Bedroom dilema and SD

[Sleepingbunny1]

Soooooo, please bear with me as this is a very new situation.

Ive just moved in with new partner, 3 bed house and 3 children between us.

None can share rooms, my DS 15 & DD 12 is SEN so needs her own space and we have now partners DD 13 to consider, at the beginning her mother said there is no way she will ever be allowed to stay with us, but now its all changed and we are due to have her one day in the week and every Fri or Sat nights at the weekend, but we have no spare sleeping spaces, she is also SEN, so i dont really want her using the master bedroom as she is very destructive and dosent really respect things that arent hers, or do we set up a camp bed or sofa bed in the front room for her.

This is all new and tricky to nagivate at the moment and i dont wish to upset anyone in these sleeping arrangements.

I really think you should have factored this in before moving in, what if something were to happen to this poor childs mother and she ended up with you full time? Tomorrow isn't promised to anybody.

A home should be a home for all the children irrespective of whether thats for 1 night a week or 7 nights per week, or even if the plan was not to have them at all, as again, you never know what the future holds.

If no rooms can be converted then you will have to give up your bedroom. It's the only solution until you (hopefully expeditiously) move to a larger property.

you’ve made an extremely strange decision as the two adults here, so it’s the two adults that must bear the consequences till you can buy a 4 bed.
she gets the master bedroom, you 2 adults sleep on a camp bed in the living area.

Why can't she have her own space if she's SEN and your DD has her own space and shes SEN.

She needs to be somewhere she is safe and feels wanted.

I know. Depressing isn't it. Not even been with the bloke 3 months and already moved 3 teenagers (all with SEN apparently) into a house together. And to top it off, the teenage girl doesn't even get her own room and is resigned to a camp bed in the living room because her dad and new bit on the side put their own needs and wants above their children.

Lovely.

Why did you move out of the family home and into an insecure rental with a new man you can’t have known more than 5 minutes?

Especially since your kids don’t want to see their dad - so why didn’t you stay in the house?

In July you were saying they didn’t want to see their dad and he wasn’t in the family home so why did you leave when he wasn’t there?

I am usually on the side of the stepmum because I find that they are given an unnecessarily hard time on here but WHAT were you thinking @Sleepingbunny1? Why on earth should your SEN children's needs be prioritised and not your SDs?! The only solution is for her to have your bedroom when she stays over and even that's not ideal - you've set up a situation where she will always feel like the interloper. Get her special bedding which is put on your bed when she stays, at least, so she's not sharing your sheets.

Poor child - treated like an after thought by everyone. It's not OK.

God, I just saw this. SO depressing.

Poor kids :(

Everyone is piling into the OP but she is renting, its not always possible to find what is needed at the time and in budget?
No idea on a solution though other than giving her the master and parents moving to a sofa bed

She owned a house with her ex husband that he wasn’t living in in July. Why would she have left that by September?

What kind of father moves into a house that he knows can’t accommodate his child?

What a catch!

Everyone is piling on the OP because she has met and moved her kids in with a new man less than 3 months after separating from her husband / children's father.

And moved out of a mortgaged house that her husband wasn’t living in in July into an inadequate rental with a new man by mid September.

Though, strangely, was already a single parent in mid-2024, so....

Some people just prioritise their sex lives over their children. @Sleepingbunny1 and her new man are 2 of them.
Maybe her children’s father may step up and safeguard them.

Hmmm. Anyone else smell something funny?

I’m not normally sympathetic to the op in these self-made situations, but, given the pile on (inc me above), bear in mind that if her children have SEN, I’m going to hazard a guess at ND, then the parent, the op has too. Probably totally unsupported in her own childhood. Thus she is likely to make the kind of impulsive, yet completely silly in hindsight, that we forgive our ND children for.

What an unholy mess.

You should not have rented a place together until you found somewhere that had enough rooms for all of you!

You are being selfish and disregarding his daughter’s needs and putting your own children first and he has done a terrible disservice to his daughter by not providing a room for her.

Terrible behaviour from the pair of you.

A friend of mine sleeps in the livingroom when his son spends the night. The sons room is designed for the son and the dad sleeps there when son is at the mums.

you either all move out and get a 4 bed, or your boyfriend moves out and provides for his child.

This is the only real solution imo

Why the rush to move in when you cannot adequately house all the children involved?

What a shit show two adults thinking of their sex lives before their own children.

Look on Pinterest for ideas on how to use bunk beds to give each dc their own space..