dealing with feelings of being a step-parent

[valentine5]

hi everyone,i have posted a few messages on the board today as this is my first time i have used the site properly,i was just wondering if anyone had any advice on dealing with being a step-parent, i find it so hard sometimes and i wanted some views on how to deal with the emotions and resentment you sometimes feel, does it get better over time? xx

Looptheloop really struck a chord with my feelings and it was comforting to know others feelings are all over the place just like mine. My step son is not turning out how I hoped he would. I have helped raise him since he was 2 and he lives with us. Since he turned 13 he's stolen from me, lies all the time, smokes, we've had the police talk to him twice, his schoolwork has plummeted and he's pushing to live with his mum. My DH won't let him live there until he's finished school due to the original neglect that caused him to live with him, which still continues. We have an 8 month old son now. I have been so upset by how my SS has deteriorated in the last year I have begun to withdraw from him and DH is talking a stronger role (whereas it was the other way round) or I just feel depressed. I need to give my son the best childhood I can which is all I've tried to do with my ss. I feel totally rejected by him and all my care of him his life is thrown back in my face. I don't want to reduce my role with him but he doesn't want my interest or input either(or so it appears).Step parenting feels sh** at the moment.

Hi all, I'm very new to mumsnet and I just want to thank you all for the insight and for showing me that I am not alone.
I have been experiencing a great deal of guilt over feelings of resentment for my partners past. With our relationship comes SD who is a gorgeous little thing who I love dearly. I do however feel some resentment due to the limitations on our new life as a young couple and I fear my first born being not as special an experience for my partner. I really hate feeling like this and though I knew my parter had a daughter you can never be quite prepared for what the reality of being SM is. I hope this gets easier I really do. I am trapped feeling resentment at being the love of my lifes 2nd priority and know this is really silly. I'm ordinarily an intelligent rational person but jeez this is hard. Seeing the little face smiling and loving SD but having her face as a reminder of what I wont share with my partner and that we can never get away from his ex hurts.
Thanks again xx