Crepeys/Hagsnet - the moonlight beckons!

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Because moonlight gives you a nice glow and doesn't show up your wrinkles or grey hair.

I'm still in spectacles denial. I am keeping an eye out for a little magnifying glass with pretty case I keep in handbag and whip out discreetly when I need to peer at small print when out and about. I went and bought Nair hair removal cream to attempt a home brazilian with (after reading thread on MN ) Got it home... says don't use on genitals and perianus in the small print which I couldn't read in the shop.

Talk to Wilbur, she's our Brazilian specialist.

Ah yes, but I went down the bite-on-a-stick waxing route, so I'm not sure about Nair. I would have thought, if you were careful, that you could use it on the external bits, just that you need to avoid the more, erm, membranous areas. Do a major trim first so that you can paint it on with finesse. You would have to lie on the bathrooom floor with your legs spread wide for some time though, so make sure you have a good book to hand.

Mascara - I have some from Illamasqua that dh got as a freebie and it's very good. They have a background in theatre makeup, and it's strong but not too draq queen. It does take some getting off, though, but I don't wear it everyday. Possibly I should.

I am hoping for freebies from new job when it starts. Will update you all should they be produced.

It actually appears to be real, this job. Proper job. And full time. Probably for a year. Real job.

Also a good bathroom lock, of course, TNS. In fact I would wait till everyone else is out.

TNS, if you have any scars down there do not go near with hair removing cream as it reacts with the scar tissue, stings like buggery and gives you a nice blotchy rash. I tried this and ended up looking like a Mexican Hairless with a bad case of impetigo rather than the chi chi Brazilian I had in mind.

Oh and the DDs go back to school on Thursday. We got an email from the school this afternoon, saying that they are introducing compulsory PE kit from Thursday. Which you can buy from the school for 30 euros for plain white T short and shorts. Think we will be heading off to Decathlon tomorrow.

Well, MrsS, I've spent about £160 getting DS1 kitted out for senior school, and there are still a few odds and ends to buy. Thank goodness the DDs won't need anything this term.

MI, when does the real job start?

MI - I'm v excited about your new job, how fab. Where, location not company name, will you be working? Will have to make a date for chips and wine to hear all about it.

Herbs - thanks for your post about finally producing ds, I am going to paste it into an email to my friend. Well done for keeping trying, I'm so pleased it worked out for you in the end.

13 Sept. I have quite a bit to work through before then. Charing Cross, which is v convenient for me.

It is being the health commissioning editor on a magazine published by a large chain of chemists that rhymes with roots.

at "large chain of chemists that rhymes with roots"!

Oh - and this is partly my fault - just realised that DD1 goes to the Lake District for a week next week. Aaaargh!

Ooh, brilliant - you will certainly have freebies! Protect and Perfect, here you come . The facial scrub is very good - I have been known to use it on the backs of my bingo wings arms.

Isn't she supposed to be in school in her gleaming new PE kit, Mrs S?

Yes, Wilbur, for the first week. I think I should just arrange for a large percentage of my salary to be paid directly to Decathlon. I am now waiting for her to tell me that she has grown out of her hiking boots (the bonus here is that this means I can have them), which are an Essential for the trip.

MI - you should have got this job 2 years ago, when I was working at Trafalgar Square. But it might not have been good for out livers...

our livers...tsk!

My bathroom is not big enough for me to lie on the floor legs wide, so that's me out :) We are in Kyoto where the humidity is something like 89%, so yesterday, having 'done' the Golden Pavillion and the Rock Garden we trekked all over town looking for a place to eat (dp is a foodie), cue major meltdown from ds, followed closely by me....(we end up with dp in front at least 100 yards down the road, me in the middle and ds bringing up the rear and I just lost it...). Finally dp lost it in the evening and had to go for a quiet beer. Not a good day. Lesson - manage expectations and remember ds is 8 and vocal about his discomfort (dp has had too many years of me simply muttering under my breath - something he can ignore)

I have to do the whole school uniform thing when I get back, and no doubt all the 3 for 2 and sales will have finished. WHY do they sell it all cheap at the BEGINNING of the holiday when a. I don't want to buy as I have no idea how much ds will grow and b. getting him in a shop to buy school uniform when he has just finished school is just plain unlikely.

