Lost for my purpose

[butterfly172]

Hi,
I'm 42 and childfree by choice.

I'm about to get married to a wonderful man and I'm a step-parent to his 3 adult children, whom all accept me and me them.

However, since my SD had her baby, I'm wondering what purpose I have in this life if I chose not to be a mum?

Does anyone have any advice? Feeling like I'm stuck in a rut of life and don't know what my purpose is if not a parent.

Do any of us really have a purpose? Some people bring up children and see them through to adulthood, and then feel purposeless because those kids don't need them any more. Other people put all their effort into their work, and then feel at a loose end once they're retired. Unless you're Mother Theresa, you don't need a big important Purpose to live a good and worthwhile life.

Have you heard of the book Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman? It's very thoughtful on the topic of how we choose to live our lives - you might find it helps you reframe your question.

There is more to life than being a parent, I try to live my life with the philosophy that I want to leave the world better for me having been here. What more can any of us do?

an unpopular opinion I know, but there are definitely people with children that do more harm than good on this rock!

I'm child free and my MIL made a very good point to me. She said to me once 'why do people have children?' And she said if most people are honest they have absolutely no idea they just do it as it's the traditional thing to do but the world is changing and it's not so expected for people to have kids anymore. You can live such a fulfilled life without the need to have children and essentially do what you want when you want.