Giving one word answers to someone repeatedly after a situation, when being more chatty with the otter people present, IS harsh.
By people, we are talking about kids. I would say wearing a smile for the kids when you are feeling a bit low about something you know you can't change is a pretty positive thing. Plus, as I said, it really depends on the nature of these one word answers. If she's repeatedly trying to engage him with about things that obviously require more than that, then he's probably taking it too far, but if she's asking him simple questions and he's giving back short answers, I don't see that as the crime of the century.
*Yes the situation has persisted. It’s not going to change. It really is quite unreasonable after YEARS to continue to be sulky, grumpy or worse when your spouse speaks to her ex regarding their child.
Im glad I’m not the only poster who gets that.
There’s an obvious bias on here by a few posters, including you, to support the step-parent no matter what.
A basic tenent of being a step-parent is accepting that your partner’s ex will still be in their lives in some way. Most of us manage not to take out our uncomfortable feelings about it on our partners. We might be grumpy now and then but doing it every time they gave contact is not on*
I'm not supporting him no matter what. I may not be supporting him at all, what I am saying is that how bad his behaviour is is a very difficult thing to determine without witnessing it, being very harsh = too far, being a bit grumpy/uncomfortable = him having his own feelings.
Yes, being a step parent means accepting things like this need to happen. It doesn't mean showing zero emotion about it because your partner can't be bothered and just wants you to crack on. If he wants to handle his feelings by keeping himself to himself a bit that's his choice. If he wants to deal with it by snapping at and insulting OP, that's obviously crossing a line.