Stepkids here today. Keep me company please..

[sunshinesallday]

We aren't a very well blended family, and after many years of trying I accept it for what it is now and just live with it. I usually make plans to see friends EOW but for various reasons today I don't have any.

I've found myself with absolutely nothing to do today, and an extra hour to fill to top it. I really prefer to keep myself to myself because the mess and noise in the rest of the house drives me mad. (probably more my problem than their behaviour).

Maybe should post this in 'chat' but just trying to keep myself occupied and away from shopping websites ;)

Hope you're all having a good Sunday.

Here’s me thinking when my DSD hits college she won’t be staying over eow anymore and it would be a much more easy going drop in when she feels like it😂

Oh me too!!! I'm looking forward to it. Much less stressful.

Here in solidarity with you. My SS is 22 and still here EOW without fail. He is very nice and I don't have an issue with him at all but we have a small house and I find it claustrophobic and feel annoyed when OH rolls out the red carpet each time. I don't sleep very well when SS is here as he often goes out clubbing on Fri/Sat and usually wakes the whole household when he stumbles in at 3am.

I naively thought EOW would stop around the age of 18/19 and switch to ad-hoc meals or the odd night staying over. The most annoying thing for me is that OH won't let us do anything without SS when he is here and obviously he is far too old to drag along to things. So I attend lots of family/friends events alone if they fall on the weekend SS is here.

I’m genuinely puzzled about the three - now two of them - religiously staying EOW at these ages. Do they have no lives of their own?

They come and go, so they do have their own things they do, but mostly eat meals here then meet a friend locally for a couple of hours, and go out on a Saturday night. They like to spend a lot of time with their Dad which is lovely, of course, but, it does make it slightly harder for me on these weekends to just relax, and also for us to make any plans. But, another weekend is over now and I'm relaxed.

Thank you those of you who understand me. I'm not complaining or moaning too much I hope, and I don't have major issues, but it is just hard, and to know that others are here who are in the same boat and understand is nice, and comforting.

See you next time :)

Of course it’s lovely they want to see their dad regularly, but this feels SO regimented. I’m amazed they do it.

I completely know what you mean. I love my dsd in my own way but I can’t relax while she’s here properly and I’m certainly not expecting her to be on a rigid eow once she’s at college as I presume she would have more of a life with friends, college and work (weekend job etc) and wouldn’t want to be here as much then!

I really want some fruit and nut now too😂

I was hoping children of those ages stop staying. My SC are 12 and 10 and I'm hoping they will stop coming when they are 15/16 years old as they'll have other things to do at weekends. When I was 16 I was out working Saturday and Sunday and out with my friends and sleepovers etc. I wouldn't of slept over at my dads instead!

I would be telling my SC they aren't welcome to come in at all hours! If they wish to do that then they should go home! Probably because we have younger children who they share a room room so no way would I be allowing that

I totally understand you, I always make plans to be out the way. Hope you enjoyed your Netflix

This.

To be fair when my two were 18 and 21 I didn't want to see them every weekend and they're my own

@JennyJungle hope you found some fruit & nut 😂

thank you all for all your support today 😘

I do find it a bit odd that 'kids' that age still come EOW. I mean when will they stop? I have this vision of 40 year olds staying at dad's EOW.

My eldest SS is 21 and doesn't come to stay any more, we don't have a bedroom for him any more. Youngest is 15 and obviously still comes but once he goes away to uni I would expect it to drop off. I barely see my own daughter and she's 19. Looking forward to the day I can downsize.

“id be expecting the 21/23 year old to be popping in for a couple of hours and then going home”

I don’t understand this - isn’t this also their home?

We have DSD (18) and DSS (12) with us twice a week and EOW, and as far as I’m concerned this is as much their home as the one they share with their mum. They are welcome to come and go as they choose, and I hope they will always feel that way until they get their own places.

And I am saying that as someone who relishes their own space and time! When the SC are here I still do my own thing, will occasionally just take myself off for a walk, or a nap, without feeling as if I’m being ousted.

They are here to see and spend time with their dad, and sometimes they don’t even do that but instead have friends come over, stay in their rooms, go out for the day with their friends, much like they would “at home”.

No I don’t see it as her home and neither does she. Her main residence is her home which is her mums.

We live an hour away so she can’t just come and go as she pleases, it needs planning and her friends are by her mums although she’s not very social anyway so doesn’t have many friends to go in and out with.

You are moaning about two adults
get over it , childish post

Agreed.

What would you all do if they came to live with you permanently?

I'd leave personally

Come and hang out with me @sunshinesallday, I often have things to do at home on a Sunday and also treat myself to a bit of chocolate and telly and lots of tea. I’d be glad of the company.

Same @SporkAndMonday

I thought this would be about toddlers or young children, but it's about adults visiting their parent. Bizarre.

To be clear though, it's not the women posting on this board I blame, but the wet men who married them. How you can love someone who views your own children with tolerance at best is something I will never understand and, yes I come from a blended family.

If a strict pattern of visiting is in place, then it’s quite hard to break this - unless something like universally happens.

I actually think that as young adults it's lovely they want to spend that much time with their dad, he's obviously a good dad in their eyes or they wouldn't do it. I fail to see how 2 adult step children can cause stress by staying over, it's not like they need looking after and their dad rolls out the red carpet because he's excited to see his kids and wants them to know it, how nice.

But having two adult visitors is bound to have some impact on the OP?