Whatever you want, whatever you like, be WISE and AVID, so do your sums, and get it right....!

[DolceeBanana]

New thread...sorry bit lame compared to normal, but thought I'd bite the bullet (as it were)....

bet it Chesneys Tracey

Bloss....wowee! Gorgeous photo and love jacket!

Loobylu- can I be added too purleese? Thanks

Oh Roma ? that is so very hard. I would be inclined to talk to the other mothers if you know them well (though I know the wider MN vote would probably be not to!). I would feel very upset if DS was behaving like that towards someone and I wasn?t told (and vice versa). I do agree that the violence thing is just an age thing (I got a bit freaked by my kind and gentle boys drawings but the teacher said it was normal)?but this ganging up is not fair and needs to be stopped quickly.

Fleecy ? a packed service is a attribute to him isn?t it? It must have been hard for you though.

Tracey ? it?s interesting DS wants to invite the boy over?maybe that will help heal things a little? It may throw up an insight as to why it happened. But I totally agree the worry and heartache is totally different at this stage. It?s so physical early on?worrying about health things more than anything?and now it?s everything else thrown in as well!

In that case, I'd speak to your DS1's class teacher before bringing it up with the parents. IME some nationalities think it deeply weird if parents get involved directly in their children's disputes.

x-post with everyone!

Hells - I think basically DS is just a much nicer person than me Honestly I make the mafia seem forgiving

Red - I know - I mean the girls dressed incredibly provocatively but then had these views that were more suited to the 15th century - utterly bizarre.

Roma - I would be careful to be honest at talking directly to the other mothers because I think they would be defensive as LTEC said and also I think that bullying behaviour should be flagged straight away to the school. They need to be told by the school that such behaviour is unacceptable.

But I guess I'm very aware that my children could be in the same classes as their 'friends' for 15 years so I always feel I have to tread lightly really. Also the school is very very good at dealing with friendship issues in a fair way.

Roma ds is in a best friend thing in a group of three. And golly I haves seen how they can change in a flash. The teachers were incredible and dealt with it quickly when ds was the one with the tough time.

Even though I am friends with the mothers I am glad I didn't say anything to them as the boys forgot it and were bfs again the next day. I know one mother is v sensitive and it might have been difficult for longer.

zembo hope you have managed to see GP, have had a scan, etc. Will you let us know that you are okay? :)

Re weight/ eating question. I am very fortunate in that I can eat what I like at present (including chocolate/ cakes, etc) and don't put on weight. I find that I need to eat three decent meals a day and usually snacks in between to maintain my weight (somewhere around 58-60kg) at 5 ft 7 1/2.
I don't feel healthy if I loose a lot of weight. I had one period as a student when I was 19 or so when I was faddy about food (eating small/ healthy meals, no chocolate, etc) and dropped to 50kg. I was v skinny (unattractive when I see pics) and my periods stopped completely for some time so not good. The only other occasion was when I was breast feeding DD1. She was a v poor sleeper and I didn't really take care of myself and became quite skinny (not as bad as the first time and not deliberately). I felt awful- tired, hot flushes/ sweats, bad insomnia, constantly picking up minor illnesses, etc. Subsequently, I was v careful to feed myself postnatally and felt much better.
I think that if I did put on weight more easily, I would definitely be careful with my diet and exercise more.

bloss- I love your knew LKB dress. In fact, I'm thinking of getting the blue one! I also have those Gap perfect trousers in grey and find them v useful for work. However, I don't have as many Breton tops as you so not your style twin yet :)

fleecy- sorry to hear about your ex boyfriend's father's funeral- very sad for them all :(

roman- that sounds v unpleasant for your DS. Has it being a consistent thing or just this incident today? Have you been able to discuss it with the teacher?
It is so horrible for the parents when your child is being picked on as well as for the child.

tracey- I agree- babies a very tiring but emotional/ behavioural issues, etc much harder as they get older. Plus you become a teacher at home and a chauffeur too!

cake I knew what you meant. But now that you mention it... I did put 3st7lb on in pregnancy. Eeek!

carciofi what excellent taste I have!

roma I think tracey makes a good argument for speaking to the school first.

tracey I am loving the stationery treat for your DS! And I?ve taken your advice and popped gypsy weddings in the planner for tomorrow.

