Wise ladies....step this way and Avidly share your most fabulous fashion finds .....

[notyummy]

Hello all!

Cake - come back we neeeeeed you to tell us about your holiday....

I mean, I used to have a job which paid well...sorry!

carciofi, I have two pairs of russell & bromley 'loopy lous'. One in black patent, they're like court shoes with a slight platform, and one in suede. I've never worn the suede ones, oops, but the patents go with everything!! I think they have them in all the time. £155. Or go edgy, and wear black opaques and get the shoe boots!!
Where are you off to? I'm out too, probably in the Bec.

apuski, I love the sound of that shirt dress. I swear, the only well dressed person I saw in St Tropez was wearing a pink shirt dress. Will definitely be looking out for one for next year. Sounds like you have a busy weekend. Hope it goes well, and great about the weight gain. I had it for years with dc2. To the point they wanted her tube fed. Such stress. I even got a lunch time visit from the feeding specialist and the consultant paediatrician. To my house! I know your situation is very different, but it brought it all back!

ollie, enjoy your stew. I did have a look for it in my Nigella books, but carciofi beat me to it! Can you imagine making a coffee cake and not tasting any of it. Can't give in though with my birthday round the corner!

notyummy, I have got my train ticket for the meet up already. I think there was a consensus to meet at 2pm in the Wolsely. Am I right. Should we book?

dolcee, I feel the same. DH has NO idea what things cost. He gives me a set amount every month to cover everything, which it barely does. Will definitely have to ask for handouts this month. This birthday party is costing me a fortune. Sorry you're all poorly.

Hi Bloss...hmmm...thanks...okay. Do you mind me asking what (if it's not toooo cheeky) what percentage of his salary he gives you each month? And what its expected to cover?Don't worry if you'd rather not...just good for me to benchmark...thanks

Is it wrong to not know what his salary is? We don't have a joint a/c. We sat down six years ago and worked out what I needed re food shopping, mobile, other expenses, clothes, hair and make up. But it's not enough any more. I used to get carer's allowance which was very generous and a few hundred a month for teaching evening classes. Without those two I'm struggling. He does pay for my London trips so I feel bad asking for more. He is just so sensible. The best way I suppose. Sorry, that's not much help is it?

Is it wrong to not know what his salary is? We don't have a joint a/c. We sat down six years ago and worked out what I needed re food shopping, mobile, other expenses, clothes, hair and make up. But it's not enough any more. I used to get carer's allowance which was very generous and a few hundred a month for teaching evening classes. Without those two I'm struggling. He does pay for my London trips so I feel bad asking for more. He is just so sensible. The best way I suppose. Sorry, that's not much help is it?

Yes mine sensible too....just a bit too much at times I feel...we don't have a joint account either...just a set amount, but he's v querying on any 'incidentals' etc...i.e. things for me..

Would you prefer to have a joint account Dolce?

(we don't as my account is for se stuff. So dh does all bills, fees etc and I get to spend my £ on a&w habit. I like it as I feel free enough and don't ever have to see the gas bill etc. Dh is happy either way joint or not).

I do think it helps to feel in control together. What would you like?

We have joint account that we pay the same % of each of our incomes into i.e he pays more in than me. That pays mortgages/food/utilities etc.

When I was maternity leave I had statutory mat pay (due to being self-employed prior to pregnancy) and child benefit paid into my account and I used these for coffees/clothes/presents etc, plus he paid money into my account to cover all my outgoings that I wanted to keep going - mobile/pension/life insurance.

I spent most of the money in the joint account. We use microsoft money to keep track of expenditure in all of our accounts, but we don't look at each others accounts (password protected) - we both have access to joint account too. We also have a joint savings account/bonds etc as well as separate provision.

We do very similar to you notyummy.

After mortgage, bills, childcare, pension, savings etc we end up with equal amounts of 'spendies' for enjoyment each month (not loads, but enough really)

We just have one joint current account for everything - apart from savings etc. Both our pay goes into joint account and I save from that what I think we can on a month to month basis.

Hello again,

yummy I agree, your new blue dress looks fab, glad you are keeping it (I crossed posts the other night with you and didnt see your pics till just now!)

whelk I am very much in the same boat as you re DCs. I have 2 and would love another one, DH is very adament we will have no more. I am slowly getting used to the fact and really trying to make the most of the things we can do without a baby in tow..

