How to call stepmother by her name or mother?

[originalplus]

My father would like me to call his second wife mom.
My biological mother died when I was very young. What do you think?

What do you want to do?

As pp said. What do you want to do?

How old are you now?

You call her whatever you feel comfortable with. It could be her name, or a friendly nickname or, if you are 100 percent happy with it, mum. It's your choice not your father's.

It doesn't matter what we think. What do you think?

Assuming you are an adult.. it would be a no from me

Unless you have hacked your mother’s account - then this is very odd OP

I think no. Unless you want to.

I honestly don't know yet.
On the one hand I want to call her mom , on the other hand it is embarrassing.
Like I'm betraying my mother's memory.

She isn't your mom though. Getting a step parent as an adult doesn't make her a mother. She is your dads wife

@Nadal
She is 31 years old. I am almost 18.

You are an adult though, it's a big stretch to start calling someone else mom when she isn't going to do any mothering. And of course you have a mom. I'm very sorry for your loss.

My MIL wanted me to call her and FIL mum and dad. My own dad had just died. No way was I calling anyone else dad at that point in time, it was incredibly insensitive and spoiled our relationship for years.

Work it out between you and the new wife and ignore your dad.

It’s entirely up to you.

You aren’t betraying your mum’s memory, you can have a real mum and an everyday mum.

However as an adult/near adult it would be quite unusual to call a step mum mum, because she hasn’t mothered you.

Your Dad shouldn’t be pressuring you whatever, so tell him to butt out,

What is her role in your life?

If you want to call her mum (and she's happy with that), then do. It's no reflection on your biological mum.

My biological dad died when I was very young. My mum remarried when I was 4 and I called him (her second husband) dad as he was. I had a 'first dad' and a 'second dad'.

Old enough to know that this is very odd and say “not going to happen dad”. And move on

Is this real OP??

If it is, then that’s a very small age gap and I think it would be odd for you to call her mum.

I would feel VERY weird calling someone 12 years older than me Mom.

Given the age gap no it would unsettled me especially as your dm passed away.

@Luredbyapomegranate

She also desires it.
Is very kind and always generous to me. Now she is pregnant, and she is trying to involve me in every way.

You haven’t even remotely alluded to how you feel about it.

what’s the big mystery?

I would just use her name in that case. Has she asked to be called mom because I think it would be strange given small age gap

I don't know what to say.
The truth: I have always missed a normal family. A maternal point of reference.
Everything is difficult now, though.

I have several friends 12 years older than me. The idea of calling someone 12 years older than me (as an adult) is laughable.

Anyway, this is YOUR choice, not your Dads.

How long has your Dad been involved with her?

What have you called her until now?

Whats your relationship like with her?

What would she prefer?...at 38 I'm not convinced she's going to want an adult to call her Mom?!

Are they planning on having children?

lol so many questions!!

”a maternal point of reference” is made as a result of a name.

It grows, develops, blossoms
or
it doesn’t

not made