Yes zembo am hoping you?re okay

Tracey does make very good points on the talking to the school first front. Also, their teacher will be very well-versed in dealing with this sort of thing and I guess there's no way of knowing how the parents would deal with it.

I have some brand-new trousers, free to a good home. They are high-waisted, paper bag, tapered leg black lightweight numbers in a size 10. I bought them at the height of pregnancy and they're already too big. Any takers?

I'm finding all the diet and body image posts fascinating.

It's amazing how your opinion of yourself can shift. When I fell pregnant with DS, I was 5ft 1 and nearly 11 stone. I hated how I looked and felt in clothes, and therefore clothes shopping, but felt curvaceous and sexy in myself. I'm now 8 st 11 and like myself in clothes but hate my poor pregnancy ravaged body.

There's no doubt that I look much better for losing the weight but I do now scrutinise myself much more closely and with a critical eye. I do wonder how much my newfound interest in clothes and awareness of models and the ideal shape fuels this?

llama I didn't know you had the Sahara too? How does it work with your upper half? Thanks bloss for the tip!

right - I can't resist...does anyone know what channel gypsy weddings was on? I will try and find it on catch up tv!

I don't Oooh, just admiring from afar. Sadly there is no place for such a dress in my life. You have reason to wear such a smart dress though, hey? Give it a whirl, why don't you.

Well done on the weight-loss too. Very impressive.

It is very much in 4od Hells. Enjoy!

On, even

roma How awful for your DS and you too! Maybe as tracey said it would be easier to address the problem with the teacher but I have no idea what your school is like. Hope you'll get some support soon!

tracey Lovely MrBath for trying to cheer you up!

DH said sorry by coming home unannounced tonight before DDs bedtime so he could read her a story and held her hand until she fell asleep. Apology accepted but the whole thing has left me a bit worried about our relationship. We had a weekend away last year as bonsoir suggested and that wasn't a success as we felt even more tense and estranged with each other without DD around. Hope it is just a rough patch and will try my best to make it work again...

Interesting to read about all the different attitudes towards weight and dieting. Still it is a bit sad that so many of us are not happy with the way their bodies look and have issues with food for different reasons (including myself here). I often have cake for lunch too as I cannot bear to deny myself certain food groups completely. Stepping on the scales when I am unhappy with my body is a sure way to ruin my day as I can't stop obsessing about dieting/exercising/food. So I hardly ever do it. And I never mention anything negative about my or other people's bodies in front of DD. Aged 4.5 she is still proud of her belly and I hope that she doesn't become insecure too soon or better not at all.

ollie Step away from the scales and enjoy Zumba! I'm sure everyone will be lovely in their own way at the meet-up and there won't be a weigh-in. Or did I miss something?!

bloss Love your avidness for putting together such a fab work wardrobe!

fleecy That must have been a difficult day for you and yet you sound so positive. Will call my parents tomorrow..

verity Sounds like you had a busy day. Virtual hugs much appreciated.

Has anyone heard from lovely zembo? Hope she is ok.

Fleecy-sorry to hear about your afternoon. I am sure the family appreciated you being there.

^Roma I dont think I would talk to the parents direct.

HF!!! Need your help re 'do' at Shriv and what to wear. Need to ensure I dont scupper DHs chances of KCB/knighthood by wearing wrong frock

Roma, DS was in a similar stuation last year. It's horrible and brings out murderous qualities in me. They'll be in the same class again next year which is a shame as ds loves being with yr 2 this year. Hope you get it sorted.
looby, the dress in blue looks amazing!
It's very strange I took a photo of myself in the grey trousers, red and white Breton and fuchsia cardigan (somehow it works) and the buttons don't look so bad! Very strange.
Thanks ltec, bad influence carciofi!

thanks Red. Off to find it now. I may be some time.

NY how did your interview go?

Roma - that sounds awful for your DS. I would second / third talking to the teacher as your first port of call. But no harm speaking to the parents as well, perhaps in a casual way (casual on the surface anyway). I think 3s are very difficult in terms of friendships. Always elements of insecurity, jealousy & competition that don't seem to exist in bigger groups or 2 best friends. I really hope you get it sorted.

Tracey I was definitely like this watching it - their attitudes were so naive and archaic but the clothes and the dancing . The bit that got me though was the little girl turning up at her first communion in that ghastly dress to be pointed at and laughed at by her school friends. .
I love my bee btw.

