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Step-parenting

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Do I go against my better judgement or stick to my guns..

53 replies

bellsandwhistles333 · 07/09/2023 22:14

So my SS 16 (17 next March if that matters) had got his first girlfriend 2 months ago. He's very loved up and me and his dad have been really excited for him gave him money for date ms etc and asked lots of questions we are lucky he's mostly open and happily to talk.
She's been over to our house about 4/5 times and stayed the whole day Saturdays, had tea etc and we've played a few games aa a family here. Overall we like her and are letting it happily play out from a distance.
Now 3 weeks away his mum and stepdad and the girlfriends mum decided they could both sleep over together at both houses pretty much whenever, so of course they have been attached at the hip since.

Issue is I've been very open I don't think staying overnight is something that should be happening yet... not it's not all about sex I know you don't have to be in a bed at night to do that but it's more I just feel it's a lot at 16 to be with someone this intensely. Dad and I both drive and are happy to take her home late ish so 11/12 max but I feel it's coming to a head where he will not stay as much because if this... his dad will allow the staying but is backing me as I really don't want it.

Opinions please? What would you guys do / suggest? Just for info SS Is lovely and understands and hasn't demanded anything but odd things have been said and I can see it coming

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2023 07:48

bellsandwhistles333 · 07/09/2023 22:32

We have his 17 yr old sister here full time and I've got a 5 year old with his dad. To be honest a random one off would be ok with me but I feel then it would become expected...

I fully agree it's very intense as young first love always is I remember my own! But there was no way in hell either of us were sleeping over with each other till we were 19 I think the first time was

Perhaps just on weekend then

webster1987 · 10/09/2023 07:48

I think it will ultimately mean he chooses to stay at his mums and/or the GFs parents. For me, it doesn't feel like a big enough issue. She will be his world right now and that is part of teenage life I feel.

user1492757084 · 11/09/2023 03:07

No, having the boundaries set so that a young person, impressionable and developing, has spare time to reflect and lead some independent life and family life is the most healthy to me.
I would have no worries in saying no sleep overs - just to preserve the space for each of them to breathe. They might actually appreciate it. You have a young child. The other homes might be the more appropriate ones to be facilitating the sleepovers.

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