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Can Bio dad stop my partner adopting my child if he isn't on birth certificate?

66 replies

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:12

Biological father to my child never wanted to be a parent and this was fine by me. So they were never added to birth certificate.

A few years later they get in touch out of boredom and curiosity and met their child. No commitment from them whatsoever, this predictably ended with bio dad not having an interest.

I then meet my partner who is an amazing father to my child. 100% sees them as his own. We want him to adopt my child.
Bio dad isn't happy about this. And says I'm to blame.

I'm just worried that the courts will dismiss us because bio dad doesn't agree despite having nothing to do with my child. I received nothing financially from them. They make no effort to see the child and my child doesn't care to see them. They think of my partner as dad.

I've read everything i can about "parental responsibility" and it sounds like bio dad doesn't have it. But Local Authority state they need to hear his opinion and present it to the court despite all of this. It sounds like this could be the decider.

Has anyone been through something similar?

OP posts:
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Wildflowers99 · 10/03/2025 21:17

How long have you been with your new partner?

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:18

Wildflowers99 · 10/03/2025 21:17

How long have you been with your new partner?

5 years

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 10/03/2025 21:19

How old is your child and are you married?

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:21

Not married, child is 9

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RosaBaby2 · 10/03/2025 21:22

I know someone who had a similar situation and as it could be proven from text messages that the bio dad was going to court only to spite and he never had anything to do with his son it was granted.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 10/03/2025 21:22

Id be getting married before letting someone adopt your child. Why does he need to be more committed to your child than to you? Claim CMS from bio dad.

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:26

I have every text message exchanged between us saved, and they show when he wanted to meet my child I fully supported this and tried to help them connect. I arranged family days out, invited him to birthdays and Christmases.

It literally didn't work because they got bored of it.
I don't believe he wants to be a parent, I just don't think he wants anyone to adopt them. It's so petty.

OP posts:
ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:27

ToKittyornottoKitty · 10/03/2025 21:22

Id be getting married before letting someone adopt your child. Why does he need to be more committed to your child than to you? Claim CMS from bio dad.

Because a marriage can end, committing to my child is 100% the only way I'll commit 100% to them. Why would I marry someone who isn't all in on my child?

And I don't want his money, that's not a factor to me. I care about the best thing for my child.

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Coconutter24 · 10/03/2025 21:32

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:27

Because a marriage can end, committing to my child is 100% the only way I'll commit 100% to them. Why would I marry someone who isn't all in on my child?

And I don't want his money, that's not a factor to me. I care about the best thing for my child.

I agree with the poster, you need to be fully committed to each other first.

tentotwotwenty · 10/03/2025 21:36

What's the benefit of your child being adopted now? To the child specifically?

JohnofWessex · 10/03/2025 21:37

It might be easier to give him parental responsibility as it doesnt break the legal ties (If any) with the father

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:37

Coconutter24 · 10/03/2025 21:32

I agree with the poster, you need to be fully committed to each other first.

We are fully committed to each other, engaged for 2 years. A wedding is not our priority right now.
And the social workers dealing with our request have said being married wouldn't help or hinder this case.

OP posts:
ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:40

JohnofWessex · 10/03/2025 21:37

It might be easier to give him parental responsibility as it doesnt break the legal ties (If any) with the father

I've read up on it and this will likely be the route we would take if adoption fails.

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Sassybooklover · 10/03/2025 21:41

You need to be aware that if your partner adopted your child, and you split, your partner would have a say in his upbringing, the same as if he were a biological Father. My friend married and her husband said he wanted to adopt her son's from her first marriage (their Dad passed away) but it didn't happen. They split up, and now she's very glad her ex didn't adopt her son's because she'd be tied to him, and he'd have a say in every part of their life. I'm not saying don't do it, but I am saying to be cautious. As for your child's biological Dad, if you can prove he's not interested, has no relationship with his child, and isn't listed as the Father on the birth certificate, I don't see why a judge wouldn't grant it.

