I'm a mother of 3. My partner has a child from a previous relationship too.
I can't seem to do anything right anymore.
My partner's job involves ridiculous shift patterns and previously he's had his son on every day off he's had. He's recently changed roles to better his hours and be more present in general, plus a better working environment which is great for him. My children are not his and I never put any pressure on him to help me out/rely on him parenting wise, I've always supported his work.
For a bit of context, his child is the same school year as my middle child. My child has additional needs and is really struggling at the moment particularly at school. I've also recently been in and out of hospital and bed ridden for the last week and a half. I've been so lucky that my mum has been available to pretty much care for me during this time.
I currently live in a 3 bed. All my kids are boys between the age of 14 - 3. I pay for everything. My partner is still stuck paying for a house he owns with his ex and it should have been sold a long time ago. His ex doesn't pay towards the house. To stick the knife in even more, it's now a variable rate mortgage.
I've sat and taken his new rota and I've made the dates in a schedule for him to send his ex partner where we can have his son. Previously, we've had his child here every day off he's had because there's been zero availability for him to see his child during his working hours because how much they rotate and how much they can be extremely unsociable hours. Doing that has been so fucking hard. As my sons SEN needs have gone through the roof recently, while trying to manage everyone else hasn't worked. And to add to the mix now, I'm unwell with chronic pain.
So the new child arrangements for the summer have been two out of three days off, or annual leave he needs to take off to make availability to have his child because they correlate with when my SEN child is mostly with his dad and step mum or when my oldest is at his dads. This frees up a bedroom for my child to be able to have space should things become difficult. My partner now has means to spend time with his son during this time after work or before work. I don't even have an issue with him being at his ex's house. He had the freedom to do what he needs to do with that.
But I'm struggling. Emotionally. Physically. Financially. And to make it that bit harder, his child doesn't even acknowledge me. He had to be prompted to speak to me or respond to something I've said. But I get the blame for that.
He's told me that his ex partner has accused him of not prioritising his child because it's not all three days off and, from my understanding, she's not liked that fact that I've had to factor in my children's needs too. Plus the fact I already can't cover the costs of another child during summer time. I'm off work sick and I'm self employed with no financial support due to their house STILL not being sold. It's in process but my god it's taking forever. I've defaulted on my own accounts, my credit file is fucked after working so hard to try and rectify it.
I'm in a bad headspace at the moment. I can't confront the situation. But I can't help but feel hurt about it all.
Sorry, I know it's long. Thank you if you managed to read it all.