Young man dating a Single Mother

[ThisPeachOrca]

As title, I'd like to hear from other mothers as I'm quite young.

I'm a 25 year old man who met another 25 year old woman 3 months ago. We're great together and have the same mind concerning future goals etc. She has a child that is 4 years old but says the child lives with her mother and has done for years.. and that she is not close with her own daughter compared to her mother (why she would tell me this, I don't know).

Now.. I like this woman a lot, and I mean a lot; she also likes me a lot and has said it.. "I'd be happy to be with you". But I want to hear from single mothers (or mothers in general) on what is the wise thing to do. I'm aware the child's father is still in communication with the child and the child's grandmother, but the extent of his involvement, I don't know, apparently it's just financial support but I didn't dive deeper as I could tell she didn't like talking about it - maybe the way I asked her was too blunt. I don't enjoy the idea of potentially dealing with him in the future. Though she herself claims to "not have spoken to him in years".

Are there questions I can ask her or myself to make a more informed decision?

Different opinions from friends/family.

I don't agree that it's automatically the case that because Grandma is raising daughter then there's SS involvement and drugs. I have an acquaintance with a similar arrangement. Mum just got pregnant very young and was immature and still living at home at the time. Grandma didn't want Mum to miss out in things like college etc. Person I know is still considered mum but her son remained living with grandma whilst daughter moved out and had 4 more children with 3 different dads. Personally, it's not the being a single mother that's the issue but the little contact with her own child. Red flag.

I think that it comes down to how much you like this girl? I'm getting the sense you're keen to explore things with her.

Let me guess, she's got the big stupid filled lips, massive lashes, meticulously kept brows, and acrylic nails?

How was it organised for young students when you are both mature students far older than the average university pupil?

The fact that the child is in Senegal makes this more normal as often other cultures thegrandma raises the kids while mum makes money. It’s likely if you did get together you would have little contact with the child however she will probably send money home to the child and her wider family for the rest of her life. If you married her you’d need to be ok with that.