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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Grandchildren

57 replies

Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:10

We both have grandchildren from our respective children. I love all our grandchildren like my own but my husband doesn't. When I asked him about it he said well they don't have any of my DNA... He's told me he can't f**King stand my son and doesn't trust him as far as he can throw him. I don't know why he feels like that and there is absolutely no justification for him to think that he can't be trusted. Absolutely gutted, real mixture of emotions and not sure what to do about it. 😠😢 What would you do in my situation...!

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 17/03/2023 15:12

Did you ask why he doesn't trust your son?

TidyDancer · 17/03/2023 15:17

You must've asked for more information on such a dramatic statement? That's quite something to come out with without some justification!

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:17

Yes and he just comes up with random sh#te that is totally untrue.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:19

He's always had a downer on him right from when he was a child and he's carried it on into adulthood. My son doesn't know and he would also be gutted if he did.

OP posts:
Starlitestarbright · 17/03/2023 15:21

Why on earth did you stay with this man when he is so vile of course your son will know.

flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:27

So he's been treating him like shite from the moment he met him? Wow

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:28

I'm asking myself that now.. He's didn't show it just moaned all the time to me about him over really petty things. He's really good with my daughter and has a lot of good qualities and it's only the last couple of years that this has come to a head. Whenever we have spoken about and I defend my son he says 'it must be me then, I knew it would be all my fault' I can't get too deep with him because I can't cope with the vitriolic way he speaks about him and his wife.

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:29

I wouldn't even deign to breath the same as some twat who badmouthed my child, never mind marrying him ffs

flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:30

flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:29

I wouldn't even deign to breath the same as some twat who badmouthed my child, never mind marrying him ffs

Breathe the same air!

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:34

Well obviously he wasn't like that before we got married and I thought the things that he moaned about when he was a child was partly down to our different parenting styles. I love my children and if it was a choice between him and my son, my son would win hands down. Step parenting is difficult but I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, apparently not.

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 17/03/2023 15:36

It’s normal to love your real children and grandchildren more than your step ones, but it is not normal to hate and distrust an someone, who you have been around/helped bring up since they were a child, for no apparent reason. I would leave someone who bad mouthed my child like this.

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:38

Thank you. That's where I'm at now...

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:38

Have you told him to just shut the fuck up?

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:42

Haha, yes, plenty of times but it doesn't change the facts. It came to a head because we were talking about getting our wills done. I don't trust him to do right by my son if something happened to me first so I need a solicitor for something entirely different now...

OP posts:
smileladiesplease · 17/03/2023 15:43

Christ op if any man bad mouthed my kids or grandkids his arse would be handed to him on a plate.

The comment about not sharing his dna is unforgivable. I could not live with this unpleasant shite. Do yourself and your kids/grandkids and end it.

As for the 'he's always had a downer on your son since childhood. Honestly what were you thinking

flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:45

Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:42

Haha, yes, plenty of times but it doesn't change the facts. It came to a head because we were talking about getting our wills done. I don't trust him to do right by my son if something happened to me first so I need a solicitor for something entirely different now...

Why are you with this man, bloody ridiculous you cannot trust him? And you seem to think it's funny

smileladiesplease · 17/03/2023 15:45

I was going to mention get your will sorted but didn't. However you said it and no he clearly cares not a fuck for your kids and so not you either.

Get shot of him

furryfrontbottom · 17/03/2023 15:47

What's so great about his DNA? Get him to spell it out. He won't be able to.

flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:47

Sorry I'm projecting, the man who beat me up as a child, who my mother was married too died this week, so it is very close to home

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:48

Obviously my brain was not in gear. It's not that black and white. As I said he's never shown it to him and he stopped moaning once my son left home and they seemed to have a good realtionship. Even now my son is unaware of his true feelings as was I and to hear him say that and think it's OK has been quite a shock to say the least.

OP posts:
TheInterceptor · 17/03/2023 15:49

Your son knows, believe me.

smileladiesplease · 17/03/2023 15:51

Well the bastard is dead and gone good riddance xxx hope you get the help you need.

Op stop thr ha ha it's annoying. Either put up with a bastard and put your kids and grandkids last or be a proper mum. Your call

flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:51

Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:48

Obviously my brain was not in gear. It's not that black and white. As I said he's never shown it to him and he stopped moaning once my son left home and they seemed to have a good realtionship. Even now my son is unaware of his true feelings as was I and to hear him say that and think it's OK has been quite a shock to say the least.

Your son will know, don't be too sure he didn't move out to get away from him. Resentment is felt and you couldn't have been witness to every interaction between them

Original poster
Sue20203 · 17/03/2023 15:53

I don't find this remotely funny trust me. I'm trying not to have a flipping breakdown here because I need to stay strong to do what I know I must. Don't you think I'm beating myself up about it. Now I need to make it right. Thanks for your opinions all welcome no matter how hard to read

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 17/03/2023 15:53

smileladiesplease · 17/03/2023 15:51

Well the bastard is dead and gone good riddance xxx hope you get the help you need.

Op stop thr ha ha it's annoying. Either put up with a bastard and put your kids and grandkids last or be a proper mum. Your call

It's a weird one to be sure. I'm getting help thank you