Roma love those boots, gorgeous!

yangy your work schedule does sound incredibly tough, you are doing an amazing job! I agree with the tips to cut corners wherever you can to reduce the stress, especially try to increase your cleaners hours a bit short term to get back on an even keel

Apuski fab news on baby A putting on all that weight

Had my first run in with DS1's school today
He has only been there 2 and a bit weeks! Thought he had been doing REALLY well considering I was expecting it to go not 100% smoothly (he has ASD and not great with change) but has been fine up till now and his teacher v reassuring that he is settling in brilliantly.
Anyway this afternoon I had a phone call from the school office telling me that they had had several complaints that DS is too 'lively' at drop off/pick up times and that they are all concerned he will run into the road and get injured, as its a very busy road you know and please could I make an effort to watch him more closely/control him better!
I was SO cross! Yes DS is lively and no, he doesnt walk nicely beside me or hold my hand (he would FLIP if I were to try and hold his hand) but he is ALWAYS safe and I am fully aware of where he is and near to him etc.
I spoke to his teacher when I picked him up and told her all that, was so wound up by it that I burst into tears so embarrassed!
But she was lovely and reassured me that she did not agree with the phone call and was perfectly happy that DS is safe and that I manage him as best I can considering his ASD. The playground staff who complained are not aware that he has ASD! Teacher is going to make them all aware and ask them to back off luckily.
Feel embarrased to go in tomorrow now after my tears today, a bit OTT of me maybe?

Aw Fel1x- sorry to hear that! Why don't other parents mind their own business? You know whether your ds is safe and I am sure he is Its not OTT of you to be upset.

In my head I probably know stopping at 2 dcs makes sense but I am having to work very hard on my heart!

Fel1x - it is not OTT of you to cry. Starting kids at school is stressful enough without someone having a go at you for something that is not deserved. It makes you feel like you have done something wrong when you haven't. I find it hard not to tear up at things now and my dd is 13!

You poor thing Felix, why are other people so interfering?
We don't have a joint account. DH hasn't a clue about what "incidentals"(!) cost. He pays mortage,utilities etc and I pay childcare, food bills, and anything to do with DC. Bought him shoes recently and he was aghast at the cost! And they weren't even that £££. I couldn't bear someone scrutinising my spending habits. I'm very good with managing my money, and save a good amount and I like having complete control over how I spend it. DH is useless at money managing in general, but luckily good at making it! I always say to him "you should give me your money and then you wouldn't have any overdraft"! Won't do it though!

fel1x am so sorry that that happened. Not OTT at all. Very happy that DS1 is settling in well and you know what? people will always put their 2 cents in. Ignore them - you are his mum and you know what to do for the best.

Dolce am also very sorry to hear that you are feeling low. Big clink of glasses with you, since hugs are not the done thing

bake-athon going here - Macmillan coffee morning tomorrow plus 2x birthdays for my littlest bubba on the weekend

Interesting all this talk of more babies.

how you doing, bigfoot?

Bunny I love the idea of twins. Not sure how I'd cope though considering the parneting in our household is not exactly shared (MAJOR understatement!)

Reine seeing you back on here reminded me I was supposed to report back on my airer. I've started to use it now and again and it does do the job. It's quite a large item though. I usually leave stuff on overnight and it's dry by the morning. I've found that clothes dry better if I lay them flat rather than hang them over the bars. I think it'll come into it's own when the weather turns miserable and I can't line dry anymore.

Notyummy I could learn a few lessons from you on organising my life! My DH's attitude towards money is simple, I can spend what I like (from our joint account to which only he contributes) as long as we're not overdrawn and any money I earn is mine to spend as I please. Sounds like I've got a good deal there, but when we got married I sold my house and paid off his (significant) mortgage, so it all balances out. I'm not actually sure why I've got a separate account as our finances have become very mixed . DH doesn't have any idea how much stuff costs or what I spend. By the way got anymore recipes

menu planning for idiots

haven't been using it but getting the daily emails and it seems quite good.

Cakey been wondering if you're in the middle of a bakeathon and could a 4th be on the cards for you?

Agree with others comments fel1x and Dolcee really sorry re: how you're feeling.

Rufus I'm miles better than DH at managing mmoney too and he is sensible enough to let me be in control .

Fel1x I have a theory that parents behave like the children they once were when they get back into the playground!

Evening ladies,

Got back from hols Tues but have been busy working since. Have just caught up but skimmed so may have missed things...

ltec so sorry to hear about your friends' little boy

plum have bookmarked your blog to read shortly

Lots of birthdays coming up these next few weeks!

I forgot to buy my train ticket before holiday so will purchase tomorrow.

Night all!

zembo how were your brownies?