New Contact Arrangement

[helloproblem]

Me and my DP are moving from what was a half hour drive from DSC to an hours drive away.
I'm just wondering what people's contact arrangements are and how your husbands deal with being further away from their children?
Currently my DP has his boys two evenings after school and sees them every weekend for an overnight stay, tea time to tea time.
I don't feel the evenings will be possible anymore as logistically there is just not enough time to get them home after school and run them to their mums before bed... also 4 hours in the car would be ridiculous and expensive.
Me and my DP have been together 5 years and have a 5 month old.
We currently live in a two bedroom flat but moving to a 4 bedroom house so the upgrade allows the DSC to have a room each

It would be much better surely if the boys stayed overnight now, instead of returning to their mum’s. Does she receive CMS? That used to be calculated based on nights so I wonder if that is a factor.

In your DH’s shoes I’d suggest the boys go to you after school on Thursday and go back to mum’s on Sunday morning, or come to you Sunday morning and go back to her after school on Wednesday, whatever she prefers. That way both parents get a weekend day with the children but there’s less toing and froing all round.

@Willyoujustbequiet
i don’t think having to have her kids an extra night due to logistics is dictating mums life…not to the extent of being told where to live and what job to take.

If you want to be RP then you have to take more responsibility. I’m sure OPs DH would love to be RP, I’m sure mum would say no.

'I’m sure OPs DH would love to be RP'

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@arethereanyleftatall
another projector

Of course it is dictating her life. She already does the vast majority of the parenting and picks up his slack. Why should he get to choose to move and do even less?

She is not his default nanny. The entitlement that presumes she will just step up is staggering.

Yes of course he would. That's why he's trying to do less 😂😂😂

You can’t let two days a week rule your life, sorry but you can’t. The circumstances are completely different between parents…we don’t even know that mum’s bothered about doing the extra night. It’s not even a night, it’s one meal!

Im sure peoples attitudes would be different if the kids were saying they didn’t want to go in the week, people would say don’t make them without thinking about mum.

You can’t let two days a week rule your life, sorry but you can’t. The circumstances are completely different between parents…we don’t even know that mum’s bothered about doing the extra night. It’s not even a night, it’s one meal!

Absolutely!

what?? Course it does she lives there! They have a child together!

DSD mum and her moved from 5mins away to an 8h round trip and her mum still expected DH to have her as normal - one evening in week and every other weekend. Madness!

Whole day travelling Saturday even though DH left 6am collect for 10am, back to ours for 2ish traffic dependent, left again 8am Sunday to have her back by 12 at mums request. It didn't work. Mum knew it wouldn't. Not fair on child.