Cake - you look so beautiful and slim in your wedding picture. I know you like being skinny but surely 9.5 -10 stone would be a good compromise if you fancy a bit of a break? I realise it's not that black and white for you but just wanted to give my simplistic opinion

fritzi, hope you have a nice evening with your dh.

Fritzi sorry it feels that way at the moment and i hope you and your dh find a way through this rough patch. He's lucky to have you and I'm sure that he knows that. Parenting and work and the minutiae of life can be so incredibly wearing on relationships. A friend of mine and I were laughing (but hollow laughing) the other day about how we spend ages every day negotiating over who gets the orange crayon - yet when it comes ot life decisions with dh, we don't ever get a chance to speak. ANd then when the chance is there, we avoid conversation for fear of it escalating into something we don't want to deal with Like - oh god no, I don't actually want to know what you think!

I have 3 things in my NAP basket - idle toying, mind:

easy white tee, still quite exxy for what is essentially just a white tee - not really worth it surely?

could be a much better day dress than the ASOS one I got today?

more sequins, surely unnecessary

a bit too disco ball, no?

My name is Choo and I'm addicted to crap TV. ANTM, Glee, Good Wife..and Yes Tracy I did see Gypsy wedding - all that synthetic material and what is this 'grabbing' business? .

Still no LV scarf

Interesting debate on sex of children. Always worked f/t, DP at home and have a DD. We are a female dominated family in more ways than one. I have two sisters, and both parents had more sisters than brothers.

Tracey so sorry for DS. Roma I agree with those who say to speak with the teacher.

Cake your self control when it comes to diet is astounding. I probably need to lose a stone before MOAMU. I don't eat badly - Pret Bircher Museli for breakfast; sushi for lunch; chicken for dinner (+wine) so think I need to up the exercise.

Booked another holiday today which has put me in the mind of SS11. These are out of stock so it is a moot point, but what do you think?

Oh crikey Fritzi - a weigh in at the meet up - what bizarre cult have I joined here! I'm sure the tough patch with DH is just a bit of a blip - it is so hard but you are lovely and sensible and you will definitely get through it.

OWW - Mr Dukan would have me lose three quarters of a stone and insists on sending me emails about it. I am ignoring him and dancing away my wobbly bum (well, trying to) You carry on doing the same and we'll be fine.

Oooh - that's a big difference! I only put on about a stone when I was pregnant. I feel awful about it all now but I hated getting 'fat' and was so self conscious when I started to show. Was pleased that I only had a small bump but then felt terribly guilty (and still do) when midwife et al decided that DD was too small and induced me early with her.

Cake - I make that 4 things & like them all, esp the dress but do you really want to pay that much for a white t shirt??

Very much like the day dress. It knows what it is, the ASOS one was trying to be too many things at once.

Top looks to be very sheer, although a lovely drape to it.

Not such a fan of either glittery number.

Choo glad to see there is someone else who is into all of the rubbish telly. Realised I'd outed myself as a watcher of crap by responding to comments on nearly every programme that's been on in the last two years

red- the trousers sound nice but I am pear shaped and I think they may make my bottom look even larger in proportion. I have tender to avoid Peg trousers for this reason even though I do like them!
Re that brief drudgery discussion earlier. It does become a bit easier as the DC get older as they can help out quite a lot. Mine (older two only) are responsible for tidying their toys, clearing their plates after eating, putting clothes in the laundry basket, etc. I don't want to encourage them to see their mummy as a domestic servant because it is a role I do not enjoy! :)

OOh- a v impressive wt loss. I bet no one else who sees you is thinking about your 'pregnancy ravaged body'. They are probably thinking how slim and fit you look and feeling jealous!

bloss- I agree about people/ children being mean/ unpleasant to DCs makes one see red!
If the incident is minor or not a regular occurrence though, I tend to help them to deal with it themselves. Some children seem to have quite a thick skin by the time they get to school or deal with minor unpleasantries better than others. My DS tends to just ignore anything unpleasant or walk away with a nonchalant look whereas my DD1 has been very sensitive which has actually made the problem worse.
Obviously, if/ when things are more persistent/ unpleasant, speaking to the teacher is definitely the right thing to do. I would tend not to d/w the mothers as you really can't tell how they will react unless you know them v well.
Tempted by the blue dress but must wait as have totally overspent this month!