Would you still give a bday gift to adult step child?

[Anuta77]

Just wondering, because it's the first time that it happens like that, but step daughter turned 19 at the beginning of november. She normally would visit us every 2 weekends, but obviously with time, she skips some weekends and since September, I only saw her once.
So I might see her only over 3 weeks after her bday or even later if she doesn't come next weekend (which would be a couple of days after my own bday, so kind of strange to be giving her a gift).
Would you still give her a gift? We have a good relationship, but are not very close and by then, her bday will be long gone. I don't have any ideas for a gift, other than a gift card or money.

Yes, I would. I’d just say I hoped she’d had a lovely birthday and here was some money to buy herself something nice.

Are you with her parent? Did they not send a gift from you both?
I personally think it’s best to continue.

Are you still with her dad? Just get him to put your name on the present he gets her.

We usually each give our own gift and I prefer giving personally and not just send it, as I expected her to come a few days later.

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Yes, absolutely give her a gift. Is this a gift from just you, or you and her Dad?.
I assume you’ve always bought her something?
Either way, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t wish her a belated birthday and give her a gift when you see her?

Edited to add: I see it’s just from you

Yes of course, why not?
Birthday presents aren't just for children.

I can't imagine not giving my adult children something for their birthdays just because they're adults and I don't see them every week.

Of course. They’re close family.

Her bday passed already and DH already gave his gift and I was expecting to see her and give it to her, but she was cancelling the visits due to her plans.

I always get my step daughter a gift, it’s from me and her dad and if I’m not going to see her I’ll post it. I’ll do that until the day I die!

Of course - she's a young adult and is going to be busy but she is still family!

I wished her happy bday of course, but I didn't see her, so didn't give the gift. Yes, I always gave her something, it's just never happened that I would see her almost a month after.

I have a step grandchild who turned 18 this year. I can’t imagine NOT giving him a gift next year or every year thereafter.

I think it is really weird that his gift wasn't fron you both.

Right, in my situation, I would see weeks after, so I have the impression that she already moved on from her bday.

Won't she get you a present for your birthday/Christmas etc? This always somewhat confuses me on this, and all equivalent niece/nephew/grandchildren threads. I was buying my grandparents and uncles etc presents by the time I was an adult so I don't think it occurred to me that they would stop buying me gifts (and they haven't).

That's your opinion, we don't have to give a joint gift. She asked him for some cream, I think it's weird to be 2 people to be buying a cream and it's much nicer to get more gifts. Unless she asked for something expensive, then we could have shared.

No, she never gives me anything for my bday which is actually coming either a couple of days after she comes (if it's next weekend) or a couple of days after (if it's the weekend after).

She’s 19, hardly a grown up. Give her a gift.

My mum does, for her stepchildren who are now in their 40s. She loves them just as much as she loves me and my brother.

Same.

Of course you should give her a gift!

Yes - give the gift. Don't worry about the timing. If you don't give anything, you're signalling that you've stopped caring.

If she doesn't get you a gift, then no.

So weird that you’re refusing to post it for no reason other than “I prefer to give it in person”. It’s not about you

Jesus, of course. Fucks sake.