How do you split holiday costs?

[CrystalBall80]

Hi all. Please help me with this scenario before I potentially cause an issue!

My DP and I have been together almost 4 years, we don’t live together (maybe in the future). He has two DC on a 50/50 split, I have one DC 100% of the time. All DC range from 5 to 10 years old.

We have had open and honest conversations lately, one of which is I have felt a bit put out paying half for things when we’re together as a five - ie days out / weekends away etc. I earn a lot less than DP - and I also buy absolutely everything that my son needs, whereas DP obviously shares those costs.

We came to an agreement that where holidays are concerned, we split the bill for accommodation five ways, he pays 3/5 and I pay 2/5. We were both happy with this. Cut to next weekend, we have booked a three bedroomed apartment for three nights. Total bill is £500. I asked that he transfer £300 to my account when he gets a moment. He argues we should split the bill down the middle as the two younger DC are sharing (my DC and his DC). I still believe he should pay for 3 people and I pay for two, my son and I. The only reason we need a three bedroom apartment is because there are 3 DC. A two bedroom apartment would have been considerably cheaper. All other costs, food, ice creams etc are much more flexible, I would never ask for money back if I bought all 3 DC lunch etc. and understand that bringing two families together will cost money on both parts.

What do you think? Am I being fair or stingy?

thanks!

It is hard not to feel sorry for children like yours OP.

Their mother has brought a mean well paid man into their lives and she is paying to keep him.

You pay for his children, money you should be keeping for your child.

Your relationship with this mean tight man is clearly more important than prioritising your child.

How can it not be?

A mother whose child was her priority would never tolerate this, much less for 4 years.

You can take as much offence at people pointing it out to you as you like.

He's mean, he's using you, and you are paying money for his children that YOUR child should have.

This man knows EXACTLY what he is doing.

Mean men always know.

Thats why they look for women who will put having any man ahead of doing whats best for their own child first.

I don't mean to be harsh but you are wasting years and your money on a mean man who's priority is himself only.

Your child deserves better than that in his life.

I'm the other side of this, I'm the one with 2 children, he has 1. I'm the higher earner but I too have my children all the time apart from 2 weekends a month. He shares 50/50.

He is the one saying to me we split it 50/50 despite me saying I should pay for the extra person. His argument is we are a family, we have 3 children... we've been together 8 years and will move in together when our caring responsibilities are easier (elderly parents)