Hagsnet - the crepey quiche

[saggarmakersbottomknocker]

Over here all you 40s and fading!

I actually feel surprisingly chipper, considering how much I drank. And how early I woke up. No doubt I'm due an early afternoon slump. Hmm... how to deal with that. The Shred or a snooze?

Ooh, we are a mini-quiche of Fading Middle Aged Hacks...

Saturday night. 3 glasses of wine. 2 hours of dancing. Brilliant night.

Not too bad yesterday. Today exhausted.

Should be going on to level three of the Shred today

The Shred or a snooze - is that a serious question?

I think you either need to really go for it or not bother. A couple of glasses of wine keeps me awake all night and I feel like crap all the next day. At least if I'm really pissed I can pass out.

I know kerry but it is the only thing that works! Strangely I have been all morning debating whether or not to go but every time I look in teh mirror I get my answer.

In fact someone shoot me now before I have to deal with MIL "asking" about my "work" again.

herb - the afternoon slump - I get that as well. The ds's usually come and poke me on the forehead when I drift off and start dribbling over the arm of the couch during phineas and ferb. They find my startled 'woken up suddenly' look very amusing.

Herbaceous - for chafed inner thighs try Lanacane anti-chafing gel - DH uses it for his "important areas" if he goes for a run in inappropriate shorts (happens surprisingly often - you'd think he'd learn).

Chuffing period arrived this morning - a week early this time, just to keep me on my toes.

Whoever asked a few pages back whether you worry you're pg when it's late - yes, it does cross my mind sometimes. Last month I was about 10 days late; bearing in mind he hadn't seen any bedroom action for weeks, DH was all set to interrogate the milkman.

An a cup is generaous on me too Pag, but I'm not complaining about that. Just the bingo wings, thunder thighs, gunt, and everything heading south

At least my legs don't chafe

Oh, and I've been having a period for over a week now - only a teaspoon a day though

There is an offer for a lady only bootcamp near me £275 for the week plus food and accommodation though looking at the schedule made my joints ache. Not sure I would make it through one workout let alone a week of it. And they exercise before breakfast That would finish me off.

For that money I'd be quite tempted....I think a bit of discipline might do me and my saddlebags some good.

Well, I went for the snooze option. And woke myself up with a cup of tea and some leftover 'flapjack bites' (hate 'bite' used as a noun) from last night. Oh dear. Someone come and give me a good spanking.

I'm about to polish off my planting. Maybe if I do it briskly enough, that will atone for of one of my sins.

Top tip for chafing thighs - when applying anti-perspirant to underarms after a shower, go on to apply it to any chafe-able areas between the thighs. Works a treat - thighs are silky not sticky (sadly still saddlebaggy though).

Re drinking, I'm generally okay as long as I eat while drinking. Which doesn't tend to be a problem. Watering drinks down with soda for sessions is a v good tip.

Sailorsgal - I won't be needing your bootcamp, because in a weak moment I succumbed to the DCs' demands for an "action holiday" and have signed the five of us up for a "Family Activity Week" at PGL in Devon, in August.

I'm not quite sure what possessed me, but I expect to come home several pounds lighter, covered in bruises, and just about ready for another week off.

I am a lazy shopper hence always m&s for underwear. I have no idea where my nearest rigby and peller is although I suspect they charge A Lot for their bras.

My breasts are getting bigger too. I lost weight last year hoping for a cup reduction but I think I am only pretending that they have decreased in size.

Oooh Sailorsgal will you post the name of your Bootcamp company?

Like the idea (as long as no running or wrist weight bearing - advanced bubble wrap popping acceptable )

Thanks for the tip about Shredding on fists herbaceous - will give it a go.

Slugs have eaten my hosta cos I wasn't quick enough with the pellets

Yes... post name of ladies only bootcamp. I need something like this. Can we get discount for a group booking of hagsnetters do you think?

That does seem very inexpensive, Sailorsgal. Just looking at another camp online and it is about four times that. Also checked menu . . . which unfortunately reminded me we have strawberries and double cream in fridge. (well, their menu actually said "strawberries and natural yogurt" but hey ho . . . .)

www.militaryfitnessbootcamp.co.uk click on budget bootcamp and they have had some cancellations hence the reduced price. Unfortunately its staying in caravans in Weymouth.

I'm more of a luxury retreat in the Maldives kind of girl. [wishful emotion]

Right, the duck salad is in recipes. Now, have we discussed acai berries? I want to know if they will magically tone me up and slim me down like it says so on the adverts. The trouble is, they don't seem very low carb. You can get them as a double whammy with some colon cleansing tablets as well, and I'm quite sure my colon must need cleansing my now, after 45 years of crap. Quite literally, as it goes.

Getting fed up with not shifting a single pound in two weeks and prepared to embrace faddy nonsense and desperate measures.

BIWI do you remember on tuther forum there was much ado about a product called Colon Cleanse? some people tried it and reported back IIRC.

Also I'm ready to buy a bulk load of Crest whitening strips for my teeth and I'm going to have some more dermal fillers I think. I thought I could cope since the last lot wore off about 18 months ago, but now I'm not so sure. I look shit.

What about colonic irrigation then? That's good for a few pounds off, surely? (I did say I was getting desperate.)

I'd like to know if the acai berries/colon cleanse works too. I bought that new book by Elle Mcpherson's persol Trainer today on amazon. Something about getting a flat tummy. Am very slightly paranoid since ds asked if I had a baby in my tummy as it was so big.

I tried a colon cleanse thing a couple of summers ago. Was based on a book - forget the name - but the guy basically put every ailment and complaint including weight gain down to having a backlog in the bowel area.

Had to take 'colon x' tablets after every meal, plus some poisonous-tasting drops (black walnut I think), which were to kill the parasites we're apparently all riddled with.

The aim was to achieve a bowel movement after every meal. Was okay for a few days, then I very nearly got caught short in spectacular fashion whilst waiting to meet DH in Topshop. Had to leg it to the loos, where there was a queue, then had to sit there for a good ten minutes letting nature take its prolific course. And I'm someone who never does a no2 in public. The shame.

Thing is, I was losing weight, without starving myself. I reckon if I could go away by myself for a month and never have to venture outside the front door, I'd do it again.

But you go ahead; don't let me put you off .