would you tell your teen dd that they should wax upper lip

[brimfull]

or not

I would gently suggest waxing.

I always had a hideous monobrow hairy legs and my mother was all "oh of course you're not too hairy". I'll never forgive her for letting me walk about like that!!

Did you not have a mirror?

Excuse me?

At 19 your mum "let you walk around like that"?

no I was about 14 but would have been grateful of the advice!

laser or elctrolysis - NOT shaving!!! I have regualr meetign with someone who very clearly shaves and I fee so wanting to tell her please to get permanent removal - she is in her 40's , but I dread to think fo teh sort of bastiness tennage girls would endure with shaving.

thanks for replies
She arranges her own sugaring

will suggest laser thingy

didn't realise sugaring was bad , don't think hers has grown back thicker at all
she's been getting it sugared for a few yrs

she's going travelling(for 3 months) in 6 weeks is that long enough for laser to work?

Not sure ggirl. Depends on her hair type/colouring etc. sometimes takes a few sessions.

Yes her hair may not be thicker right now but maybe 10 years or so might be more coarse. Have seen it a lot.

Most clinics will do a free consult.

If she is already sugaring it, could you not offer to pay for laser tx to get shot once and for all?

Sorry if I sound naive... but on the back of Veet wax strip packets for face, it says that it's clinically proven to make regrowth softer and finer... is this not the case?

www.bodyhairremovalnews.com/Does-Hair-Grow-Back-Thicker-When-You-Shave.

it's an urban myth that shaving hair makes it grow back thicker.

Honestly, she's nineteen, and she's already taking care of it. So she's not oblivious to the fact that she's hairy, and she's an ADULT. This is very different from a fourteen year old being reassured that they look alright.

All you're doing is telling her that you don't think she looks acceptable. It's no different from someone telling you that you should diet. I.e., rude and intrusive.

I might sound really silly here, but I'll do it anyway...

My father is half Bangladeshi, so I have dark hair by relatively pale skin. My mother is fair. When I was about 13 people at school started noticing my facial hair and so my mother told me about jolen and got me to bleach it like she did. She never told me about any of he other options and I sort of wish she had, because I hen got really paranoid about just having a blond moustach, which didn't show up on my mum but did on me. I was also sure that it made that area of my skin lighter than the rest of my face, although that could have just been paranoia as well!

Basically what I'm saying is, I know your daughter is 19 so is probably well aware of other options, but maybe she is nervous of tying them and/or being able to afford them. Maybe she would reall appreciate talking it through with someone she wont feel embarrassed about it with.

Blimey, she´s 19-old enough to decide for her self how & how often, surely?

I don't think this has anything to do with age; it's about what you discuss with your family. I regularly tell my mother what I think about her hair colour, buy her skin creams etc and she has opinions about my grooming. We are 44 and 73. It's been going on all our lives and will never stop!

I agree bonsoir, we are always honest with each other about clothes/hair etc .She came to me initially yrs ago (age 10)about her upper lip hair and she deals with it herself now.

She often asks for my opinion on her clothes and hair and we share makeup etc.I was unsure if I was stepping over the mark as to me it's glaringly obvious she needs to get rid of the hair more often than she does atm.

She has said she would like ipl on her upper lip and I'll help her to pay for it .Unfortunately she's going travelling for 3months at the beginning of may so don't know if we've got time to finish a course before then.

Bizarrely she is meticulously obsessed with having perfectly groomed eyebrows but ignores the obv tache.

I think it's different again when you're adult, though, Bonsoir. If my mum were to tell me now that I as wearing a colour that didn't work, or that my skirt was a terrible shape, I'd take it in my stride. When I was 19 it felt as if she was saying 'you've got it wrong, you're still a child'.

It also seems kind of mean given it's only hair, which people do feel differently about - it's not as if she's walking around with one odd sock or something.

I think that's entirely dependent on your relationship - in my family all of us comment on grooming etc to one another. My DD has a go at me if I ever dare not wear matching bra and pants!

I'd buy her Jolen bleach.

I've had a 'tache' forever and don't worry about it. I've bleached it once, but couldn't be bothered after that and only one person (who didn't even matter) has ever commented on it. I'd definitely veer her away from waxing, sugaring or shaving tbh.

"Yes her hair may not be thicker right now but maybe 10 years or so might be more coarse. Have seen it a lot."

How do you know that's down to waxing? Most people with a tendency to facial hair find they have coarser and more hair than they did 10 years earlier. Laser doesn't always offer a permanent or effective solution either. I had regular treatments on my face and neck, about 7 or 8 times I think. Within a year or two of that the hair had come back worse. Where I had blonde downy hair on the sides of my face it is now dark and coarser and don't even get me started on my neck! I am now having to have laser again because of this, but as a management option rather than believing it will do any long term good because waxing just gives me really bad ingrown hairs and spots.

OP, maybe next time you are in Boots with your DD you could say, "Oh, I need to get some wax strips for my 'tache" and get some for your basket. This will either get her thinking about it herself or saying to you "but you don't have a 'tache" and then you can say "Ahh, that's because I wax it before it gets a chance to make an appearance". You don't even have to ask her if she want you to get her some. If she wants to try it she may ask to borrow yours or go and buy some herself. That way you're not directing it at her or making her feel self conscious but you're covertly suggesting that it's an option.

I don't have upper lip hair that needs removing ,she hates the thought of waxing it herself ,I have suggested that.
We are very honest with each other about things like this which may not have come across in my OP.
The only niggle I have is if I should say somehting when her grwoth is obvious in between appts.
Tis sorted now anyway ,spoke to her last night before she went away for a few days, will arrange something when she gets back.
Thanks for all your thoughts.

See what you mean Bonsoir - sounds as if it was all fine anyway.

You won't have time for lasering/IPL before she goes travelling and it's not a good idea if she's going to be anywhere sunny, as sun exposure within a month of a session can cause weird skin pigmentation patches.

It might be a good option after she's back. It works best if you have dark hair and pale skin.

Perhaps she can´t afford to go any more than she already does?

Havingkittens it may not be the case 100% of the time, I was merely giving my experience of 15 years in the beauty industry, during which, as I and colette said - I have seen it a lot.

Laser also is not 100% as although I'm not an expert in this, I know it depends on the type of hair, the persons colouring etc. That is why I recommended a consult as they should be able to give the client an idea of success rate.

I suggested laser as an alternative to a lifetime of waxing/plucking/shaving. It's now so cheap that it makes more sense financially as well if you get it done early enough.