Feels like a stay at home dad.

[Chedderbites2]

My toddler and I live with my partner and his 7 year old dc. Both of our dc go to their dads/mums house every other weekend. We have only lived together for about 7 months and he is struggling with looking after my toddler when I'm in work. For context I work usually 3 long days a week. My toddler will often be in nursery on those days so he has to do drop off in am, collect 6pm and bed for 7. There is an occasional day when my shift won't fall on a nursery day so he has him for the full day. The other 4 days a week I'm with the kids full time and rarely have a nursery day off for time to myself. My partner is struggling with my toddler saying he feels like a stay at home dad. That he is restricted to school run times or nursery times and can't do anything ( he does have the 9 or so hours hes in nursery but says this isn't enough) when I question well u have to do it for ur dc he says thats different she's my kid. The days I am off he chooses still to not really do anything. He is unemployed currently but working on a business from home so doesn't have set hours or anything to do just gets draws as and when (artist) trying to build a portfolio. He is asking me if my toddlers dad will have him more which he won't I have asked before I basically beg them to see him now. I have also offered to pay for a babysitter to collect him from nursery and put him to bed which he has accepted. I feel a bit disheartened I don't know where this is going. He knew my situation and that I have a toddler when we got together. I embrace his child and watch her when he's drawing and take her for days out etc to give him a break. He says he feels like my babysitter. It hurts because I thought this was what families do. Both parents support each other and then when ur off u have times you come together. He just sees it as a 'u and ur son' 'me and my dc'

I'd be utterly humiliated to have the childcare bring the child in from nursery, feed him and put him to bed whilst the step dad is just sat there ignoring him.

He's told you this isn't what he wants. He doesn't want to be a step Dad. He doesn't want your son. He wants your son out of the house and put of the way. Your child is going to grow up knowing that the man who's meant to be his step Dad RESENTS him and never wanted him around.

That's a really shit life when you sound like a good Mom. Move out, pay for the childcare you're paying for anyway and go back to dating him.

I see whete he's coming from.

A toddler is harder work than a 7 year old. You can't leave them alone for more than a few moments. They can't play independently and he wouldn't be able to focus on his art when he's watching a toddler.