Not attending wedding

27 replies

Beanqueenie76 · 03/08/2023 11:41

Hi, just wondering what anyone's thoughts are about not attending stepdaughter's wedding?
Lots of historical issues and I have really taken a battering over the years.
The past three years I have kept stepdaughter at a good distance. This has been really good for my wellbeing.
Anyone else in this situation?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

Beanqueenie76 · 09/08/2023 09:31

jolies1 · 08/08/2023 17:08

From the other perspective… my stepmother has chosen not to be much of a part of my life the last few years - I’m inviting her to my wedding because it’s the right thing to do for the family and especially for my dad, I don’t want him to be alone on the day & I want him to know I’m open to a relationship. It will be hurtful if she doesn’t come.

In her position, I would suck it up for a day and socialise with the people she likes, I would be polite and welcoming, make sure she’s seated with people she would be comfortable with etc. However, I’m not confident I’ll get an acceptance! I’ve been in weddings where an ex’s family have been there, family members I don’t get on with…partner’s friends I don’t know… I’ve managed to grin and bear it for a day.

OP needs to speak to her husband and find out if she is invited, and if he wishes she would come. Then she can make a decision.

You sound like a very balanced person.

I have made an effort with SD over the years.
About 3 years ago was the final straw for me.
It has had an impact on my wellbeing.
No more and on a very recent meeting nothing had changed.
We all want the Hollywood ending but it's never going to happen.
To be honest it's been a Hollywood nightmare 😣 and at the cost of my sanity.
I am in a good place and feel strong to say no.
While I take some responsibility for not being strong enough in the beginning.
Although I did suggest SD needed some therapy/counselling.
Maybe this would of helped.
Sad really as SD is really a unhappy person and things could have been very different.
Also DH should have stepped up.
He fears rejection, still everyone has to live with what the situation is.

OP posts:

Original poster

Beanqueenie76 · 09/08/2023 09:34

AmandaHoldensLips · 08/08/2023 17:13

Don't go. No good will come of it. Even if your DH tries to guilt you into going, just don't. Tell him to go and have a good time and enjoy himself, but stay well away.

I am most definitely staying away from this.
It's going to be an dammed if you do and don't thing.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread