right so how do we deal with this??????

[desperatelyneedtoknow]

ss is 8.5 and has become a litlle bit of a pain in the bum. i love him lots but at the minute i really don't like him-he has started plying everyone off and being rude etc and the other day he told his mom that he was gonna go and live with his dad!!!! because she told him off my husband thinks its funny but i certainly don't and soon wiped the smile off his face when i said wait til your turn but how DO we deal with it for me he is very good [me being the wicked stepmum who is strict]

Sounds like normal kid behaviour to me! Just make sure you talk to his mum so you both know whats going on - that way he can't play off too much. Both my DSD's tried to play us off, but their Mum and I make sure we communicate so they don't get one over on us (too often!).

Re the I'm going to live with my Dad/Mum stuff, I would advise to just ignore it.

Sounds like you're dealing with it fairly splendidly, tbh.

Your DH otoh, sounds like the weak link. If he finds it funny that his DS tries to play off the important adults in his life against each other, he's asking for trouble in future when your SS will have had many more years of practice. I'd concentrate on the adult weak link tbh, if that's sorted then you'll all be able to deal with the child in a perfectly competent manner.