Can Bio dad stop my partner adopting my child if he isn't on birth certificate?

[ThisWildRoseOtter]

Biological father to my child never wanted to be a parent and this was fine by me. So they were never added to birth certificate.

A few years later they get in touch out of boredom and curiosity and met their child. No commitment from them whatsoever, this predictably ended with bio dad not having an interest.

I then meet my partner who is an amazing father to my child. 100% sees them as his own. We want him to adopt my child.
Bio dad isn't happy about this. And says I'm to blame.

I'm just worried that the courts will dismiss us because bio dad doesn't agree despite having nothing to do with my child. I received nothing financially from them. They make no effort to see the child and my child doesn't care to see them. They think of my partner as dad.

I've read everything i can about "parental responsibility" and it sounds like bio dad doesn't have it. But Local Authority state they need to hear his opinion and present it to the court despite all of this. It sounds like this could be the decider.

Has anyone been through something similar?

It will make a huge difference. If anything happens to OP it means her child will be able to stay with her partner as he will be his legal father.

I believe the rules are different if you are married or not. It's easier when married.

Your OH could ask for PR as you and them have lived together with your child for more than 3 years.

Although your ex doesn't officially have PR, he would be entitled to it automatically if asked, regardless of his involvement in your child. This is why a judge would highly unlikely to agree to adoption without his consent. You need to start with your OH getting PR and seek advice from a family solicitor for the next step.

Not outdated, OP is asking about a legal document. Marriage is a legal contract that gives legal protections and makes OP and her (potential) husband a family, legally.

At the minute the only legal tie they have as a couple is whatever is on the tenancy/mortgage agreement. Why should OP not want the protection of marriage?
The father saying he does not want his child adopted could throw a spanner in the works.

I’ve adopted a child and I find it very weird you want to go through this process without being married

I would be concerned that as it has been discussed for “a few years” that this idea was introduced to a 6-7 year old child and then revisited multiple times. I think it would be advisable at least for the child to have spoken it through with someone impartial.

I think children’s wishes are taken into account when they are over the age of around 10.

I would say maybe think about parental responsibility rather than adoption

Engaged means engaged to be married.
I agree that you getting married is worth while for the security of you all.

Posters saying if the op and her partner spilt he would have responsibility over the child, like parents who are biological related don’t split up every single day and fathers don’t walk away from bio children all the time. @Loadsapandas every single person who has a child is taking the gamble regardless of biology, any parent can walk away at any time and decide not to be involved. Your own dh could just up and leave and impact your child’s well-being. What difference does it make if that man is biologically related or not. Yes he has been let down by the Bio man, but ops partner is his dad and the only dad he has ever known. It would be exactly the same as any other child should their dad walk away.
There is actually a huge positive to the child’s well-being, being chosen by a man who has loved him almost his whole life, is very good for his sense of belonging, identity and stability.

Anyway op, no one can say sorry. It will be down to the judge on the day and could go either way. There is no set in stone outcome. Two cases the same could go different ways, totally dependent on the judges interpretation of the SW report. Fingers crossed that the judge you get agrees that your ex is doing this because of spite. I have seen it go both ways. It doesn’t matter if he’s not on the birth certificate either, they still need to gain his consent and opinion as presumed father and they could still deny it based on this, regardless of whether he sees the child or not. Even though he doesn’t legally have PR as the identified father he could easily change that and stripping someone of PR, even if they have never bothered with the dc, is the most serious thing a family court has the power to do and they do not do it lightly. I’m not saying that’s not the right thing to do in your case I’m just stating the facts.

Could you dangle the financial carrot to your ex. So put it to him that it means he will no longer be financially responsible for dc and hint that if he disagrees then you may possibly seek maintenance. He sounds like the type that would be more worried about that than anything else. These types of men do anything to avoid paying for anything other than themselves.

Also not to derail but no one has rights over children, it is parental responsibility not rights. It means that the people with PR have a responsibility to provide for that child, in everything like housing and education, it does not give them rights to do anything the wish just because, they have to do what is in the child’s best interests and they should be held accountable if they neglect their responsibilities. Although in reality I know this doesn’t happen and plenty of feckless fathers shirk their responsibilities.

Totally insane thing to do

hth

He's not a father though, is he. Bio dad describes it pretty well.

That's the same for all dads.

So prioritise marriage.

This is like men who have a baby but refuse marriage. They know it is easier and cheaper to walk away from a child than it is from a marriage.

Quite.

100% committed would be marriage.

My brother s wife had 2 dc from previous marriage but their bio dad had no interest in them.my brother adopted them even tho bio dad waS on bc. He had to agree to it.

35 years later she is dead my brother is their dad and grandad to gc. All worked out well.

I also dont understand why you want him to adopt your child but not get married. If you're engaged then just get married. Unless its one of those 'engagements'that sound like we are making a commitment but we aren't really.

That's what I was thinking when I was doing the maths. If they've been together 5 years and this adoption idea has been floated for "a few years" then I'm assuming they must've only been together for 2 or 3 years when introducing this idea. I wouldn't even have a biological child to someone I'd only known for 2 years.

5 years together is really not that long. Just leave things as they are

I think the fact that you have dc together changes my view. I can see why you would want to do it.

I would seek legal advice though. Expensive but worth getting it right and doing it properly.