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:48

Thank you, ive just seen so much conflicting information about what the court takes into consideration and what really constitutes parental responsibility.

I truly understand what I'm doing. I didn't take this decision lightly and make it because I know if anything happened to me, my partner is the best thing for my child.
Same as if we broke up, I genuinely know they would continue to be a great parent to our child. And that's my priority.
My child wants to be adopted by my partner. This has been a conversation in our house for a few of years before we actually began the process.

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ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:54

tentotwotwenty · 10/03/2025 21:36

What's the benefit of your child being adopted now? To the child specifically?

If anything were to happen to me, then my family would stay together and my partner wouldn't have to fight a custody battle amongst dealing with everything else.
Also because we now have biological children together, so we want them all to be his legally. I also think it's an extra reassurance to my child that who they see as their dad is "choosing them".

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GirlOverboard123 · 10/03/2025 21:54

Why can’t your partner just be your child’s stepfather? Your son already has a father (a father, not a ‘bio dad’). What if the two rebuild their relationship when your son is older? And what would happen if you split from your current partner soon after he adopts your son? I don’t see the need to complicate matters.

HarLace1 · 10/03/2025 21:57

GirlOverboard123 · 10/03/2025 21:54

Why can’t your partner just be your child’s stepfather? Your son already has a father (a father, not a ‘bio dad’). What if the two rebuild their relationship when your son is older? And what would happen if you split from your current partner soon after he adopts your son? I don’t see the need to complicate matters.

No, he's not a father is he he's done absolutely sod all for the child other than be a sperm donor.

Definitely let your partner adopt them, can't see any reason why not especially if sperm donor isn't on the birth certificate and zero evidence of any relationship!

*Edited to relationship!

DoYouReally · 10/03/2025 21:58

Even if ex agrees, you are letting a legal strange have rights over your child.

Rights that would ensure if you split.

I think it's insanity.

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 21:58

GirlOverboard123 · 10/03/2025 21:54

Why can’t your partner just be your child’s stepfather? Your son already has a father (a father, not a ‘bio dad’). What if the two rebuild their relationship when your son is older? And what would happen if you split from your current partner soon after he adopts your son? I don’t see the need to complicate matters.

I think I've answered most of this above. If for no other reason than it is what me, my partner and my child want.
If my child wanted to reconnect with their bio dad, that's up to them. This wouldn't actually prevent them reconnecting.
And if Bio dad wanted a relationship with my child, then adoption wouldn't even be on the cards. But they've had 9 years to decide and they chose not to be a dad.

OP posts:
emanresu24 · 10/03/2025 22:03

I'm a bit confused on who you're referring to as there's lots of they/them. Legally the biological father has the option to seek parenting rights and responsibilities and have his name on the birth certificate. He would have to petition the court and a DNA test may be required.

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 22:03

DoYouReally · 10/03/2025 21:58

Even if ex agrees, you are letting a legal strange have rights over your child.

Rights that would ensure if you split.

I think it's insanity.

Legal stranger 🤣

My partner has proved himself day in, day out for 5 years, how committed he is to us. How dedicated and how much he loves us.
Not sure i see anything insane about that?

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PerfectPennyKilledMyHusband · 10/03/2025 22:04

Has the father spoke to the social worker? They should speak to you both and make a recommendation to the judge.

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 22:06

PerfectPennyKilledMyHusband · 10/03/2025 22:04

Has the father spoke to the social worker? They should speak to you both and make a recommendation to the judge.

Social worker says they are trying to contact him.

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DoYouReally · 10/03/2025 22:07

ThisWildRoseOtter · 10/03/2025 22:03

Legal stranger 🤣

My partner has proved himself day in, day out for 5 years, how committed he is to us. How dedicated and how much he loves us.
Not sure i see anything insane about that?

He is a legal stranger.

He can effective adopt her, break up with you and demand 50/50 access thereafter.

It's not a gamble most responsible parents would take.