P&P makes me spotty! But congrats on the job MI. When I get back I also need to make a job related decision - a roll of the dice perhaps?

CV, what you need is in-laws who love perusing the fake footy kits whilst on hol - DS has about 12 kits (I kid you not) of which one is his team kit and one is a real Arsenal one bought online (cheaper ) the rest are fakes! DD has 3 kits too!

I kitted my two out in the M&S 20% off sale BEFORE the hols, but DD has grown about 2 inches, so I'm hoping they still fit. Lucky she likes mini-skirts!

We don't have school uniform, so my two end up going to their school in clothes that are increasingly ragged/outgrown/unsuitable for the weather. DD1 informs me she has outgrown all her jeans.

And oh god must get DD2 some school plimsolls, as hers were massively outgrown even by the end of last term.

MI, just been on a jeans-buying trip with the DC. We found a pair (well several, but luckily he liked the cheapest best!) for DS in H&M - their skinnies are a great fit and have elasticated waists too!
Sadly we couldn't find any black skinnies for DD that fitted/she liked. Why do they make the waists so big on jeans?

BD, sight-seeing in the heat with DC is not good - we had that last Easter in horrendously humid Cochi. But no worries about that when you get back to Blighty!

Actually I have just realised DD1 has conveniently forgotten a raft of jeans that have arrived from the Schadenfrauline...

I can't complain (well I could, but you wouldn't hear me over ds) . Had three Michelin starred meals in as many days... They all think ds is lovely and are amazed at his chopstick skills . Melt down again today, but it is hideously hot and humid again.

Anyway Hags a question. I have gone up a dress size and have a wardrobe that largely is too small. Serious question - am I kidding myself that I could get back into them, or do I accept weight gain goes with age?

I'm now back in clothes that were too small a year ago, thanks to the patented 'mildly gippy batty' method. It works, though is heavy on the loo roll.

Is becoming enraged by things that aren't really one's concern a symptom of the crepeys? My xmas negotiations continue. Remember BiL inviting my parents to theirs for xmas, but not me or anyone else, waving the 'look at me, being magnanimous family man'? Well, my mum doesn't want to go there as the drive's too far, etc etc, so has invited everyone to theirs instead. Now BiL is saying he might not be able to go due to work. He hasn't been to see my parents for about 7 years. So, family's only important on his own terms, and his own turf.

This shouldn't really bother me, but for some reason is making my stomach go all funny.

Also, just back from singing at a funeral. No-one I knew - I was singing the nice songs during the ins and outs and communions. As it was a Catholic service, it didn't half go on. And I didn't know some of the hymns.

I'm a total heathen, but during funerals I can't help but feel it would be lovely to believe in something bigger than oneself. It must give a wonderful feeling of security. Shame it's all so obviously nonsense. No offence, like.

Aye, they put on a good funeral, the Catholics.

Enragement over issues that are nothing to do with you are definitely crepey related.

Net-twitching enragement over people parking in the wrong spot, or having frequent gentleman callers, is quite fun though. Family-induced rage is less so.

Overheard in - of course - Sainsbury's this lunchtime, between two young staff members: "You'd better get some KY jelly in before this evening".

They saw me sniggering. And we all guffawed.

Who, the young salespersons too? Good sports.

My favourite supermarket tale was when I lived with a bunch of pals. We were in the baked goods aisle one day, and friend S spied some 'fork-split muffins'. Thinking this sounded rather rude, she leant forward into an ear and said in a loud stage whisper 'well, part my flaps'. However, the ear was not mine but that of a total stranger, who looked aghast and walked swiftly away. Meanwhile I was prostrate with laughter on the floor. Still makes me laugh today.