Too many kids and not enough room

[stressedmum2024]

I lived alone with my 3 kids for many years then met current OH two years ago. He has 5 kids and never once had them over night before we met at his place. He then moved in with me and all we do is argue about his kids and him saying they coming over to stay! There is no room at my house (where he moved in) as teenagers in one room and adult child in another room. His answer is we need a bigger house but i refuse to move as i surely cannot afford too and i am settled, plus would unsettle my kids. Should i tell him to move out and sort himself and his kids out as im sick of having the same arguements but this will be the end of our relationship if i do this.

Sounds like an option

Tell him to move out, it’s your house. He should have always had room for his children, not rely on you to provide for them

Sounds like you don't want to merge your life with his and his kids should come first for him, so you have to ask where is this going.

He has 5 children who he's never had overnight - that's outrageous in itself. To expect you to move to accommodate these children is beyond the pale. His children are his responsibility.

Yes, he should move out.

In your situation I would prefer to live alone with my dc and keep my peace!

If it's not working, then yes.

But why didn't he have his kids to stay before he moved in with you?

Did you discuss the possibility of his kids staying at yours before he moved in? Or did you expect him to continue not to have them overnight?

Wow. How did he ever think that would work?

Yes you need to detangle yourselves.

If he never had his DC overnight before he moved in with you then you've been had Op. He's just another man who wants a woman to do his parenting for him and you're DC will be suffering from this, you had a choice, they didn't. Tell him to leave and get your peaceful life back

Tell him to leave but did you not consider what would happen if he had to take on custody?

What exactly did you find attractive about a man with 5 children who had never once had them overnight the whole time you’d known him?

You've only been with him 2 years and he's already living with you and your kids, do your kids mind this. Was it all his idea to move in so you could help look after his DC, how kind of you.

If you are not on board with moving (totally your right) then you really have to live separately.

What's he doing about getting accommodation for you all? I would guess, Jack all, and expecting you to sort it? He can have his kids when he provides the house.

It couldn't be any clearer that this deadbeat is using you. Kick him out.

He's been looking for a home and nanny for his children - and here you are.

Get him out. FFS Why would anyone put up with this?

Why didn’t he have his kids overnight before he met you when he had his own place? How old are they?

This. Plus the red flag of him never having had his own place. I wonder how many other women he moved in on/with before you. He sounds like a total cocklodger,

You and your children deserve better.

He sounds like a catch and a prince.
He never had his kids overnight? But now he's moved in with you, he wants you to uproot your kids for the sake of his. Why did you let him move in? Did you know about these 5 kids he didn't bother to parent?

He should move out. If he’d always had his kids and changed his lifestyle/circumstances to move in with you, then that’s a different story. It’s not your responsibility to facilitate something that he’s never done, but now feels he should because of whatever reason.

When myself and DH first moved in together, we could only find a small 3 bed which often felt cramped when all of his kids stayed over, so he would alternate staying at ours with them and then his mums which had a lot more space. If there was a will, he’d have found a way before now.

Just kick him out and end the relationship. He's a user.

Where is he intending that you live to accommodate this new family of 10? Barbie’s dream house? And you’ll pay half of everything no doubt. And it’ll have to be all in your name because (through no fault of this Prince among men) he has bad credit?

Get rid. He’s an eejit.

He moved in to a three bed house that already accommodated 4 people and he’s surprised there isn’t room for his 5 kids? Is he very hard of thinking?