Relapse

[MillieA4]

I bought my first pack since I was trying to conceive 9 years ago. My daughter has been waking us all up every night because she wets the bed. Anyway, I have been very tired and stressed so I caved. When I smoked before I only got through 5 or 6 cigarettes every day. I am thankfully not hooked again but I have secretly missed it. Should I not beat myself up about it? Also, my daughter hates smoking and doesn’t know that I used to while at medical school. Should I tell her, and if not, should I start vaping so she can’t smell it? I don’t really want to stop right now, even though I am not hooked yet.

I'm afraid if your looking for ways to carry on it sounds like you are hooked again already. I gave up 13 years ago (for the 3rd and final time!), I still miss it occasionally but I know I can't have another - one is too many and 2 is too few and all that. I don't really view myself as a non/ex-smoker, I'm a smoker that chooses not to smoke.

No judgement, don't beat yourself up but equally do chuck the rest of the pack out if you don't intend to start again.

@JoyeuxNarwhal
Maybe, I am more worried about my daughter finding out. Should I get a vape or something to try it?

@JoyeuxNarwhal
But surely 1 will be fine

@JoyeuxNarwhal
I might have another one it won’t hurt

Only you can make that call really! I have managed to get to a happy medium and have zero intentions to quit but I smoke so rarely I think it’s fine. By that I mean in average in a year I have 4-5 cigarettes and that’s all. I always have an open pack at home but never have more than that. I am sometimes worried one of the kids may notice if they are up after I’ve been back on a night out when I’ve had one but it’s not happened. I wouldn’t want them to know.

Hi @MillieA4 you can join Nicotine Anonymous online zoom meetings if you want to quit smoking x