Please some help or advice

[Misste]

I met my bf in December 2017, I knew he had 3 children to two different women but he only saw the oldest one who was then 8.. great kid and she often stayed with us at my home.. fast forward to march 2019 and social services contact him because the two other children’s mother wasn’t capable of looking after them anymore these are 2 and 4 years old… i said I would stand by him & help him with whatever was needed. We set up home together & the kids came to live with us in august 2019 and have lived with us since by the way I do not have any parental rights over these two children.. they were dropped with us on a Saturday and my bf went back to work on the Monday FULL TIME ..leaving the kids with me from then. I had my child in 2020 and we got on with life… the other morning while eating breakfast his oldest daughter who lives with us who’s now 8 said that her grandparents said “she does nothing for those kids”… ok so, for four years I’ve took them to school, picked them up from school, made sure they were clean and tidy, got them dressed, wiped away tears because real mother didn’t care, been abroad, all the “normal things” families do.. my family have welcomed them with open arms, they buy gifts and give cuddles when needed!.. I’ve saw a lot of their “firsts” apparently I’m not “doing enough” for two children who aren’t mine… please don’t reply being mean, I’m already at my lowest point because of all this toxicity and horrible things that have been said about me, but what more can I do 😞 I feel like a huge failure 😨 the youngest of his children suffers with mental health issues and childhood trauma along with adhd, she can be very difficult at times & I’ve had 100s of meetings with the school who are now trying to push for a special ed school! I fought for her, for all the help she needs! I really have done my best, but his family feel I haven’t done enough… for his kids & their grandkids

How are things now @Misste

@pillsthrillsandbellyache @billy1966 @JenniferBooth it’s been 2 weeks and 3 days I’ve been gone. I’ve found myself a house but I’m currently waiting on the keys and a couple of repairs that are being sorted! I’ve been working for the family & I feel great. I’ve heard nothing, I cut all contact and to be honest I was over it before I even left so I am not hurting. My little one is doing well & happy to be spending time with loved ones. Thank you all for checking up & sorry it’s taken a while to reply.. it won’t let me log into my usual name @Misste and I don’t know why. I’m all good though, thank you x

Aww good for you! It took guts to do what you did, your little one is very lucky to have you. Things will just get better and better for you @Misste1 💐

@Misste1 well done you.

You brave woman.

So pleased you escaped that awful user.
🥳🥳🥳

Would lovevto hear about his reaction to you going to your parents and leaving, if you feel like sharing.

Your thread is inspiring in that you took action and are already free.

@billy1966 he was furious at the start & thought I was having him on, then when the realisation set in & the van was waiting outside his face changed! He cried and pleaded with me to stay, I said I wasn’t able to continue being treat the way I am the old oh I’ll change came about & I knew it was bull so I just continued packing up the van.. I told him I had a new number & that he wouldn’t be able to contact me. He does know where my parents live & has made no effort to knock on the door, he has my parents numbers too & hasn’t contacted them either, I’m glad that it’s worked out the way it has & if it wasn’t for a lot of people on here then I’d probably still be there being his little lap dog! X

Well done.

Of course his tears were for himself!

Always for themselves.

Well done for changing your number.

You are a mighty woman once you found your steel.

Never forget that.

He may well be giving you time to calm down, so be prepared for this.

How nice that he and his parents can pick up the nothing that you were doing.....should be so easy for them.

As time goes on and the new school year approaches, be prepared for him to come a begging.

I hope he doesn't, but be ready if he does.

I bet you don't know yourself with the holiday you are on only looking after one child!

So great that YOUR child will get to experience a calmer, rested mum.

So delighted for you.

Your parents must be so proud of you.

Just wondering how you are doing @Misste1 .

I hope all is going well for you.

As a fellow stepmum to two children, one with more challenging issues. Iv come to learn no matter how hard you try it will never be good enough.
You sound like you've done more than enough so don't be made to feel like shit if your best isn't good enough that's their problem not yours.

@Fairydustxox thank you, that’s very true. Shame people don’t wake up & realise how hard it can be at times. X

Well done op. Congratulations on your new home!