Prioritising rooms

[AmberB247]

Hi mums, I’m after a bit of advise about the bedroom arrangements in my house with my kids/step daughter!

My partner and I currently live in a 3 bedroom house with our 1 year old son. I’m 3 months pregnant with our second baby and my partner also has a 13 year old daughter who visits every other weekend so usually only 2 or 3 nights per month (this is her choice, not ours and it’s becoming less frequent as she lives around 45 mins away and often wants to go out/stay round friends houses at the weekends).

I’m starting to feel a bit anxious about sleeping/bedroom arrangements once my second baby is born. The baby will be in our room for around 6 months but after this I’m not sure on the best solution. My first baby will be 2 by then and ideally I don’t want my 2 year old and 6m old sharing a room as I’m afraid they’ll wake each other up (more the 6m old waking my 2yr old up!). We have the space to give them a room each however this would mean that when my step daughter stays she will not have her own room.

My thinking is that I would put my 2 year old in with me and give her his bedroom for the weekend!

Do you think this is unreasonable? I don’t want to make her feel pushed out however I also want my two children who live here full time to have their own space and considering she doesn’t stay that often I feel reluctant to give her a whole room and and making my two share.

Has anyone been in this position before?

(the rooms aren’t big enough to split into two and we’re not in a position to move somewhere bigger)

TIA x

i agree, however, the visiting children should also not be made to feel like an imposition!

@beckybarefoot so what’s the answer then??

if i were in this situation, there are very clearly 3 bedrooms in house! if i know i'm having a step child come stay at times, i'd put the 2 little ones in together and make the 3rd room a 'guest room' but make sure that the visiting child has a place for their own stuff, and can perhaps leave some of their belongings there if they wanted too. The visiting child is 13, from experience there are not many years left where they will want to visit dad.. as soon as the visits become a less regular thing, move the 2 younger into their separate bedrooms, unless ofcourse another baby were to arrive.

theres no need to be so aggressive.. life is not perfect, but in my experience when a visiting step child is made to 'make do' it causes issues.

i am only commenting on the OP's situation.. i cannot comment on every single blended family out there!

I would see when it's time because I have enough bedrooms for my step children and me and DH shared children to have a room each. They think it's like having a slumber party. My stepchildren are here 50% of the time so you would think they would want their own rooms especially as there 12 years between the oldest and youngest but they are very close

Really depends how littlest sleeps, that would have ended all sleep for me and eldest.

Two resident children need their own rooms especially if step daughter comes twice a month. What a waste of a bedroom. Anyone who thinks otherwise is bonkers!

mine shared from when they were about 6m and, even though we had an extra room. They always knew that uf they want their own rooms, they can have them, but preferred it this way. I think they asked for own rooms when older one was 7. give it a try, could work very well. And by the time they want own rooms, SD might be an adult.

If you want to alienate your SD take her room away

Thanks for this unhelpful comment 🤣

This

This. A baby can be in your room in a cot until it's 18 months or more. Then put both little ones' in together. Your step daughter would be 16 by then so might not want to stay overnight much for many years after that. At 18 she might be away at Uni. I'd wait until then to put your 2 DC in their own rooms.

I’d give it a year or so and see where you are then. Depending on younger dc sleep, how often DSD is staying at that point etc, either:

a) 2 youngest share and DSD’s room is also a spare room when she’s not there.

b) youngest and DSD share but youngest has a mattress in your room when DSD stays so she has her own space.

Ah that’s settled then 😂

Tricky. It’s easier when they’re little I guess as the youngest can come in with you every other weekend. That’s what I’d do anyway.

Hello everyone I’m in a bit of a dilemma my husband and I have kids from a previous relationship they are both five years old mine is a boy and his a girl.

we are looking to buy a two bedroom condo one room for us the other for “the kids” now she only comes every other Sunday and doesn’t sleep over so I feel like the room should be my sons and of course have space for her as well but I want it to mainly be his since he’s with us full time. Is that wrong of me ? We talked about splitting the room but the more I think of it I feel like it wouldn’t be fair since she doesn’t even stay with us a whole weekend. Also I missed to mention I feel like this would be an emotional toll on my son because it will be a constant reminder of her and he gets very sad that she’s not with us more often like he gets VERY sad and cries.
Help what should I do?