groom than nitpicking at everyone elses outifts, its not the oscars!

I would ask the bride directly!

If you are that close to the bride then is checking with ehr an option?

Sorry, but I am in the group of wear what you like. Who gives a toss if you get raised eyebrows. It's a bloody dress. Unless the bride is some bridezilla then crack on and wear your outfit which sounds lovely.

please don't. find something else to wear.

I just don't get it though? Why should she have to wear something else?

I don't get it either Greggs

I can't even begin to imagine how fucking insecure a bride would need to be to even give it consideration!

NO. Lace and ivory are both bridal. Please don't even think about it.

sure there are people who don't care about customs and would gladly go to a funeral in bright yellow, why not? I personally would not. Nor would I wear ivory lace to a wedding, except my own.

Buy WHY?!?!

Someone needs to explain why. Surely it's either

a) because of tradition. Well stuff that, it's 2012, and it's not like all the women will be in hats and gloves
b) because everyone will think you're the bride. Well, no they won't.
c) because everyone will look at you and not the bride. Well, that's highly unlikely.
d) because the bride won't like it. Well she probably won't, and if she does, then she's probably a bit precious and it's high time she learned not to be.

I'd say yes with the right accessories, and as long as it's not a small wedding. Are you close enough to the bride to ask her? If she's wearing a massive white affair she really might not mind - but if she's gone for something lacy and ivory she might.

Lots of people wore non bridal style white/ivory/cream to my wedding and I didn't care - they didn't look like brides!

Oh, and do get it dyed if you can. That will be nice. Or else wear it with a patterned coat or something. That will be fine I suppose.

That being said, Hazle has just made an excellent point, and I don't know where I am anymore

Couldn't have written that better myself Scarlett.

Mind you, I did get married at home in a pair of trousers and a top and guests wore what they wanted.

I hate traditional weddings.

I think because it's considered rude to wear white; funereal to wear black; and unlucky to wear green. I don't know why and I didn't know about green until a friend of mine was v upset that someone wore green to her wedding but she is a bit mad.

If it was a cream or yellowy off-white, then I would say ok.
Ivory, no...unless you really accessorise it up with another colour.

At my wedding one of my close friends turned up in a calf-length white dress with coloured shawl and I did raise my eyebrows for just a second, but the shawl was the colour of our flowers etc and she was playing a part in the ceremony, so it looked like part of the plan. I certainly didn't say anything!

If I were the bride (fat chance) I wouldn't much care, tbh.

I just have a bit of a wasp in my waistcoat about weddings generally, you know? When did they become sources of so much strain and one-upmanship?

Now Katy Carr's wedding from What Katy Did: THAT was the kind of thing I like

I had no idea it was considered wrong to wear green . And black is possibly more acceptable than it used to be, especially for an evening do.

Probably wouldn't choose ivory lace though, just doesn't seem quite right. I know it's a bit of a silly 'rule', and if it was my wedding, I honestly wouldn't care in the slighest what anyone wore as long as they were more or less decent! I wouldn't want to risk making a faux-pas at someone else's wedding though.

...because even fairly normal/sensible people can become a bit precious about wedding-related stuff. Maybe we shouldn't pander to the silliness, but sometimes it's easier just to go along with the expectations...

No. I think its rude. And for those screaming whyyyy???
I'd day that its recognised that the bride will be wearing white/ivory/cream and it is part of what marks you out as a bride. I dont mean no-one will know you're the bride if not. Moreover when most girls dream of their wedding they dream of their 'big white dress'. Not wearing white is about respect to that woman in her one moment. Nothing about mistaken identity. It makes you look like you wish it was your day. And the dress you descibe op is the kind of wedding dress i'd choose for a low key wedding as a bride so it does sound too much.

Doctor explains it well.

you sound like a spoilt brat ScarlettPimpernel

... but I wanted to wear white/ivory/lace it's not fair! why does she get to wear white/ivory/lace

it's not your day. just accept that even if you think it's ok lots and lots of people won't and it will probably be a little bit of a shock to the bride. the bride isn't being insecure she just wants to be the only one wearing white/ivory lace (if she's going down that road) so why not put what you want aside for just one day?

Spoilt brat