Can Bio dad stop my partner adopting my child if he isn't on birth certificate?

[ThisWildRoseOtter]

Biological father to my child never wanted to be a parent and this was fine by me. So they were never added to birth certificate.

A few years later they get in touch out of boredom and curiosity and met their child. No commitment from them whatsoever, this predictably ended with bio dad not having an interest.

I then meet my partner who is an amazing father to my child. 100% sees them as his own. We want him to adopt my child.
Bio dad isn't happy about this. And says I'm to blame.

I'm just worried that the courts will dismiss us because bio dad doesn't agree despite having nothing to do with my child. I received nothing financially from them. They make no effort to see the child and my child doesn't care to see them. They think of my partner as dad.

I've read everything i can about "parental responsibility" and it sounds like bio dad doesn't have it. But Local Authority state they need to hear his opinion and present it to the court despite all of this. It sounds like this could be the decider.

Has anyone been through something similar?

Sorry for confusion.

Biological father does not want to gain rights. He specifically told me he has no interest being a father.

He said he doesn't want child to be adopted. And I'm worried court will take his opinion and dismiss our request.

The social worker has to evidence to court everything that they did to try and gain bio dad's views. If he isn't engaging then that evidence is put towards the court as well as the assessment completed on you and your partner and your child's views. The court has to make a decision in the best interests of the child as it is a big thing removing parental rights (or the ability to gain them in this case). It does sound like you have a good chance as you can evidence you have done everything you can to facilitate that relationship with bio dad and he has not made any commitment, but obviously it is hard to predict what the judge will do on the day.

@ThisWildRoseOtter should not have told bio dad. should have said you had no idea where the lived and hadnt seen him for years

If there is evidence he has stated he doesn't want parental rights or to be the dad you have a really strong case!

If they can't contact him then I would imagine it would probably go ahead, especially if you can prove you've made him aware of your intent but he's not engaging with the social worker.

But if they do contact him and he tells them he does want to be involved and does want a relationship with his child, they would take that into consideration. Ultimately the social worker will want to speak to everyone involved and determine what is best for the child.

I don't think anyone can say how it will go really. It isn't like legal court where there are set precedents etc. It depends what he says to the social worker, it can also depend on the social worker or on the judge.

Maybe, but i feel like lying about something is a sure way to shoot yourself in the foot.

Thank you. Luckily I've kept everything bit of correspondence between us so can show my efforts.

If this man is living with and acting as her father, and she has siblings who are his. Why would you NOT want him to continue to be her father in the event of a split?
If the OP died would you really think it better for the child if she was removed from the only father and home she has known because she wasn't legally adopted?

Thank you. I've never known anyone who has gone through something like this so was unsure if there were precedents.

I was debating seeking out legal assistance but not sure it's necessary or worth it, if it wouldn't make a difference.

Thank you.

I want my child happy and safe in a loving home. I want them secure with a parent they know and love especially if anything were to happen to me.
My children are my priority.

My friend got married to her partner who was not the biological father of her son and adopted him. The biological dad was not involved and had been abusive to my friend. They had no contact and Bdad has moved and nobody could contact him. Social worker still had to attempt to trace him. He finally did consent to the adoption and her partner is officially legally the dad to her son. It was quite a long process and she did question if it was worth it but 9 years on they are all so glad they did

Thank you for sharing this. Lovely to hear of a wonderful outcome ❤️

If your partner adopts your child it severs all relationships with his biological father.

He may well be broke in which case it isnt an issue BUT it would mean that he would not inherit from his biological father if he died intestate which isnt the case if your partner goes for parental rights

Good legal advice is worth its weight in gold. Anything else is pure speculation.

In my experience, having legal representative usually does make a difference. They know the right way to phrase things, the right words to use. And the sections of the law to cite that are the most to your advantageous to your case.

Yes marriages can end, but as already experienced by your child a father (biological or adopted) can also walk away from them.

Personally I’d go for one of the alternatives and write a will.

Yes but I trust my partner to not do that. Given he has committed himself to us 100%

Well he hasn’t though… not even legally to you

I agree with your sentiment, but not sure Adoption is the best option.

My case was different as the bio father was deceased, but I was concerned that if I died too, his family would have the same rights to bring up my child as my family would.

When I wrote my Will stating that I wished my child to remain with my husband, the solicitor advised that my husband gain Step-Parental Responsibility rather than go through adoption It would achieve the same aim of my child remaining with him should I die. Much, much simpler and less intrusive than an adoption. We simply went together to a local Court with the form, made our declaration etc, and it was approved by the High Court.

Only those with Parental Responsibility had to approve this, so it should simply be you and your husband - once married, unless this has changed.

My husband also wrote in his Will that his step-child should inherit and be treated the same as any of his natural children.

Even if he has committed himself 100% (for now), things can change and there’s no way I’d be gambling my child’s well being when he’s already been let down once.

Too many stories of ppl walking away from kids even after being 100% committed.

There are other softer options without going full blown adoption.

When my DH met his ex she had a 2yo son. His dad stopped contact when he was 3 and my DH raised him as his own. When my SS was starting high school he asked to change his surname to my DHs. They had to get permission from his bio dad which they did and my SS changed his name. He still has his bio dad's surname as a middle name but goes by my DHs surname now. DH never adopted him or even had PR which was something his ex always used against him. She used to threaten to move away with SS, not tell DH where they were and reminded him there was nothing he could do about it as he had no legal rights. My SS now lives with us full time but the situation forced my DH to stay in an unhappy relationship a lot longer than he wanted to.

Obviously your situation is a lot different but the principle is the same. Should anything happen to you your OH has no legal rights to the boy he's raised as his own. It's also a fear I have as a SM. If anything were to happen to my DH there's a chance I'd never see the little girl I've raised as my own since she was a toddler.

I think people going on about your OH being a "legal stranger" are being a bit ridiculous. People have kids to partners who end up being shit parents all the time and those crappy parents still have a legal right to have their child 50:50. You're essentially retrospectively choosing your child's dad after they have proven themselves to be a good father and in turn ensuring he has a responsible parent to look after and protect him should anything happen to you.

People are being so weird about you not being married, as if that's the be all and end all of what makes a family! It's so outdated!

I think it's bloody lovely that this man is raising your first child as his own, in one family with his and your other children, and wants to prove to those kids that they are all equal and that if anything were to happen to you, that he's not going anywhere, and he's daddy to all of them.

That must feel so loving, safe and joyful to your first child, and I really hope you can do this for them. You are one family and this is really special.

How lovely for your child to have a Dad who loves them this much.

What I get from your posts is that your children have two parents who love them very much, and who want to safeguard their future as a family, should something happen to you.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

My dad adopted my older brother (my stepmother's son). This was around 45 years ago and I've no idea why they chose this route except to say his father wasn't on the scene. He almost certainly would have been asked for his input as they were able to reach him in "Australia" (prison). I've no idea how he felt about it as I was very young at the time, but over 45 years later, I think it worked out well, even after a horrible split with my stepmother. Tbh, we've always felt that out of the four of us, his adopted child is his favourite!

Well no he hasn't because you aren't married despite being together for 5 years.
Getting married and "a wedding" are 2 different things and even if Social Workers have said it won't make any difference I am sure it wouldn't make the adoption less likely. It will be down to a Judge not social workers at the end of the day.

Its not "outdated" , nobody thinks they should get married for moral reasons.
Being married gives everyone more legal rights and protections